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i made it through the year

Posted by heydeborah (My Page) on
Sun, Feb 24, 08 at 0:47

well yesterday was the first anniv. of us losing Al. i really didn't think that i would make it at times, it has been so hard, and even thought he was bed ridden for 10 years i miss him every second. my car was in the shop on friday morning and i was telling the cab driver that i have been a widow for a whole year and went on to tell him how everyone loved my Al, and a little about him. he told me sincerely how lucky i was and that when his time came that people would speak about him the way i did. my (or is it still our) son and i went and left him yellow roses, something he always brought home for me. our daughter won't come to the cemetery with me, she say that she can see his grave site from the street on the way to the university. i think that Al would be proud of us, learning to do different things like painting, plumbing, putting in new lamin. flooring. but all in all life still sucks big time.

ps it's really warm here - about 18 degrees! way up north!


Follow-Up Postings:

RE: i made it through the year

Hi Debbie, I think your Al would be very proud of you, and I truly believe he IS very proud of you and your accomplishments. A year sometimes feels so short and so long at the same time. Does that make any sense?

Since it's up to 18 are you putting on some shorts and heading to the beach :-)

Hang in there. One day at a time.


RE: i made it through the year

Greetings from Canada where, yesterday it was 30 degrees but not today it's -25 but it's getting lighter out now and the sun doesn't set until 6:30 or so and gas is now 118.9 cents a litre!
yes Duane it does make alot of sense i was at the doctor's last week and he told me that it takes about 2 years to feel "normal" again. it is so strange not having to hurry here there and everywhere to get back home when we go out. one thing my kids told me that i was not to go out by myself without one of them, this was something they promised their dad and they, so far has also followed this wish. our son said he saw his dad on saturday nite, he said he walked over to a chair and sat down and watched him play a video game (Al was a double above the knee amputee), i told Matthew (son) that he was lucky that that happened to him and i wished it was me.(sorry, i'm getting myself all teary now)he said that it was like he was really,really there.
Duane, we used to do the we made it through the morning, make it through the afternoon and made it through the nite, not one day! so i guess we all really cope the same!


RE: i made it through the year

Debbie, it will be a year (April 17th) since I lost my husband, the love of my life and my best friend - to pancreatic cancer - he was 54 yeras old.

It truely is devastating, even yet today! I just went to the cemetary this afternoon to replace some flowers on his grave site wreath - it is SO DIFFICULT to accept that he is in that grave!

I'm like you - it's getting through one morning, one afternoon, one night at a time. I still have vivid dreams of him - my heart breaks anew each day - I miss him so much and would give anything I own just to hold him once more.

Gary, I love you!!

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