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toobadsmom

cremation & scatter of remains

toobadsmom
15 years ago

My son died ten years ago. His body was creamated because that is always what he said he would want. His younger brother says he and his brother promised long ago that if one died before the other that the survivor would scatter the ashes of the deceased in the river. I as mother of both sons have not been able to comply with this 'scatter' wish. I can't just throw my darling son in the river. The other son is still grieving deeply over this. He barely speaks to me and will not come out to visit. His wife now says he is still having nightmares and wakes up crying because he feels he has not kept his promise to his brother. I on the other hand feel just as despondent, if not more so, and want to keep the remains here at my home where they are in a special made wooden container made especially for this purpose and shipped here from Pakistan. I don't think I can let the brother scatter the ashes. Has anyone ever done this with a loved one--most especially a child? Can it be overcome.

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