How to live after the death of a spouse
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11 years ago
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luvstocraft
11 years agolast modified: 9 years agoUser
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sudden death of spouse
Comments (7)Support comes in many different forms. Do what YOU feel is right for you. How other people work through grief may or not work for you. Hopefully coming here will be a start. I am very sorry for your loss...there is no "good" age to die, and even if it is expected, it still stings. A sudden loss like that of your husband is a shock to the system to say the least. Be gentle & kind to yourself...it is very early in the grieving process for you. Be patient to yourself, there is no set time limit to work through. Did you have children or have other family? You are already beginning to heal, by coming here and being at work, but it is not something that "get over", more like as learning to "live with" it. Please let us know how you're doing. Again, sorry for your loss....See MoreDating again after losing a spouse
Comments (5)Hello, well leonard has been gone for almost 11 months and I cant even imagine dating someone else. I have also not taken off my ring and I even get angry when people talk to me like hes not here anymore. But I am very sentimental and I feel like I am only 30 and was only 29 and will be a single girl until I meet him in heaven , But on the other hand I know of two ladies who are very close to me who have both tried to move on after they lost their husbands and they are different situations. My friend judy waited about 3 years and was reluctant to date again but larry kept on pushing and finally she gave in. he was a friend of her husbands and has taken very good care of her. My sister in law is another story she started talking to guys shortly after her husband passed but in her situation she did it for the wrong reasons. She did it because she was lonley and didnt like to be alone. And 3 years later you still see her put her rings back on and has never taken pictures down , she talkes about him alot to this day also, so I guess what im trying to say is he is always going to love her and she is always going to be part of his life and trying to make him forget about her or rush him to is not going to work if he still talkes about her that much and has not taken off his ring then he is not ready to move on. Im sorry if this is not good news for you but you can remain friends and maybe in the future when he is ready you will be there for him. I hope this helps you. Tracy...See MoreLife after a death
Comments (4)Hooray for you!!!! So very happy you were able to get past your loss. Too many people get trapped in the past and can't move on. Life is to be enjoyed and celebrated, no matter what gets thrown our way. My heartfelt wishes to you in your new life. May it be long and happy!!! - Ellen...See MoreDifferences with spouse on where to live following retirement
Comments (11)I think you might try figuring out what you want your retirement to look like. Do you want to live near the beach, in a big city, in the country, mountains, in an over 55 community? Do you want to play golf a few times a week, or do you prefer visiting museums, or going on hikes? Is living near family a must or are you happy to fly or drive to visit a few times a year? Are you living in a high cost area and can you afford it in retirement or would moving to a low cost state ease you financially? I think writing down what is important to you can help clarify things.....cost of living, climate, access to good healthcare, activities, etc. I think the only way I would follow my kids would be if they or grand kids had a disability or something and they needed extra help on an ongoing basis. Would you want to live in an area you dislike just to be near the kids or family? And, as stated, job transfers happen...are you going to follow them every time?.....moving is expensive, finding new doctors, etc... We have the opposite dilemma. We're not retired yet but will be in a few years( I will go before DH). It looks pretty sure that two of our three kids will stay in this area..they are happy in pretty secure jobs. Do we move AWAY from them to a lower cost area, better climate, etc? They get a little upset when we talk about leaving, but they are busy and we don't see them every week anyway. Plus, as we age, I don't want to burden them with having to take care of us when they will have their own families to worry about. It's a lot to consider. Maybe you and your husband should pick a place where there isn't family that you both like and travel to visit each side. That's a fair compromise since it sounds like you won't be happy living near your step kids and he won't be happy living near your family....See Moremav63_2007
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