My mother just died on Thanksgiving night. Most of the cards we got arrived within the first 2 weeks. That's the time you want your friends and family letting you know you're in their thoughts. Once you get past the funeral, and are starting to try to move on, getting a card kind of throws you back into that period of high grief, and while you appreciate it, it sort of pulls you down and depress you all over again. I've always sent sympathy cards within the week of the death--assuming I find out about it right away. The only way I think you would send a card much later would be if you didn't learn of the death until much later.

I would send the card to both of them and address the envelope as usual (no need to change based on who was closer related IMO). I sent a sympathy card to a co-worker in this situation (I had never even met her husband) and I did put his name on the card too... but the comments inside the card I directed to her... sorry to hear about the loss of your mother, etc (For example, I didn't say MIL) but I still did include both names. Not sure if that's the correct way, but that's what I felt comfortable with.

Alrighty! *S* The card was made using a sheet from a wallpaper sample book (neat idea,huh?) and this is the front of it. This is the inside with the page from a Hymnal. In all honesty, I think I could have done better, but it DID give me some ideas!*S* Funny think is, I don't have a clue who the person is that sent it! lol She signed her name and initals under it! Took me a bit to figure THAT out..but it's the Church where Ronnie and I got married. Uh...I haven't attended that Church in over 40yrs!

thanks everyone for your condolences. we are totally devastated. my sister, her DH & DD will never be the same. we have a long, difficult road ahead of us. i guess i should clear this up a little. we did not send thank-you's for sympathy card, eg. hallmark card. we sent them to people who sent mass cards, which have to be paid for, food, flowers and donations made in his name. the out-pouring was AMAZING!! we are so grateful. i agree, no thank you necessary for sympathy card. *usually* you get a notice that a donation was made in that person's memory. we received them for my mom 3 years ago and they are getting them for their son. FWIW, the organization should definitely let the family know how much and from whom they received it from. thanks again everyone!