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Can I ask this here?

Posted by Ronnie17 (My Page) on
Tue, Feb 1, 05 at 16:23

I kind of know faith is sort of taboo on the site but I was just wondering what everybody kind of believes.
As some of you know we lost our 12 year old nephew on Thanksgiving. I kind of lost all my faith in anything. I know that is normal and I don't blame any one. when I lost my dad and watched him suffer I thought I was loosing faith then, but now it doesn't feel like it will come back. I just don't believe anymore.
Any thoughts?


Follow-Up Postings:

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RE: Can I ask this here?

Actually, my faith increased when I read a friend's journal about losing his wife and both children in a fiery crash on the 94 freeway in August of 1992 (near Battle Creek, MI). His faith gave him remarkable strength to get through his ordeal. So, I sought to find his kind of strength through Bible Studies and a more serious relationship with our Heavenly Father.
I reread his journal often to remind me of my blessings that I thank God for and try not to complain about life's lessons, that have strengthened me.

Maybe going to a Christian bookstore for a book on grief will help you cope with your losses.


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RE: Can I ask this here?

Before my daughter passed away I believed in the survival of the spirit and the existence of a richly complex afterlife. After, my faith is even stronger because of the many signs she has sent me.

My family includes Protestants, Catholics, and Jews, but I am allied with no organized relgion. I found books on grief to be helpful, but I did not buy them at a Christian bookstore.

Susan


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RE: Can I ask this here?

Having Faith doesn't mean that you are always going to have things going your way. It doesn't mean that there won't be sorrows and bad times. Having Faith means that you know, without a doubt, that you can make it. It means that you can overcome because there is Strength there. All you have to have is Faith that you are able to use that Strength. There was never a promise that life was going to be a bed of roses. The promise was that you can make it. Your choice.


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RE: Can I ask this here?

Many times when people are grieving, they feel that they have no more faith. Most of the time, it is only that they are grieving, not that they have truly lost their faith.
We try to understand the whys associated with suffering and death and there is no answer for us in this life. this may frustrate and anger us. We are asked by our Heavenly Father to trust Him and try to believe that whatever happens and however horrible, is for our eternal good that we may never understand or know in this life. Sometimes it is very hard for all of us humans who have only earthly wisdom to understand this and to accept it. The more we let ourselves slip away from our faith and belief in Him, the deeper we sink emotionally and spiritually, and that makes "someone" else very, very, happy. As hard as it is, we have to continue to try to keep our faith even though we just don't understand the reasoning behind our suffering and losses.
I think it is normal for all humans to go through cold spells in their faith and it is especially common after major losses in life. It's just so hard to want answers and explanations and not get them.
I think in time, you will grow to be faithful again if you let yourself. It just takes time, but don't beat yourself up for not feeling like you did before. Try to keep your relationship with God and He will help you through this.
Lu


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RE: Can I ask this here?

Ronnie,

If it helps at all, I believe that our ability to have faith is, in itself, a gift from God. Therefore we don't lose our faith persay, because God doesn't take back the gift. Instead we just don't put it into action. It's like getting a really nice present and leaving it in the closet. It's still ours, it's still there, waiting to be used and it works just as well after sitting dormant as it did when it was new.

Talk to God. Even if you doubt that He's listening, He's listening. Don't necessarily expect bold signs of His response, but be open to the little signs that are all around you.

May God's peace be with you.


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RE: Can I ask this here?

Bill I loved your analogy about the present in the closet. It is so true. I have felt in the months after losing my dad that I lost my faith. I felt so cold and empty, like I didn't feel anything towards God. I was just so blown away by the circumstances surrounding his death and I still am. I have kept myself so busy that I haven't given myself time to think about everything. I guess now I'm kind of moving to a stage of acceptance and it's all so sad. I don't want to do it alone. I long for God's presence. I don't expect answers, but I need peace and comfort. I've just started to return to church and prayer. Each sermon I hear is spoken directly for me it seems. It's still much easier to just not communicate with God at all but I feel better when I try. I just used to have such a close walk with God, or so I thought. Maybe I've just put (more like thrown) my gift from him into my closet. I think now I'm at least willing to take a look at it again.


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RE: Can I ask this here?

Thanks for all the replies, it's tough sometimes to keep the "faith" or whatever name you want to give it. I was an adamant believer in heaven my whole life until now. I just don't know anymore what to believe. I am not looking for signs just a peacefull feeling to know every one is OK.
I love life and the gifts I have and never have taken them for granted.
I guess I will keep looking in the closet Bill! Thanks
Ronnie


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RE: Can I ask this here?

Ronnie i think everyone questions their faith when you lose someone. for me, when my father, my best friend, died suddenly, i was so angry with God. how could he possibly take a man like this from the ones who needed him and loved him the most? how could God take my father yet leave the scum of the earth walking around to harm, abuse, rob, murder...etc. it did not make sense and my anger and resentment took quite sometime for me to learn to manage my feelings. it did take me some time to make peace with my feelings, and to make peace with God. But it did happen and i do feel like it was his will and i found comfort in believing that He needed help above and my dad was the golden choice at that time. Oddly, when my dear mother died almost exactly a year later, i found comfort in believing she was with my dad. she was never happy after he left. I think our faith allows us to question these things, but it also allows us to make peace eventually. at least it did for me. i felt that i also received signs along the way that dad was ok and that he was happy. but it was God who helped me make peace with His decision.

deb


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oh my goodness ronnie17, what awesome replies!! when you hear strangers speak so eloquently and wonderfully of God how could you ever doubt the power..the people that we meet here, at this site, are so kind! "all you have to do is ask..." good luck to you.., keep the faith!


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My faith has increased...I know that Travis is free and in God's hands...I spoke to a Prieat 2 days after his death because Travis didnt appear to have any beliefs...The Father said to me that God loves all children and on Xmas Eve. Father dedicated the mass to Travis. I know that I'll see him some day...take care OK


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RE: Can I ask this here?

Ronnie, I am so sorry for the pain you are feeling with the loss of your nephew and Dad. Many (me included) have asked the same questions and felt the emptiness which was not answered or filled by faith. I am happy and respectful of those who can find comfort in their faith, but many cannot. There is an infinite number of paths through the jungle of grief, faith is but one. I hope you can find a measure of peace as you find your own path.


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