Return to the Grandparents Forum | Post a Follow-Up

 o
Grandpa/granddaughter Bonding

Posted by nikoclaw (My Page) on
Tue, Jun 18, 02 at 8:53

My grandaughter, Amy, son-in-law, and daughter live with my wife and I. I am Amy's grandfather. Amy is 14-months old and idolizes her grandpa (Papa) more than anyone else, except her mom. When I come home from work, Amy is waiting for Papa to spend time with her. I do spend a lot of time playing with her, reading to her and showing her new things around the yard and house.

My problem is this...I feel very bad for Amy's Dad as Amy perfers to be with me over her Dad. It's very difficult for me to see Amy cry if her Dad tries to hold her when I am around. She wants to come to me. If I'm not around Amy has no problem playing with Dad. Her Dad does spend quality time with her, but there seems to be a "bonding magic" between her and I that escapes her Dad. What, if anything, should I do. Should I somehow back-off (out of site, out of mind)when Dad is around? Is this strong bond between Amy and I good for Amy? By the way Amy also seems to reject her Grandma when I am present. Thanks in advance for your opinions.

Bill


Follow-Up Postings:

 o
RE: Grandpa/granddaughter Bonding

We have almost the same situation. None of our five grands act as if I exist. Papa is King!! some of them don't even want to go home when the parents come for them.

As they are growing older, they are changing. Papa is less important to them.

They best way to handle it I think, is with humor. Make a joke about how you always knew how to handle the females and that it takes a while before they wise up. Let her father know that this is not uncommon behavior and it will pass, but while it is going on, you will make the best of it.

As she learns to talk more, encouage her to talk to her father, make sure to include him in any conversation you might have with her while he is in the room. Talk about her daddy, Get her to talk about him to you. My bet is that she will soon switch her attentions to him, if she doesn't, then it will be time to tell her things like you're too busy, tired, or whatever when her father is around.

She will be getting to the age when she might try to manipulate you. Watch out for it.

Good luck


 o
RE: Grandpa/granddaughter Bonding

Is Amy's dad feeling left out? You have a special thing going there......enjoy every minute.....doesn't always happen and may be very different with another grand child.
As long as her daddy doesn't feel slighted.....enjoy the little darling's attentions. And when she says..Papa will get me one of them....remember!!
Enjoy....this attitude of little girls is way too short livd!
Linda C


 o
RE: Grandpa/granddaughter Bonding

Is the living arrangement temporary or permanent? If it's only temporary, things will work out when the young family is living in their own house. Then Daddy will come first, as it should be. That would be the best thing for them, don't you think?


 o
RE: Grandpa/granddaughter Bonding

We had a similar situation in our house. My daughter and granddaughter lived in our house until she was 2 years old. My husband and granddaughter were very close I think partly because when he was home he was able to spend the most uninterrupted time with her. Her father and mother married when she was two and moved 5 1/2 hours away. I think it was probably harder on my husband than on her. We still see her and also now there is a grandson. If they haven't been here after about 4 weeks we usually have to go visit. But grandpa realizes that at the age of 6 she will be less excited about spending time with him. I think the relationship they had when she was young was good for both.


 o Post a Follow-Up

Please Note: Only registered members are able to post messages to this forum.

    If you are a member, please log in.

    If you aren't yet a member, join now!


Return to the Grandparents Forum

Information about Posting

  • You must be logged in to post a message. Once you are logged in, a posting window will appear at the bottom of the messages. If you are not a member, please register for an account.
  • Please review our Rules of Play before posting.
  • Posting is a two-step process. Once you have composed your message, you will be taken to the preview page. You will then have a chance to review your post, make changes and upload photos.
  • After posting your message, you may need to refresh the forum page in order to see it.
  • Before posting copyrighted material, please read about Copyright and Fair Use.
  • We have a strict no-advertising policy!
  • If you would like to practice posting or uploading photos, please visit our Test forum.
  • If you need assistance, please Contact Us and we will be happy to help.


Learn more about in-text links on this page here