What to call Grandpa's Live-in?

18 years ago

Hi Grandparents!

I'm a mom of 2 children under 3. My father-in-law "ambushed" my husband at work one day because he thought we told the kids not to call his girlfriend, "Grammy". We always just call her by her first name and so does my child that talks. He never asked what we wanted the children to call her, but we are not comfortable with the term "Grammy". We felt any form of Grandma should be reserved for our real moms. They had to wait 34 years before having any grandkids from us, so it means a lot to them. Please tell me what you think? Are we making mountains out of mole hills? Since her name is Nancy, I thought Nan Nan or Nan might work.

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Comments (6)

donna_loomis
18 years ago
I think it's convenient that her name is Nancy. The children could call her Nana or Nanny. I do think you might be making a bit much of it, unless your father-in-law has a new love every couple of months. Or if his divorce from your mother-in-law is recent I could understand that it could be uncomfortable. But if he loves Nancy and it looks longterm, I don't really see why it should be uncomfortable. One more grandparent could only be good as far as I'm concerned. You shouldn't look at is as if it would disrepect either mom. Nancy deserves some respect, too. Just my opinion.
Lovekats
Original Author
18 years ago
Thanks for your opinion. We've talked it out, and agree that having another special person to love our kids is a positive. We've talked to our moms too, and they don't seem to mind either. So now, if we can just get our daughter to call her "Grammy", then all will be well. LOL
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minnie_tx
18 years ago
How about Grammy Nancy? That's how we do it in my family.
lindac
18 years ago
My grand kids have a a step grandma.....and they call her Gramma Judy. That's great!
But you say this is a "gilrfriend"....I don't think she should be grandma until or unless theya re married.
I have a boy friend who is a grandpa and one day one of his kids called me Grandma.....and I said I love you like a grandma but I am not your grandma....please call me Linda.
Grandma is the term for the wife of Grandpa.
Linda C
blythes
18 years ago
Traditional would probably be Ms. Nancy. But hey, whatever works for you guys.

I had a Grandy, Nana, Grandma and an Ed's Wife. I figure it's up to the lady in question to determine what she's ok with being called.
User
18 years ago
How about "Aunt" Nancy or Nan, at most. She might be gone in a year, then who will they call grammy. I think you should make it clear to your FIL that unless/until he marries, at most they can be a courtesy Aunt.

My XMIL had a second husband and now has a SO, the kids called both of the "uncle", as in Uncle Mike and Uncle Frank. My XFIL had 4 wives before he drank himself to death. He had two of them for such a short time, I'm not sure the kids called them anything, and the last one I think we just called her by her first name. She was kind of weird, so we didn't spend much time with them.

What to call Grandpa's Live-in?

Comments (6)

donna_loomis

Lovekats
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What to call Grandpa's Live-in?

Comments (6)

donna_loomis

LovekatsOriginal Author

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lindac

blythes

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Lovekats
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