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15 days ago found husband with gunshot to head

Posted by katydave (My Page) on
Fri, Mar 23, 07 at 15:41

It's been 15 days since I lost the love of my life. He was buried in debt and obviously saw no way out. I went to the store and when I returned he had laid down on our backyard lawn and put a 45 to his head and pulled the trigger.
He did it as neat as possible. He left all his insurance policies out on his home office table.
I have been alone most of the time since. My family had another tradgedy a few days after this happened. My neice (14 yrs. old) was diagnosed with Leukemia and is already undergoing Kemo treatments. So all my family is tending to her needs. Which I understand.
I have tried to contact counselors, having a hard time finding one. My husband left me over $102,000 in his credit card bills. I'm not on any of them.
I not only have been grieving the loss but I've had to deal with all this financial stuff.
He had three children from his previous marriage and they are all together at their Mom's house. They get flowers and cards, his mother gets cards and flowers. I feel like I am in this thing alone.
We were married 11 years, and were so very much in love.
I don't know what will happen to me. I've never lived alone. I was married 27 years before I met my Sweet Dave.
I feel as though my heart is truly broken, and I will never be right again.

Follow-Up Postings:

RE: 15 days ago found husband with gunshot to head

Katy, I am SO SORRY for your loss. I gave you feedback on your other thread. If you need to talk, email me or anyone on this forum.

Here is a link that might be useful: Survivors of Suicide website

RE: 15 days ago found husband with gunshot to head

I am so sorry for your loss, i can imagine the pain you are going through. Is very hard loosing a loved one, specially someone you have spend so many years with. I pray you find the comfort and peace you deserve and that you find the help you seek, we are here to listen. Take care and know you are not alone.

My best to you, and God bless

A hug from me to you :)

RE: 15 days ago found husband with gunshot to head

I know this seems like more than you can take, but now, more than ever,you need to pull yourself up by the boot straps, suck it up, and just get into survival mode. Don't let this tragic event pull you into an economic, as well as mental, calamity, as which you know it very well could. Contact a lawyer immediately and have him review your financial situation. Understand just exactly where you stand. Find out absolutely everything that was going on with your husband financially. No matter how hopeless the situation may seem, if you know exactly where you stand and get help to develop a plan to get out of it, things could start looking up. It is so easy to just want to crawl into the corner and stick your head in the sand in times of crisis but hold your head up, make a plan on how you are going to get through this. God Bless!

RE: 15 days ago found husband with gunshot to head

Oh Katy, I'm so sorry. I can't begin to imagine how you feel. Continue to visit this forum and share your thoughts because it will ease your pain a little.

RE: 15 days ago found husband with gunshot to head

I'm so sorry, Katy. I can understand where the grief itself is overwhelming, not to mention the financial worries in addition.
Do as Ross939 suggested and find out everything about the financial situation and make a plan to pay off the debts.
I'm so sorry. We will be here if you need us.

RE: 15 days ago found husband with gunshot to head

I am so sorry for your tragic loss. I can't even begin to imagine the pain you are in. Please contact a grief counceler and a lawyer as soon as possible. Don't bear this burden alone.

RE: 15 days ago found husband with gunshot to head

Don't pay anything & don't agree to pay anything until you know for sure if you are obligated.

Consult a good lawyer right away.

Be good to yourself.

RE: 15 days ago found husband with gunshot to head

I am sorry for your loss and like someone said, do not make a commitment to any of his bills in his name. You are not responsible. Get a good lawyer to help you out, or a friend. Contact any large church, YMCA or even your local hospital chaplin for help. As to his other family, I am sorry they seem to have rejected you. Someday they will need your help, but you won't be their. What goes around ,comes around. As to the bills, send a copy of the death cert to the companies and tell them you are not responsible, even in a community property state. Your name is not on them, they cannot make you pay. If they do, contact your attorney general for help.

RE: 15 days ago found husband with gunshot to head


Give yourself time to get over the shock of it all.

Then, when you have regained your strength, you can tackle the financial problem. You must see a lawyer about your rights.

Its a very difficult situation for you, do you have any family members, or close friends to hold your hand through this ?

Sometimes I think we just need an advocate to help us, to hold our hands to guide us through things. Drive us to places, buy food, just the basics. Make us some tea, a meal. Do you have someone who can help like that for a while ?

If you are like me, I tend not to ask for help, but sometimes we don't know what we need until after the event.

A hug is good. Holding your hand is good.

I will send you a hug and hold your hand from across the miles.

Take care my friend.


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