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How do I help my dad?

Posted by mary1nys (My Page) on
Thu, Mar 29, 07 at 23:02

After being diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer on Feb 1, my 80 year old mother passed awy on March 21. I was with her when she passed away. The grief is gut wrenching but I can't imagine how it must feel to my 86 year old father. They did everything and went everywhere together for the past 62 years. I have many siblings and we are doing what we can for him. He may be moving in with one of his sons soon. He looks so lost and it breaks my heart. Can someone at this age with lots of family support actually have some decent years left to his life? I dont want him to think life isn't worth it now. Oh how can I help him?

Follow-Up Postings:

RE: How do I help my dad?

I wish I knew what to tell you, I was married only 37 years and I am inconsolable so I can't imigine his grief. Encourange him to talk about your Mom, especially the good times and encourange him to tell you how he is feeling because it helps to talk it out. People can be afraid to bring up the subject of a spouse dying but in my personal experience I want people to talk about my husband and I want to tell them about him. God Bless you and your family.

RE: How do I help my dad?

Hi Mary,

My parents were married 36 years and my mom died unexpectedly with no warning at all. While it was unbelieveably hard for me, I remember being almost afraid in the first few weeks to go to my dads home because his grief was so painful to witness. My heart goes out to you and if I have even one crumb of worthy help to offer it would be to find out, in talks with your dad, what his belief of the future is with regards to your mom. Does he have any spiritual hope or wish that he holds to heart? If so, it can make such a difference in how you view the present. A difference between night and day, truly. I would love to speak more with you, yet don't want to offend any who have no spiritual leaning or belief. If you wish, please email me at
I'm not rotten, as my email claims. Just love ancient history and Livia, wife of Augustus Caesar, was rotten.

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