skip to main content

question

22 years ago

I have a 14 yr old daughter...she was the frist grandchild on both sides of the family.

and I get told by my husbands parents that she is the favorite..the special one because she was the frist born.... this really hurts the other kids...does anyone else here feel the same..and why?

Sort by:Oldest

Comments (10)

SheliaNC
22 years ago
I have a 2 yr. old granddaughter and a 5 yr. old step grandson. I love both of them with all of my heart and I try not to make any difference in either one of them. However there is a special bond there in my heart for my granddaughter since she is my first born grandchild. I would in no way ever tell this to either one of my grandchildren.
Anon_msn_com
22 years ago
My son was the first born in MIL,s family and she ended up having 21 grandkids. She loved them all equally but, she always told my son he was her favorite. I have 2 grandsons, 14 months apart (same parents) and yes there is a special bond with the first one. However, they will never know it, one is my favorite blue-eyed boy and the other is my favorite brown-eyed boy.
Related Discussions
Coleus questions, questions, questions......
Q
Comments (12)
Marguerite, I purchased all my Coleus from one mailorder nursery (in 2004 and 2005) but pretty sure they were pestfree when received...especially as I kept them all near sofa the first few days so I could admire them...LOL They spent all summer on my patio so probably picked up mealybugs (or eggs) there. I think I've found part of the answer...attached article says Coleus very susceptible but constant inspection and washing can prevent infestation and spread if caught early. Also, I just had 3-4 little mealybugs...not all over the stems as I've seen in photos (shudder!) Another thing the article recommended was growing potplants inside house a little dry and using less fertilizer. In winter I just "maintain" my plants, not try to grow them...and I never use fertilizer (although some may be in some of potting soil I buy). My house is kept between 66-68 degrees F days and cooler still at night so they sort of go into hibernation mode. So maybe I was doing the right thing inadvertently. I'd always felt fortunate not to have had pests on my tropicals indoors...I think possibly my method of brisk thorough shower and watering well and then letting pot dry out a good bit was, in addition to catering to my laziness, a good insect preventative...LOL Of course when outside they get thorough spray/watering every other day...temps in 90's all summer here. But they flourish and grow so well they don't mind the lower light, cooler temps and reduced water in winter inside. Oh, the one Coleus that got the mealybugs was 'Klondike', orange-red leaves with yellow edge. Iside house it fades to a soft copper-pink but still nice. josh Here is a link that might be useful: Mealybug Life Cycle & Prevention
...See More
vermi-composting and worms: questions, questions, questions
Q
Comments (1)
Hi, welcome to worm farming. I've been doing it for about a year now. Questions are good, and lead to learning more. Hope we can help out. 1. They like it best at 70, but thats not to say you can't keep them in a place that is hotter or colder. I have a bin outside, were it is 100+ during the summer and as low as 0 during the winter, and it is very active. 2. Thats a big bin. How many worms do you have? I would worry about how much air they get if you have the doors on. You would want it covered, but the fridge is made to hold air in, so if you keep the lid on, give it plenty of holes for fresh air flow. 3. Grass clippings are fine, but they can heat up. I would use in moderation. I will bag mine up every now and then, and use in my regular compost pile. Leaves, newspaper, veggie scraps make up most of my worms food and bedding. 4. As stated with the grass clippings, they heat up, so your worms could be escaping the heat. when things cool off they may find their way back. Don't let any mistakes now make you think twice about what you are trying to do. This is a great thing to do, you'll make mistakes and learn from them. Once you get it down, it is easy. You just have to learn what works best for you.
...See More
Questions, questions, questions....
Q
Comments (10)
Question 1. Dead heading a flowering plant all depends on the plant. As debndal stated removing spent flowers only if you don't want seeds from the plant or don't dead head annuals so they can reseed. Dead heading something like a geranium you would cut it all the way back to the stem that the flower is growing on. Something like sweet williams (Dianthus barbatus) you can sit there and dead head each spent flower or you can shear it back with scissors which is easier and faster. If it is a lily only cut off the flower head and leave the stem because this is what the plant gets energy from for next years growth. Then there are some plant I just let the flower fall off the plant, like rose of sharons. As you can see there are many ways to dead head so if you need know how to dead head a certain plant you'd have to ask how to dead head it. Question 2. Debndal answered this one Question 3. I'm with debndal I didn't know HD had online orders but think I'd prefer going to a nursery. Question 4. I agree beans are very easy and fast. My grand son had a project he was doing in kindergarten with beans I showed him that planting one of the beans it would grow. Everyday when he came home he'd look to see if the bean had sprouted and on the day that it came up he was delighted and though mamaw was magic LOL. BTW, No question is silly as was stated we all went through asking questions.
...See More
Kitchen sink- kitchen faucet - questions questions questions
Q
Comments (2)
I can only answer from a man's point of view so Im sure there will be many differing opinions about the faucet difference but I would not want a faucet that just poured water straight down the drain. There might be a splash factor but when I think of rinsing dishes, as an example, the water pouring into the sink is rinsing the sink and other dishes as it runs. Additionally if you are filling the sink to wash a few dishes or other items, the water aimed at the sink will start the dilution of your soap more readily of it is playing off the sink bottom as opposed to the drain. Before I mention names of online suppliers that offer free shipping I feel it necessary, because of a recent accusation, to say that I am reasonably well known for a blogsite I maintain that is sponsored by National Builder Supply. I am not an employee, do not own it (I wish I did) nor am I paid (the owner is a good friend and I give him credit on the blog site because he does a great job and Im a satisfied customer). I am disabled retired accountant with parkinsons and I pass my days by writing the blog and reading and participating in over 30 discussion groups such as Garden Web and just enjoy helping folks. With that said there are many sites that give free shipping on merchandise, including NBS, but most have a requirement for a certain purchase amount usually $100 to $199. Watch the sights carefully because the prices can seem low but by the time you get done with your shopping the freight if not free at some level can make the price exorbitant. Now so that it will be obvious that I am not prejudiced to just NBS, my experience level and the retailers that I hear the most good about that have these free shipping policies are NBS, FaucetDirect, E Faucets. Im sure there are many more and you will probably be swamped with other suggestions but I believe reputation wise those 3 are the best. And no I also am not employed nor own any of the other 2 either...LOL
...See More
bettygay50_yahoo_com
22 years ago
Please have a talk with your husband's parents and ask them kindly to "drop the favorite" word. As horrible as this sounds there are many adults still carrying around the feelings of hearing "so and so was the favorite".

The posting above by Anon@msn.com is the absolute best answer I have ever read!!! The wisdom is in the last sentence. Suggest to your husband's parents that they adopt this attitude and put words to it about each of their grandchildren.

Grandchildren are truly a blessing from above and a fantastic reward for a job well done!!!
PattyC
22 years ago
I have 6 grandkids and ,yes, the first one, my grandson, is the most dear to my heart. But I would never tell anyone. It would hurt too many feelings.
mommyof09
Original Author
22 years ago
I guess I just don't understand it.
Maybe I will when I have grandchildren.
But.... I don't have favorites among my children.
I love them all the same but differantly for the way they are.
It just hurts to hear from Megan(the 2nd grandchild) that grandma loves Erica more or Pappy buys stuff for Erica and takes her everywhere but not me.
Megan cries.
I just don't understand them,,,how could they do that to Megan?....I've told them what Megan saids and they just cuss Megan about it.
So- I don't say nothing anymore to them.
Thanks for all the comments!!!
tomsmom22
22 years ago
When I was little I loved my great grandma more than anyone in the world--she was MY favorite, until my cousin came along. My mom remembers me asking her "why didn't grandma come to see me first" and I really took it hard, b/c I could see the differences after my cousin was born. She got more attention, more "stuff" and I wasn't getting it anymore. Now, I know that she loves me and she'd never do anything outright to hurt my feelings by making a difference, she just doesn't realize it, and I had to realize that in order for it not to affect me. Hope that made sense.

On the other side of this, I have one son and I couldn't imagine my parents loving another child as much as they love him now. Nor could I see my inlaw's loving another grandchild any more. There's something about first born's, at least in most cases. :)
Dutchvrouw_aol_com
22 years ago
I worried about this very thing when our second grandchild was on the way. I was amazed and delighted to find I love each grandchild intensely. We now have seven. I love each one of them the BEST and I could tell you 20 reasons why each one of them is the most magnificent child you could ever imagine. I can't imagine telling any of them, "You're my favorite," however.
Binkie
22 years ago
I have 2 grandsons. I'd never tell but the parents just "know." The birth of my first grandson was the happiest day of my life. He was extraordinarily beautiful and small.
I held him for half an hour before my DD ever held him.
I actually wanted to steal him; I am serious. I hated to hand him over but knew I had to. I do not know how I ever slept that night I was so excited I was wound up tight as a drum. He is so charismatic, beautiful and intelligent (but not as cute as his first year)! LOL Family members, at various times, have expressed the desire to adopt him when my DD has acted up. He is So Special. binkie
mommyof09
Original Author
22 years ago
Thanks for all the comments/stories and opinions.
I just hope that I never feel like my frist grandchild is more special then the others..cause that is not the way it should be.
All grand babies are special ..frist or lasted.
I don't know.... I guess I'll have to have another LONG talk with the grandma.
twoinunion_yahoo_com
22 years ago
I have a granddaughter & a grandson. I was in the delivery room with both & I feel a very strong connection with both of them. I love them with all my heart. My granddaughter was firstborn. She gets alot of the attention now because she is older & my grandson is still a baby. But pretty soon that will change & they will both get the same amount of attention that they deserve.

Related Stories

SELLING YOUR HOUSE 15 Questions to Ask When Interviewing a Real Estate Agent

By Laura Gaskill

Here’s what you should find out before selecting an agent to sell your home

WORKING WITH PROS 12 Questions Your Interior Designer Should Ask You

By Mike Dietrich

The best decorators aren’t dictators — and they’re not mind readers either. To understand your tastes, they need this essential info

WORKING WITH PROS 10 Questions to Ask Potential Contractors

By Ventana Construction LLC

Ensure the right fit by interviewing general contractors about topics that go beyond the basics

MOST POPULAR 8 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Meeting With Your Designer

By Kelli Kaufer Designs

Thinking in advance about how you use your space will get your first design consultation off to its best start

REMODELING GUIDES 13 Essential Questions to Ask Yourself Before Tackling a Renovation

By Affecting Spaces Design Studio

No one knows you better than yourself, so to get the remodel you truly want, consider these questions first

7 Questions for Design Superstars

By Annie Thornton

Share Your Know-How Now on The Houzz Questions Board

COFFEE WITH AN ARCHITECT A Quiz for Architects in Question

By Jody Brown Architecture, pllc

Should you trade in your T-square for a barista tray? Answer a few simple questions to find out

Design Dilemmas: 5 Questions for Design Stars

By Annie Thornton

Share Your Design Know-How on the Houzz Questions Board

Easy Green: 6 Must-Answer Questions Before You Buy

By Laura Gaskill

Thinking about buying ecofriendly furniture? For a truly environmentally conscious home, ask yourself these questions first

FEEL-GOOD HOME The Question That Can Make You Love Your Home More

By Laura Gaskill

Change your relationship with your house for the better by focusing on the answer to something designers often ask

Sponsored

Dream Baths by Kitchen Kraft

12 Reviews

Your Custom Bath Designers & Remodelers in Columbus I 10X Best Houzz