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dennis_d

Losing My Dad and Sister

dennis_d
18 years ago

I lost my dad 3 years ago to cancer. The cancer was a result of the imnosuppresant drugs he needed to take following a kidney transplant a few months earlier. I feel very lucky that I was the one able to donate a kidney to my dad, but dealing with his death has not been easy, to say the least! Everything happened so fast, that 3 years later alot of it stills seems like a blur. My father had many heart problems which resulted in him receiving a heart transplant over 15 years ago. Immediately after his death, I felt alot of guilt and selfishness because things didn't work out as my family had hoped. Talk about a roller coaster of emotions. Eventually as the pain subsided, I realized how lucky we were to have my father alot longer

than we should have, even if things ended the way they did. Getting a new heart was a miracle, and that really gets me through the tough times.

I thought I had reached a good place and things were really getting back to normal, if that's possible. Then 2 months ago, my sister was killer in a car accident. She was 37 years old and the mother of 3 children. Not only have I had to deal with the loss of my sister, who I was very close to(especially these last couple years), but I have also noticed that many of the pain from my fathers death has come back to the surface. Is this normal? Right now it feels like this is going to be much harder to handle b/c it's almost like dealing with 2 deaths at once. My sister's death happened so suddenly, that it really took a good month to sink in. This last month has been difficult for my family. I'm really writing this to get things off my chest. Not sure why it makes me feel better, but it does. And knowing that others have the same feelings is also very comforting. I pray for everyone that has had to deal with losing a loved one.

-Dennis

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