Hello Florence. Thanks for your advice. I read the article "New York Times" on Camellia in Louisiana. My congratulations. It's a great satisfaction to see an article on camellias in a newspaper as important and known in the world. I also congratulate you and the fans who work to protect the Camellias and ancient gardens. To me, I love old camellias and I like to try to achieve their identification. In 2010, during a visit to Portugal with other members of the Spanish Camellia Society, identified an ancient variety. The "Formosa de Young" symns."Young's Formosa", "Formosa Youngii", cultivar of English origin in the mid-nineteenth century. Experts have recognized Areeiro SF. I like knowing that many other people in the world have the same passion I have. I hope to achieve save camellias Island Tabasco Peppers. Receive my warm greetings. Daniel D.F. oKintos Camellia japonica "Formosa de Young" Here is a link that might be useful: New York Times article camellias

Hi Chisue: How awful and sad for your neighbors. I don't know if this was a suicide or an accidental death (e.g., due to playing the choking game or huffing) but sometimes the best thing to say is: "I don't know what to say other than I am so sorry for your loss." And then listen if they want to talk. Check in on them and let them vent if you can handle that. It's perfectly ok to cry with them as well as long as they don't end up being the one who has to comfort you. Actions speak louder than words. Drop by with a meal, mow the lawn, take their kids to school. Help with housework. Do the dishes. In short, helping with the mundane life tasks until the family can get back on its feet can be very helpful after everyone has expressed their sympathies and then returned to their lives. Understand that these are just general suggestions. I know of one person who felt helped the most by a neighbor who came over and polished the family's shoes for the funeral. I did not lose a child but did lose a spouse to suicide, and I would have given anything had someone stepped up to the plate and helped me out in this way. Regards, Mary R-K

I have not seen my 14yr old son since September 2015. This is because my now ex-husband, had me arrested for allegations of assault to injury on both him and our son. I believe that this happened because approximately 3 weeks prior to my arrest I had given my husband an ultimatum that if things hadn't changed in our marriage by the time we returned from a family holiday in the October that we would be over. We had at that time been married for 13yrs and our son was 12yrs old. Our marriage had been awful for almost the entirety of it but I tolerated things as I thought it was best for our son. My husband was a sociopath and narcissist. He was emotional abusive to me, offered no support in parenting our son, was catty and sarcastic to my older son from a previous marriage. He hacked my mobile, email and social media and basically had me left with no confidence or self-esteem. He contributed very little financially towards the running of the family home and I paid for 7 yearly holidays abroad and he contributed nothing other than some spending money. He very much was manipulative of our son, particularly against me. He allowed our son, latterly, to speak to me disrespectfully and threaten me with hitting me etc. He did nothing to intervene. To cut a very long story short, the case went to court (despite there being no medical evidence to back up his claims) and my lawyer said that my ex-husband "hood-winked" the Sheriff into believing his fabricated evidence. My son's evidence was very distressing to hear as he became extremely distressed whilst giving evidence (behind a scree) and was in tears saying he couldn't remember things. Unfortunately the Sheriff took his upset as evidence that he was having to relive the abuse. I was found guilty and following background reports and character references the Sheriff when I was in court for sentencing stated that "having read the numerous character references and background report he had a better insight into the situation and that it was clear I was a loving mother". I was given a 12month supervision order in February 2017. From the date of my arrest until the date I was sentenced I was on bail with a condition attached whereby I was not allowed to contact my son and only allowed to see him if he requested it. My husband, who is an IT officer, disconnected all of my side of the family to whom my son was exceptionally close, effectively cutting off everyone from my son's life. A few weeks ago my older son and I spotted that my son's name appeared on social media (having previously been blocked) and so my older son has finally managed to make contact and subsequently had conversations and video chats with him. I have too managed to see his details and I have sent him a private message just letting him know that I have thought about him every day and will always be there for him should we ever want or need me. I also told him I hoped he was ok and that I missed and loved him always. As yet I have not had a reply but I will hope and pray that eventually he will. My divorce came through last week so I am pleased about that but my heart breaks for not having seen my son in all this time. We, incidentally had a very close relationship right up until the day of my arrest. My husband clearly wanted to destroy me because I had finally stood up to him and stated that I wasn't tolerating his treatment of me any longer. Being able to read on this forum of others having gone through similar is very, very helpful.

I agree with the others. Why would your aunt want to put a barrier between father and son? That would be simply cruel. If your aunt feels guilty, tell her to confide in a minister or counselor and NOBODY ELSE. Telling her husband would only cause him pain. The guilt is the price of her action and she must deal with it herself, not inflict it on others.