The book your friend was reading was Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver. A great book, and the family has kept going, posting more recipes and resources at their website. I like the way she calls this time of year "Tomato Season." This weekend I went with my professor to Western Massachusetts. We visited my uncle, and I made a potato salad with what he had in the fridge -- new potatoes, hardboiled eggs, celery, red pepper, radishes, green beans, capers, shallots, scallions, mayonnaise, mustard. Added some olive oil too. My uncle had picked up fresh corn and tomatoes from a local farm stand so we sliced and salted the tomatoes, and just boiled the corn -- didn't even need butter. We added some fresh mesclun to the plate and ate it all up, and boy was it good. We felt good for hours afterwards. Good fresh local (except for the olive oil and capers, which are from southern regions) food. Watermelon for dessert. Ahhhh. Here is a link that might be useful: Animal Vegetable Miracle

Hi Debbie, you sure did do good getting through the holiday season. The first year is the hardest I think. Nothing is as it should be. That was very sweet of you to give those folks gas money to get home. You were their angels in disguise, and I truly believe what goes around comes around and you will be doubly blessed for your kindness. I have a tape of my mom which I put on cassette from one of the messages on my phone voicemail when she was in the hospital 22 days before she passed away. Her message: 'Hi honey, I've been waiting and waiting for you to call and you haven't. I'm worried about you. I'm fine. Call me if you get this message. Bye, sweetheart.' I pull that out and play it every now and then. That was my mom. She was in the hospital in very bad condition...and she was worried about ME. Two years Jan.30 and it feels like two days....not two years. Take care everybody. Duane

Greetings jampack, Thank you for your generous comments. I absolutely, completely agree with you about "reinventing" ourselves. I call it creating a new life using the strengths from the "beloved life" or just simply "the past." We can view the beloved life but we cannot participate in it anymore, so take the strength of the beauty of the memories and the great love shared and heal the pain of grief and move into creating a new life. What really encouraged me in always moving forward in my healing from the pain of grief was to take care with my thoughts and my self-talk. What I think, I create. My thoughts become things. If I think something will be horrible........guess what, it WILL definitely be horrible!! Or, "I will never get through this, I am destined to suffer from now until I die." But, if my thoughts go like this: "This will be a difficult situation for me and I will experience deep pain (or agony, discomfort, embarrassment, fear, etc) but I know with great faith, I will get through this and be stronger for the journey." The situations and events that this can be applied to are endless. But it must be used fervently. It doesn't have to even be believed at first. But practice, practice, practice. Write the phrase down and carry it with you. Having been a consummate, professional horse trainer for over 30 yrs, I used those very skills to train myself to heal. In training horses, compassion, kindness and positivity are the greatest tools for success; and, the successes are measured in tiny increments....tiny steps. When one is in the throes of the most horribly, painful feelings of their entire life, DON'T STOPKEEP MOVING!!! I have heard countless times when I share my story at grief seminars, "When my spouse (child, parent, sibling) died, I died with them and my life has ended." Now, this is 100% true, but only to the extent that the life with the deceased has ended. Then, too, a large percentage of those folks refuse to/don't know how to create a new life. It is common for these folks and fellow grievers to feel that by torturing themselves with as much pain as they can inflict on themselves, they are honoring their beloved departed one. But, just sit back for a moment and do a "what if" scenario. What if you, yourself, died, was killed, committed suicide, or whatever, would you want your family and loved ones to stay in a painful, morose, joyless, depressed agony for the rest of their time on this earth; day after day, year after year???? I absolutely wouldn't. I would pray that they transplant themselves into a wonderful new life to experience once again joy, happiness and love. I have heard the cry, "Will I always feel this way?" or "Will the pain EVER go away?" My answer is a resounding, jubilant YES, YES, YES!!! The pain will recede when you choose to let go of it; but, only if you choose to heal the pain of grief. You must decide for yourself, "Am I clinging to the pain because if I let it go I will lose the love for my beloved or they will forget about me or I will forget about them?????" I can assure you with all of my heart that if you stop clinging and release the grip on what can never be, you will experience the closeness of what can be. (I feel such a warm, loving, close relationship with my Michael, now.) Do you always want to feel "this way?" It is your choice!! Everyone heals at their own pace. Consider it to be like planting a seed. It seems like forever before the little seedling pops through the soil and starts growing towards the energy of the sun, to blossom and grow to grandeur. But, we must keep watering it even if we don't see it yet. So goes our healing. The mind is critical and sharp, with a tendency to focus on what's wrong, rather than appreciating what's right. When you have gone SO far that you can't manage ONE MORE STEP!---------------------Remember, you have gone just half the distance you are capable of. Turquoise

Do you know the name of the manufacturer? If so, I would write to them explaining your problem. Attach copies of sales slips etc. Look on the bottom of the frame or on the cushion deck and see if there is a tag with the factory order number. Request that they send you replacement legs in the desired finish. I bet you will receive them in a couple of weeks.