Chiming in to say 1) probably yes because you are female (not necessarily just because you are young) 2) we have a problem in our society in general of poor workmanship and lack of ethics as well Advice: 1) do a lot of research before getting your bids and signing a contract--this site has been very helpful to me, as well as asking neighbors, co-workers, checking with the BBB, doing a google search, etc. 2)Get a good digital camera and take pictures of the entire process-before during and after, and make sure that they know you are documenting. Also document your conversations. Half of these workmen won't blink an eye at lying about what happened, what was done etc. They convince themselves that they are justified in some way. 3) Make sure that you know multiple ways to contact the contractor--phone, email, etc, so you can get around the "I didn't get your message" excuse. 4) If you can have a male around at the time of signing the contract or even the estimate do so. They don't have to be related, just just need to appear like they know something and have an interest in the situation 5) when or if you do have to dispute something, remember that thanks to your documentation and contract, you control the situation and the paycheck (you haven't paid them until you are satisfied, right?) and don't have to put up with it. Continue to state with a friendly-to-neutral voice and demeanor what needs to be fixed and why, and DON'T let the contractor distract you with red herrings (like "I shouldn't have to fix this hole in the wall because you changed the paint color") and excuses ("Grandma was sick") Remember, you don't need them to LIKE you, and they don't care if you like them. About the cabinets: I hope you have some sort of warranty. I would be asking for a refund and opening a complaint with the BBB.

beginner's eye, "...your assuming the person apologizes and accepts your apology. what if they don't. is that the fault of the parent as well..." I'm going to take....fault of the parent out of this equation and provide another example here. Perhaps a non-apology was given. I have an older sister, who I'm estranged from. She was given to periodic calls out of the blue. Usually, she would rage at me, criticize, judge, etc. Sadly, she just could never connect to my feelings. The point is that it was all about her and her feelings. I got used to her negative judgments and criticisms. She was very aggressive, although I'm convinced that she never saw herself as an aggressive person. She always framed me as the problem. Once, at the urging of some therapy group she decided to make another call. By this time I equated all phone calls and every interaction with her as emotionally painful. As charastic of her, she demanded to know why I avoided her. My sister could never, never see how hurtful her behavior was. EVER! Then she said to me, "...If I apologize, will it make things better?" This took me by surprise and there was a long history of her emotional outbursts, anger and denial. I responded saying I guess so. Then she got mad. Then immediately after she made another very telling comment, she said,"I DON'T GET ANY OF THIS." I was in therapy at the time and discussed her non-apology with my therapist and why I felt it was insincere--it was a very telling comment to me. She was apologizing for behavior that she didn't UNDERSTAND, because as she said, "She didn't get any of this." Neither could the rest of my family and the rage, anger and blame continued from them. My response was to distance myself even further. The concept here is that if someone truly doesn't understand how hurtful and destructive their behavior is (and will not own it and don't understand it), then I'm certain that the behavior will continue and there will be repetition. This may not be the best example, but think of a wife-beater who abuses his wife, then profusely apologizes with flowers, gifts and she reconciles. Then he beats her again, even more cruely than the first time. Then her well-meaning friends or relatives say, "she allowed herself to be manipulated, abused," or they may encourage her to "forgive and forget". Plenty of people MINIMIZE emotional abuse and the damage it creates, because unlike physical abuse you can't see it, therefore if you can't see it, it must not exist. I can assure you my estrangement from my sister is NOT TO PUNISH her. It is 100% about PROTECTING MYSELF and PROTECTING my emotions. It is not because I do not want "...resolution/reconciliation/closure/healing". Of course, I want that. I also want change and I want her destructive behaviors to STOP. I want her to demonstrate AWARENESS and I want to be convinced that she UNDERSTANDS why she is apologizing. I'm not interested in prolonging the conflict. I'M NOT INTERESTED IN PROLONGING EMOTIONAL ABUSE with someone who DOESN'T UNDERSTAND my feelings. I am also not looking for perfection of character. Responsibility and awareness, YES. That is what I am looking for. My intest is in preserving some sense of myself and protecting myself. I posted on another thread about the Art of Apologizing.

I understand your situation so well. My boyfriend is ultra touchy about his 5 year old too so I know what it feels like to be in a no win situation. And I've often felt like an intrusion myself. My boyfriend can shout very ugly insults to me as well when it comes to his child. I also understand your disappointment about possibly not having children with your husband. I never considered myself maternal, but I fell so madly for my boyfriend that I actually thought one day it would be great to have a child of our own, but that possbility is very small. He's crazy about his son, but his arrival was not planned and I don't think my boyfriend wants to do it again. There are so many negatives to staying in a situation like that for me that I'm considering cutting my loses as hard as it will be. For you, since you are married and in way deeper than I am (at least legally), I would try counselling. Dealing with three children that are not your own, I can only imagine how overwhelming that is. If your husband won't go with you, then go for yourself. But try to do it with your husband because sometimes people are so clouded by what means so much to them (your husband's children) that they can't see what they're doing until a 3rd party points it out. I know it easier said than done because my boyfriend flat out told me he won't do counselling. It really broke my heart. He's extremely cold at times and it's sad. But even if your husband won't go, you still probably need to go for your own sanity.

Hi everyone. This is the original Dalda nearly 7 years later. Amazing things happen when you have an excellent lawyer who puts things in motion and types up divorce papers under 48 hours. I was finally able to get a divorce. I sent my stepbrother, his wife and nibling on a 6 months full paid vacation. He's too busy, so he took one month off each year to visit each continent except the two poles. LoL. I have set up a educational trust fund for nibling. So nibling can study whatever and wherever nibling wants. Stepbrother is extremely well off on his own, and did not want or need it. But he took care of my lovely mother and wonderful stepfather for years. My stepfathers best friend was my lawyer, stepfather was the man who got down on one knee at 60 years to me and my sister and asked our consent to become family. He knew everything about the inheritance even about the extra millions and kept mumm and guided me, mentored me. Bless him. As for my divorce, ex-H contested it, it dragged on for 8 months, he had a grandchild. Without him being in contact with me or dear daughter for 4 months, we were invited to the birth of the child via a call and text. I promptly congratulated and sent a gift. Then continuously for 2 months me and daughter were bombarded with a few hundred photos of the child. Daughter was completely abandoned by him, distraught and blocked him on all media. Step kids did not remove their possessions even after written notice, I had to pack all their stuff and delivered it to their respective residents via courier service. With proof of delivery and acceptance. I must mention here that ex-h in the end was physically abusive to me. For years I was told I'm too dumb to do a PhD, I wouldn't be able to cope with the family and studies and work. I did not know that he had been funneling money from my account to his for 16 years. He was mentally abusive, which I didn't understand then. But during my daughters therapy sessions I broke down and discussed myself with the therapist and they pointed out exactly how I was being manipulated and brainwashed for 16 years into being under his thumb. They sued me for financial support, mental torture abuse, they WANTED 1 million of the 2 my parents left me, my family heirlooms, access to my house and lost spectacularly. I must write one line from the judges verdict, it went somewhat like this, it seems unfortunate that Mr. X and two of your children have been consumed by greed. You have failed to show one valid reason why you should be granted one cent. As for Mr. X, you should be ashamed as you have forgotten that you have another 15 year old daughter. Daughter and I faced a lot of vile words, threats from ex. He went to her school and tried to force her to sign papers. Tried to make her understand how and why she should share her good windfall. On my 40th birthday, I had a call and had to urgently visit my father's lawyer, telling a shocked and crying me that Instead of 2 million, my inheritance came up to 18 million in total. As my father bless him, left everything he had to me and my sister a few years later, which unknown to us was left to us to be given when we reach 40. I heard from ex-in laws that they flipped. In anger stepdaughter screamed, and broke stuff, ex ranted for days how he should have just sucked up and left his adult kids be, his life would be so much better. Ex got married twice. Him and his son sued me again, and lost, Spectacularly again. At 16 daughter won a full scholarship (she has mama's brains) and went on to an ivy league college with 4 GPA. She's 20 and blooming. With my consent she has set up a trust fund for anonymous merit scholarships for underprivileged students, we also support a local women's shelter for abused women and children. I rented out my house, which was too huge for only two people and moved to a town near her college, was a able to get a much better job in my field, which I did not know I was capable of, went on to do my PhD and Post Doctorate on full merit scholarship, I'm still doing it, it is extremely hard work. And two years later of my divorce I met a wonderful man through my work, my daughter and his daughter. Yes, it's weird. We took it slow, we have been married for two years now. Smooth sailing so far. We both have similar experience with exs and near same financial backgrounds, education. I must mention my amazing stepdaughter gave near same amount to the scholarship fund for underprivileged children from her own business. She has been a positive influence on daughter and guide her like my brother did me and my sister, like a protective wing. We agreed on an airtight prenup. Life is and can be bliss if you have the guts to leave your abusive and greedy mooching partner.