Am I wrong to refuse to change dirty diapers?
mizzy
23 years ago
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Allan
23 years agogayle
23 years agoRelated Discussions
Milk jugs - what am I doing wrong?
Comments (17)Pixie Lou if you want more milk jugs go to Starbucks and grab a bag from their dumpster. Even when an employee is out back they just ask what I will use them for from curiosity. Sometimes they will help me get the good bags (I am very short). Last year I got whatever they had and most were smashed. You can make them right again by filling with hot water. This year I just take the ones that look good. I usually get 9 or 10 good ones in a bag. I try not to get more than I know I want to deal with that day. There is always some other trash in the bag so when I get home I just pull out the jugs and rinse them off. Don't wait too long to rinse them out or it will be harder and smell bad. The dumpster, believe it or not is not dirty or smell bad. It smells like coffee and chocolate! After using many different containers last year I found milk jugs to be the best. More head room and easy to pick up and move if you need to- or just to peek inside. Don't get frustrated getting them ready. Do a few a night while watching tv. I use a box cutter to make drainage holes. I make four triangular holes. Then I use a rubber band to mark where I want to cut and make a line with a sharpie. Make a start with the box cutter, then it's easy to cut around to your handle-hinge. Try everything till you find a method that works for you. Have fun....See MoreHelp, GrandParents! Am I wrong as a Parent?
Comments (4)My children are older now, not babies or children, but I had the same ideas as you when they were little - limited tv, limits on sugary snacks and sweet drinks, breast feeding, etc. And, like you, my mom laughed or ignored some of them. Fast forward 20 years later, my mom appreciates the way I raised my children and she understands now why I made the choices I did. I am very, very glad I had the rules I did when my kids were young - I was right and I'm glad I held my ground. None of your choices sound extreme to me - limiting sugary snacks, limiting t.v., wanting a schedule and more time just the 3 of you, no trip to the beach at 4 months old - those are all reasonable choices. Cheri is right, your parenting ideas will change as your daughter grows. And she is right, your parents have things to contribute as grandparents. But that doesn't mean that you have to raise your children according to your parents' priorities and wishes. However, keep in mind a few things - whenever you talk about the way you want to raise your kids differently - many grandparents would see that as a criticism of how they raised you, their own child. Before you phrase things, think about how they might come across to your parents as implying that their methods were lacking. Also, be sure and make it a point to mention to your parents what they did right. My mom and I have different ideas about television, putting coke in baby bottles, etc., but my mom is also the person who taught me that when things look hopeless you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and work as hard as you can to change things. That is a gift she gave me infinitely more precious than riches or even education. Be sure and tell your parents what things they taught you that you will pass on to your children. Another suggestion that worked for us is that I told my mom that my husband wanted those rules. My mom simply ignored my rules if they were my rules, but she thinks my husband hung the moon and should have whatever he wants, so she (sometimes) listened if she thought it was my husband's wish. She did whatever she dang well pleased if it was just something I wanted. If my mom was particularly stubborn, my husband told her himself that he wanted it that way. Another thing that works well (with grandparents and babies) is to redirect. If your mom wants to take the baby somewhere, tell her no, now is not a good time, but this weekend would be great, how about then. Or if she wants to give the baby icing, tell her no, but baby loves sweet potatoes, why don't you give her that. Grandparents love to see "firsts" - first bite of chocolate, first time at the beach. Tell your parents, no, you can't take her to the beach this year, but when she's 2 you can take her and be there for her first time. You are being more than reasonable to limit tv, unhealthy snacks, limit visits to less frequently than daily or every other day, and set the expectation of higher education for your children early. Your mother is right, your daughter will express preferences of her own one day in education, food, hobbies, etc. That is still no reason not to set your standards high. If you are raising your daughter significantly different than the way you were raised, it will take years for your parents to change their minds. But when they see your daughter as a teenager, healthy and maintaining a healthy weight, doing well in school, winning awards and doing whatever extracurriculars (sports, violin, girl scouts, dance, whatever rings her bell), trust me, your parents will tell you you did your job well. I want to address something else cheri mentioned - her daughter's desire to use organic food, use cloth diapers, read to her children daily (I heartily endorse the part about reading to your children daily, by the way). The drive to be the best mom she could possibly be was strong in cheri's daughter, and even if her daughter changed her ways, she still probably has a strong drive to do her best. That drive should be honored, respected, and as much as reasonable should be indulged by grandparents. The realities of life will knock some practicality into the heads of young parents - let them have their dreams and give it their best shot. When my oldest was a baby my mother-in-law told me this, "In every young mother's life there comes a time when she has to look at her mother and say, 'Mother, you raised your kids the way you wanted, now it's my turn to raise my kids the way I want'." Be loving, be kind, include and affirm the grandparents, and let the grandparents have their way when it isn't important to you. But stand your ground with kindness on the things that matter. Everything you're asking for is reasonable and healthy for your child....See Morewhat am i doing wrong with my offer????
Comments (18)xamsx-Thank you so much for the advice. I think she has been in business so long in this town, no one has come to her with their own agent. I did sign the dual agency paper. I do have my own real estate attorney. Any inspector, appraiser etc she has reccomended I refused to use and went out of town for them and the roofer and the masonary contractor etc..and the seller being a trial attorney has refused to sign a disclosure form, so that is why I am also so adement on the inspection etc..when this agent saw the oil tank pipes coming out of the ground, she said not to worry they are fine. NOT I had my inspector go over everything then I had some enviromental company come out, now the seller has had them removed and the dirt around it, new oil tanks are in the basement and a certificate was given to the seller that the grounds are ok and negative of any oil spillage etc that will go to me if we should be the ones that get to purchase the home. Also the seller had some black box with a red light with a screetching noise coming out of it plugged in the upstairs hallway, we looked at the house 3 times and all 3 times we asked what is that thing? Agent said she didnt know? Inspector took one look at it and said "Oh thats to keep the bats out of the second floor" HUH??? So right from the get go I could clearly see the agent wasnt going to tell me other than what I could see about the house 7 bedrooms, 31/2 baths, office, den, lvg room, dinning room, kitchen and 3 car garage...the rest of the findings good or bad was going to be left up to me.. We will wait and see what the counter is, put in our best offer and then call it a day...Thank you again for all of your amazing help!!!...See MoreWhat am I doing right/what am I doing wrong?
Comments (28)My thanks to all of you who posted comments, both good and bad. I can't begin to tell you how feedback about my florals opened my eyes, so I was able to change things for my next set of photos. I'd never think that removable "props" would turn someone off. I also have to say that you're taking it well and seem to appreciate the feedback. Those of us selling can now see our house through strangers eyes and what a potential buyer might think when seeing our house online. How the photos look will dictate whether they take the time to actually walk our houses. The last time our house was for sale we did not get any feedback, so I'm very thankful for this forum and hope that the feedback you got helps you. I noticed that the wallpaper in my home got some of the most frequent and critical remarks and it's left me wondering about something. Is wallpaper no longer in vogue in new or remodeled homes or is it that my particular wallpaper is not to the liking of most of you? I've walked a lot of new communities with model homes and can say that here they are still using wallpaper but not in all of the rooms. You might pick the nicest rooms to keep the wallpaper. I love the foyer wallpaper but not with the door color and not with the flooring. You might think to leave some of it up and paint other walls, using it as an accent. Back entrance wallpaper - I would take it down. Half bath - I like the wallpaper but not with the light fixture. Study - I've seen similar paper used in homes I've walked. Utility - dislike the walls - would sheet rock & paint 1st floor master - would paint 1st floor master bath - I like the paper but not for a room like this. I would paint and think about putting up beadboard 2nd floor master - while I like the top paper, I think it would look better painted. The wood on the door is much too dark. I'd also think about putting up a scarf on the windows, then opening the blinds for the photo. While I like pink, others do not :( Second floor vanity/dressing area - this paper you could get away with leaving. Bath 2, second floor - I would try to lighten this room up or leave the picture out. Living Room - I would paint this I also realize that the paneled family room is dated but my thoughts on that is to either paint the paneling a neutral color or rip off the paneling, put up sheetrock and then paint. I also want to install engineered wood flooring in that room and perhaps extend it in to the foyer where, I admit, the tile color is also dated. Another area of critical comments was due to my home having so much carpeting. Has carpeting also gone out of style or do I just have too many rooms with carpet? We just did this in the master bedroom. I would sheet rock. The carpet wouldn't bother me here. I'm one of the weird ones that actually likes carpet, especially for my bad back. Walking on wood floors kills me. BTW, the Saint Bernard that appeared in at least one photo and brought about a comment or two that some people wouldn't even consider buying a home where a dog had been passed away on June 10 much to my hurt. I'm in the process of cleaning up all traces of his presence here. That is, everywhere but in my heart! Very sorry for your loss. After 22 years, I still miss our German Shepherd....See MoreTamara
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