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sandyinva

NYC daughter is hiring a baby nurse: where do we fit in?

sandyinva
17 years ago

My daughter, who lives in NYC, ( we are in VA) is hiring a baby nurse for a week or too after the bay is born to assist her w/ in learning how to take care of the baby, someone who will be in the apt when she needs to walk her dog, help her w/ nursing, and it is always possbile that her husband could be out of town, etc. I really need some help in understanding this b/c we are planning on going up there for 4-5 days or so, and I had assumed that this would be my role.

The baby nurse will be sleeping in the baby's room on the floor and will bring the baby to her if her husband is be out of town. We would be staying in a nearby hotel, as it is a 2 bedroom apt.

This is what her previously pregnant friends have done and it has worked out very well for them. I am having a lot of trouble with this, and it seems to be reinforcing some negative issues that are in our relationship: she can be extremely reactive to my feedback, and has chosen some critical times to have done so in the past. When I get on her nerves, for whatever reason, she seems to feel justified to respond back disrespectfully. It can occur in public, it is humiliating, and I will not respond back in the same manner. A rift is developing between us b/c of these repeated incidents, which continue to open up the wound each time.

She mentioned that with a baby nurse, the four of us could go out to eat if we wanted to during those first few days I am there. I am struggling with this as I wouldn't have ever left either of my newborn children, and it is against all of my philosophy as a mom.

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