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Grieving again (pet)

Posted by Bill_Wilson (My Page) on
Wed, Mar 2, 05 at 10:43

I had to have our family dog, Mandy, put to sleep yesterday. I was plowing snow with a farm tractor and she ran underneath the front wheels. I was backing up, looking behind me and never saw her. I feel terrible and breaking the news to my daughters was pretty traumatic. Even though they don't blame me and intellectually I understand that it was an accident, I am still wracked with guilt.

Mandy was about 15 years old, but had been in relatively good health. She was nearly deaf and couldn't control her bladder anymore, but otherwise, she was in good spirits and got around pretty well. She's been a loyal and great companion to me all these years and I feel like I let her down. I had always hoped she would just pass, peacefully in her sleep. I never imagined something like this would happen.

I hesitated to bring this to the forum. So many folks here are dealing with the death of loved ones, under some very tragic and heartrending circumstances. Having lost my Dad a little over a year ago (and subsequently finding this forum), I am very sensitive to that. But I also know that the people here are very compassionate and frankly I could use a little sympathy right now.

As always, thanks for listening.


Follow-Up Postings:

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RE: Grieving a Pet

Grief for our family memebers in no way diminishes the pain that loss of a pet causes. I'm so sorry about Mandy's accident. Sometimes things just happen in spite of our best care. Pets give so much devotion and pleasure to us. I remember my long-ago pets with such delight in each doggie little life. Be comforted to know that others care.

Nell


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RE: Grieving again (pet)

I'm sorry, Bill, about Mandy. It's a tough loss under any circumstances, but this is especially difficult. And I know you are still feeling the loss of your father.


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RE: Grieving again (pet)

Oh, Bill...it is so hard to feel responsible for those who are dependent on you. Understanding that you certainly did not intend to run over Mandy doesn't really assuage the grief, I'm sure. Back when my mother was ill, in the final week of her life, I let my kitty Isabel out doors because she was driving me nuts, as she often did, and she got hit by a hit and run driver. Dead in the ditch on Easter Sunday. I felt so bad; I should have just locked her in a room. But you can't know what is coming. I can identify with how you feel. Poor little Mandy. Derry


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RE: Grieving again (pet)

Oh, how awful, Bill. But you know, when I read that she was 15 and losing bladder control, I wondered if this wasn't the way she would have chosen to go. Wretched for you, but perhaps a blessing for her.

I don't know how many dogs you've had in your lifetime, but in my experience it's rare for a dog to die peacefully in sleep. I've had to make many trips to the vet to have a beloved animal put down. Just going to vet is usually scary for them. And then they have to have a leg shaved with a noisy electric clipper. And you know what's coming, and your distress is silently conveyed to them. It's a terrible ordeal. I can honestly imagine Mandy happy that she passed over on familiar territory, doing something she loved, with someone she loves.

I believe that, Bill. I hope it helps.

Susan


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RE: Grieving again (pet)

Bill,
I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet Mandy. I know you are still grieving for your dad and now you've had another loss of someone dear. But what Susan has said sure makes alot of sense to me. Please know we are thinking of you during this time.


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RE: Grieving again (pet)

Bill, I am so sorry - how awful this must have been for you. Losing a dearly loved family pet is so sad and I am sure this must have been even worse for you because of the way it happened. It was an accident...truly an accident. I think that Mandy knew she was loved very much. My sympathies to you - I am very sorry.

deb


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RE: Grieving again (pet)

I'm so sorry about your loss of Mandy, Bill. I can relate to your feelings of guilt with the loss of your dog. I think when Christin saw that our dog Zack had just been hit by a car and she had been left to care for him by my son, this is when she panicked and wasn't thinking straight. She put herself in harms way to try to save him and in turn lost her own life. It is through love for others that we feel this guilt and responsibility, but guilt never serves a purpose other than to make us miserable. I hope that you can forgive yourself for this accident and I'm sure that your daughters wouldn't want you to carry guilt around with you for this.
Bless you.
LU


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RE: Grieving again (pet)

Bill, I am so sorry for your losses, both your Dad and Mandy. They both leave the heart filled with saddness and pain. Do not apologize for posting about Mandy!!!

I lost my mom alittle over a year ago to lung cancer (she never smoked either) and it is still difficult for me at times. I am now facing the near future loss of my dog Kasey. She recently had bladder stones removed and a biopsy was done at the same time. Last weekend the vet called to say it was Transitional Cell carcinoma. Kasey has 3-6 months left and I will cherish every moment with her until that day comes. At the same time, this brings back so many memories of my mom and her last year. My prayers and thoughts are with you.
~Silvia


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