should grandparents be paid for daycare?
Lynnieco
21 years ago
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Comments (52)
mariend
21 years agolast modified: 9 years agosuzieque
21 years agolast modified: 9 years agoRelated Discussions
grandparents trying to adopt - told they have no rights???
Comments (12)This story sounds eerily familiar... My exhusband, father of my DD, has been in and out of jail and rehab (theft and drugs... felonies... wanted in two states) since her birth. He was released from prison in October... he says that the jail took pity on the "light offenders" like him because of the Sept 11 attacks. Since then, he has gotten back into drug dealing, has not held a 'real' job (except for drug dealing, which makes him a great deal of money), has never paid child support for my child, even tried to kidnap her early last year during one of his "vacations" from jail. I filed a criminal summons against him just last week, because of the child support issue; I feel that if he is out of prison, he needs to get a job. Sounds simple to me, but it really p_ssed him off. He called me, screaming, telling me that he will "see me in court", that he is going to take away my rights to my daughter... that I cannot bring in ANY of his records of drug use, his theft charges, even the DUI's that splatter his record. In our original divorce decree it states loud and clear he has to be supervised during visits with my daughter (his mother being the supervisor... can of worms, she is), he is not allowed to drive a car with DD (lost his license anyway)... these things alone, you would think, would make him stop his proceedings against me, but I've been told by his own mother they can prove that THEIR house is better than MY house because they are married, their son lives with them... and I am a "single mother". This is the state of Kentucky, but my hands are pretty much tied. I have an expensive battle coming up for me, to keep my daughter from a drug addicted loser who cannot keep himself from Jail. All because of the Grandmother, who feels her son is "just wanting love from people, just wanting attention". My point to all this is; grandparents do indeed have rights. Several of them. I have been told that during the every-other-weekend visitations that my DD is at their house, they can keep her from me and refuse to give her back to me. Because, "he is the father, he has rights". I tried to prove him "unfit" last year while he was in prison for the theft and drug charges... know what they said? "he has to relinquish rights on his own, you cannot hit him while he's down like this!"... the lawyers and judges said this to me. Makes me wonder why I work so hard, makes me wonder about laws and life in general. Good luck with your situation, the law seems to screw everyone. - darkeyedgirl...See MoreGrandparents Wanting to be Parents
Comments (8)i read every word here because i am having the same problem with my son. again this is an old thread but im hoping it stirs up more attention. i tried to read calmly and not take anything personal because i truly want the situation to improve. and if i look at it honestly, well even tho my son has been kind of difficult i can totally understand feeling this way. when i had him i felt the same way. i didnt even want him to bond with strangers like at the grocery store. it must be a parental thing, you may have even felt it years ago about someone else and just forgot the feeling. hormones i think when it comes to these things should also be taken into account. i dont know about you but im headed for menopause. got all the signs anyway. also your daughters hormones can be off after pregnancy. personally, ive decided to back off and try to encourage their time together rather focusing on the time i want. thats another thing. how much is the baby being attached to you vs you being attached to the baby. i know because again when i look at it honestly i feel a very strong attachment to this child. and like someone said above i believe it could be unhealthy. i have always love babies and worked in a nursery at my church so that i could be around them more. maybe that is something to consider doing again. that way you get your baby fix and your daughter has the time to build the confidence she needs in attaining a strong bond with the baby. i am so fortunate to have stumbled across this site. it really opened my eyes. thanks to everyone for their honesty. it definitely opened my eyes to some things i needed to hear. and i bet once you back off a bit you will have the opportunity to share beautiful bonding experiences with both of them at the same time. peace love and happiness gezzi girl Here is a link that might be useful: my blog...See MoreShould a grandparent be reimbursed for gas expenses?
Comments (6)It would have been much better if you had set perameters when your granddaughter was born, but it's not too late now. I think your daughter is taking advantage of you and you are allowing her to, because you fear losing your granddaughter. I can see that, but I can also see that this is just the tip of the iceburg, and she will take advantage as long as you allow her to. You don't have to have an all out war. Begin with little steps-- When she assumes you are going to babysit tell her you have other plans. Tell her you can no longer afford to meet her. Let her get up earlier and deliver your granddaughter to your door. If she goes for daycare she will soon find out that it is not cheap. I don't know what they charge where you live but here they charge $40 a day, that comes to $200 for a 5 day week. There are not often no spaces left and if there are they only have set times they are open. She will have to find a sitter for the times they just want to go out and babysitter fees are not very cheap either. I think she will soon come to the conclusion she has a sweet deal....See Moreleaving 19 mo old with daycare @ church
Comments (11)Are you with your son all the time? Have you left him before? It's not that your son is too young to be left with someone, some people do it right from 6 weeks so they can go back to work and they're kids are fine. What the problem may be is just that he's so used to being with you that he does have to have that time away. My DS is with me all day and even now at almost 3 when I try to run to the store or whatever he'll start bawling and want to go. It's just because I'm such a major part of his life and he's used to Mommy always being there. It actually helps us the more I get out even if it's just for 10 mins. Kids kind of just have to learn that Mommy will be right back and they'll be fine. Also there aren't too many kids from about a few months up that don't get upset when Mommy and Daddy leave them somewhere. They'll cry and tell you not to go but usually as soon as you leave, they're fine. I'll feel so bad about leaving DS with his grandparents so we can do somewhere and you'll call and they'll say he was fine as soon as we got out the door. It's like a test with them. Even my MIL said about when she helped out at the Elementary School years ago that the children there would do the same things. And TREKaren is right. Most times we dont' realize it as mothers but we make the situation worse. We keep hugging the child and saying it's alright and hang around as long as they keep begging us to stay and it becomes a habit or they sense we're upset about leaving them and use that. I guess what I'm saying is that give it time and see if he gets better. Also look at other factors like maybe one of the kids is bullying him? ~Leslie~...See Moreaileen
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