skip to main content

What are the pitfalls?

18 years ago

At long last, I am going to be a first time grandma. There must be some obvious pitfalls - what to say, buy, do or not say,buy do etc.

Sort by:Oldest

Comments (5)

Adella Bedella
18 years ago
Don't do something for the first grandchild, that you can't do for the rest.
londondi
18 years ago
I agree with AdellaBedella. My mother-in-law started to needlepoint christmas stockings for her early grand children. My oldest 2 daughers received them, but by the time our youngest came, she had too many to do, so she stopped. My youngest really felt left out. Fortunately, my mom smocked all of the girls Christmas stockings, so those were the ones we used. To be fair, my mother-in-law now has 34 grandchildren, and 6 great grand children. My youngest daughter was #11. She stopped early in the game.
Related Discussions
What time of day do you work in your garden?
Q
Comments (18)
I always work in the late afternoon or evening. I might do a patrol earlier, to check for japanese beetles or do a little watering, but any serious work waits until the cooler evening hours. My natural clock wakes me up at 10:30 or 11 every day. Getting up earlier than that is really hard. To your point, your father is right that working among wet plants increases the chance of spreading bacterial diseases. I look at it like watering. It's ideal to water at the soil level, never letting the foliage get wet. But if I don't have soaker hoses installed, or the time to hand-water or stand there with the hose, then my garden is a lot better off for me to set up a sprinkler than not to water at all. Same with working among wet plants. If the only time you can work is while they're wet, then that's probably better than not working with them at all.
...See More
Customer supplied fixtures - What are the pitfalls?
Q
Comments (9)
There are a couple of considerations... 1) Scheduling. Since you're now in charge of the fixtures, it's up to you to have them on hand when needed. Get them too soon and they could be damaged from on-site construction or pilfered. Get them too late and you're responsible for the delay. Will it fit? Get the spec sheets on-line and print them out for your contractor. That way he knows how wide the refrigerator is, he knows that the toilet has a 10" or 12" or 14" rough-in on the flange. He knows that the shower valve is 3/4" and not 1/2". I'm offering vague generalities there. But choose an item. Download the spec sheet for it and print a copy for you and one for him. Pass them off to him so he knows what you've ordered, or are intending to order, and that gives him an opportunity to nix the purchase or to reconfigure something if it needs reconfiguring. It's a paper trail. 2) Tidbits. Make sure you have whatever needed for whatever you are ordering. Gas appliances, have the proper regulator (LP or natural gas), etc. Bathroom fixtures, make sure it comes with all the part. There's a drain for the sink. Chrome tailpiece and trap if you want that. Again, some things need extra things. Others come all-inclusive. Again, the spec sheets you give him take away his excuse that he didn't know what tidbits needed to be on hand because he didn't exactly know what you were ordering. 3) Damaged goods. When things come in, store them in an out-of-the-way place, preferably out of the traffic pattern, preferably in a place that can be secured or locked up. Open the packing materials and inspect the goods. Having your contractor there is a good thing. Have him sign off on things. The toilet is there, not broken: "check". All parts are there: "Check". Once he signs off, have him assume responsibility for that item. 4) Broken stuff: In general, it's all on you. The installer cracks the toilet when installing it? It's normally on the contractor to supply a new toilet, but since you're supplying it, it's all on you. That's the way things generally work. If a hardliner want to take the hardline, things could go against you. Not all contractors are hardliners. So I'm just spelling out a few warnings or head's up items for you to think over. Good luck with your project!
...See More
Pool building: What are the major pitfalls to watch out for?
Q
Comments (16)
We never had that happen Mike. Thank goodness. I have seen the electric and cable lines miss flagged by several feet. We got to where we kept a cable splice kit and some cable on the truck! I got to remembering the little incidents and forgot all about the build. Sounds pretty good. I prefer pressure side cleaners with a booster pump too. The 6' depth bothers me. It's too deep to stand in and too shallow to dive in. Some people say it keeps the pool cooler, longer. In Texas I don't think we would notice. Texas also seems to follow California, usually about two years later. We don't have a two speed law yet, but it makes sense. In the old days, less efficient pumps on low speed didn't move enough water keep DE on the grids. Newer high head pumps do. Jandy says their pump on low is still moving 40-50 gpm. When you cut the speed in half, you cut the eclectic use in quite a bit more than half. So that's good. SWG's are selling like hotcakes. And like anything new, we are coming up with the technology to fix any problems caused by the SWG. Sealed steel rails. Coatings for flagstone and rock waterfalls, to keep the salt from staining them. Things like that. There not really NEW, I sold lectranators in the '80s. They didn't reverse polarity, so they were not self cleaning, but they generated chlorine. Then we sold a unit that had the salt in a tank and fed the chlorine into the return line. You didn't put the salt in the pool. The by product however was caustic soda, and you had to drain that off from time to time. They required a little more maintenence and that kind of ruined the idea that you were saving time and money. Sounds like it's going to be a nice pool. Enjoy!
...See More
What are the pitfalls to this idea?
Q
Comments (9)
Hmmmm, I would certainly think about it carefully as it may have (state and federal income) tax repercussions. A married couple has a larger protected whack when it comes to capital gains tax than a single person on transfer of real property. It sounds like she's proposing to quit claim her interest to him, but she can't assign her share of that tax protection. And if he's buying her interest out, even if little cash is exchanged because the bulk of the division of marital assets is in the form of equity in the new house, it can get complicated. What may need to happen is a slightly different transfer between them in order to fully use her capital gains tax protection while she can, and give him a stepped-up basis after the transfer. I am definitely not a lawyer, but it might be better for both of them to sell the property to him, not just use a simple release of the ownership interest from one to the other. Definitely recommend a competent tax and divorce lawyer review, in order to not leave any potential asset unrealized (by either parrty), nor leave an unexpected tax bill when the properties are eventually sold at some time in the future. Depending on their ages, there also might be issues with a seemingly below market property disposition if one or other needs Medicaid assistance to cover nursng home care at some point soon. Adding a lawyer to an otherwise amicable divorce can seem counter productive. But one can make it clear that the lawyer is just there for tax and legal expertise, not advice on how to maximize one person's share of the property division.. This stuff can be tricky. But it shouldn't cost a lot to just get this kind of problem-avoiding and problem-solving advice. HTH L.
...See More
gandbb
Original Author
18 years ago
Good Point. I was thinking about setting up a college fund, but I certainly couldn't do that if more come along. My daughter may have a second child and that would have been manageable, but I forgot that I still have a son at home who hasn't even started dating.
Vickey__MN
18 years ago
Don't get into the habit of always buying them things, think more of "making memories" than buying things. We do lots of projects (Bailey is 3 now and we do crafts and bake cookies often). I don't remember much my grandparents bought for me, but I remember going to the zoo with my grandma (she did a sommersault when she was in her 60's, and I remember craft projects with my other Grandma). That's what I want to give my grandkids..memories.

Vickey-MN
lindac
18 years ago
Memories are good....but so is buying things! It's a grandma's great pleasure to buy a grand child something his heart desires but it totally impractical and expensive.
I remember my oldest was pining for Air Jordans....but my daughter said they didn't need to spend $75 on new tennsi shoes ( that tells you how long ago that was!).
I told him I would buy him any tennis shoes he wanted ( he was about 8).....and we ended up spending about $50 on something very different.
I remember taking my grand daughter shopping and to lunch.....and we ate hot fudge sundaes for lunch....because when you are with Grandma you can do anything.....and another time when I was staying with my son's 3 boys for about 5 days.....and we went to Mc Donalds for dinner every night, and swimming afterward....because we could.
Another time I told the twins I didn't know what they wanted for their birthdays....and they told me a list of miscalleanous stuff.....and I suggested a shopping trip and I would allow them to spend each a certain amount...
So we went to Toys R Us ...their choice and I spent a generous amount....but it was very interesting...some toys they agreed to get to share....but other things they weren't about to share. One wanted a fairly nice watch $20 LOL! but the other didn't want any such thing.
It was a lesson in what to share and really thinking about whay you want.
So giving them things can be good, but so can baking cookies, making any kind of pizza you want.....even peanut butter and marshmallow.
Also know that grandmas get older.....and while you could have turned summersaults with one 15 years later you may no longer to be able to do that.
Just enjoy!
Linda C

Related Stories

REMODELING GUIDES 5 Ways DIY Remodels Get Derailed — and How to Deal

By Restoring our 1890 Victorian

Keep your remodel on track by knowing the potential pitfalls ahead of time

CHRISTMAS 10 Quick Solutions for Last-Minute Holiday Problems

By Jenn Hannotte / Hannotte Interiors

Sail right by potential decorating, hosting and gift-giving pitfalls with these invaluable nick-of-time tricks

MOST POPULAR A Contractor's Secrets to Hanging Holiday Decor

By Innovative Design Build

Hang a wreath or garland on brick, concrete, Sheetrock or wood the professional way — and avoid the potential pitfalls

CONTRACTOR TIPS Contractor Tips: How to Shop for Your Remodel

By Buckminster Green LLC

Small mistakes in buying remodeling materials can add up to huge cost overruns. Here's how to get things right the first time

DECORATING GUIDES 12 Extreme Interior Designs

By Becky Harris

Their over-the-top moves may prompt disbelief, but these rooms will never go unnoticed. See how their risks can work in your home

HOME OFFICES Home Offices: How to Set Up a Great Workspace for Two

By Pangaea Interior Design, Portland, OR

See how to design a comfortable home office for both independent work and creative collaborations

MOVING Relocating? Here’s How to Make the Big Move Better

By Jennifer Phelps: Organize. Design. Reinvent!

Moving guide, Part 1: How to organize your stuff and your life for an easier household move

REMODELING GUIDES How to Remodel Your Relationship While Remodeling Your Home

By Mitchell Parker

A new Houzz survey shows how couples cope with stress and make tough choices during building and decorating projects

CONTRACTOR TIPS Building Permits: When a Permit Is Required and When It's Not

By Matt Clawson

In this article, the first in a series exploring permit processes and requirements, learn why and when you might need one

LANDSCAPE DESIGN Secrets of a Successful Water Garden

Relax. Having a water garden is much easier once you understand the basics

Sponsored