To me the key phrase here is "while his mother was home from work," followed by, "She said is was impossible to get any housework, cooking, cleaning done." Frankly, I don't know how working moms do it. But my suggestion is that mom is so busy that she is not giving sufficient individual attention to each child. They need cuddle time. Sit-with-me-doing-nothing special time. And so much more time. I think they are trying to tell her that they miss out on having alone or down time with her. And I know the stress of needing to do so much around the house and the demands of others on a mom, but these little guys need HER.

Have you and the mother considered a sling or baby pack? The child rides happily along while you do any work needed, including computer! They feel held and your arms are free. It doesn't hurt your back because the child is bundled close to you and places no strain.

I think it's way out of line to call a little baby "spolied" at this age. I feel sorry for these babies if they are always being put down and shoved away. Have a heart!

When my son was a baby, I used to get frustrated sometimes that he wanted to be held, cuddled, and played with so much, and I had trouble getting all the housework, yardwork, errands, laundry, cooking, etc. done (I was a stay at home mom and did it all).

Anyway, both my mom, my mother-in-law, my grandmas and my husband's grandmothers told me the exact same thing - "They are little such a short time...you will have all the rest of your life to clean your house. Just enjoy them, hold them, and play with them now while you can." That was wonderful advice, and so true.

My son was held and loved so much, his feet barely ever hit the floor. At church he was held and loved by the congregation, at home, at grandma's, everywhere he went. He was always extremely well behaved, polite, responsible, just a great kid all around. Holding little ones, playing with them, cuddling them, those things don't spoil a baby.

I did get a chuckle out of your daughter-in-law not being able to eat without her son on her lap.......

I used to get so frustrated with my son's grandmas and great grandmas...they held him for his naps! And they just insisted that would never spoil him. They held him in their laps while they ate, too.

I'm sure your DIL is exhausted, like the above poster says, I don't see how she does it all. I hope she is able to enjoy the time she spends with her little ones without feeling guilty about the housework and the laundry.

The other side of "high maintenance" kids is "low maintenance" parents. This doesn't seem like silliness. She needs to pay attention to the kids when she's home from work, the housework can wait till the kids are in bed. It seems like they really need the attention, and it's not unreasonable for them to expect the attention.

I was a stay-at-home mom and I still did an awful lot of work around the house with a kid in my arms, especially cooking and eating. I miss those snuggles. Now that I have grandchildren, they can be in my arms as much as they need to be. Too soon, they'll be too big.

I remember spreading my napkin over my baby daughter in my lap at mealtime so I would not dribble spaghetti sauce or whatever over her.

Interesting to hear other's opinions on the subject of 'high maintenance' kids! Sounds like I was one of few mom's who needed two hands to accomplish anything! :) I remember having a small plastic seat (called an infantseat)which I could place the child in & carry from place to place as I went around the house.One thing I never missed doing was the nightly story telling at bedtime.I knew mothers who put the kids to bed in a hurry, so they could watch tv with no 'interruptions'. I also knew a woman who said she 'couldn't wait' for her kids to grow up. I can honestly say I never once felt that way about my 2 boys-they're parents themselves now, & I have at times reminded them all too soon,those 'noisy' kids will be gone, & then the house will be too quiet! Right, grandparents?! Good day to you all...

Soooooo true, Carole.