There is a difference between forgiveness and acceptance. Like many people, when it comes to personal loss, I often cannot make that last step from acceptance into forgiveness. Many years ago, my baby daughter died from pneumonia, early in the morning of the day that we had expected to bring her home from the hospital because she had "almost recovered". I can accept that illness can quickly and unexpectedly kill a baby. I have not been able to forgive the nurse who decided not to call us with the sad news, "because you were coming in, anyway." I can accept the death of my best friend; I cannot forgive the young man driving the vehicle that lost control and smashed her car. Officially, he wasn't DWI; he had consumed only 3 beers before driving. I'm having trouble with accepting the "official" stance on impairment due to alcohol. I can accept reality, but I cannot forgive those who deliberately choose to harm others. My heart cries for those who have lost a loved one; I can only admire those who have the courage to forgive the unforgiveable.

"I must ask, Mascara. If it is hours away, and apparently a hassle and lots of effort for you to get to London, why would you expect the mom to take your message of offering to take child to treatments and/or babysit for an evening out seriously?" To answer this, as I said before I offered this before the transplant. She only lives 5 minutes from me, they are only in London at the moment because it is one of the only hospitals in England with transplant facilities. "Mom considers you a 'Teenage Babysitter' person. You want full 'Pseudo-Parent' status. (Now - recently) Dad hasn't taken a firm and public position about your role. Bottom line, you can't 'move up' to Pseudo-Parent status until Dad insists on it and Mom allows it." This is what upsets me the most. Firstly, when she was my age she already had a 2 year old child with a young boy she practically forced into conceiving with her just so she could have a baby. Yes I know he had his own mind but he wont say boo to a goose and he has never been able to stand up to her. She then moved, stopped him from seeing his child and only spoke to him over the next two years to throw abuse and obcenities at him. Suddenly, she realises her son will not get a kidney through waiting on the list so conveniently decideds that daddy needs to be a part of his life again, "oh and by the way I need your kidney." Now I admit that I have been selfish and I have been immature at times. But I have never ever ever been that selfish, so what right does she have to judge me by my age when this was how she was behaving at my age? I have already said to him that she wont want me playing a part in his life if she doesn't think I'll be in it for long, so he needs to talk to her and make her understand that this is something we are in for the long run, and all I get is, "I didn't have a chance," "I'll get round to it" etc etc. Now as I said, he is a bit of a pushover, but he has no trouble saying what he thinks to anyone else but her, he just gets so pathetic around her. And if he does ever say no to her - for example, she has asked him to last minute come over and babysit and he has a prior engagement - she has a very clever way of manipulating him by making him feel guilty that he missed the first part of his life when it was her that cut him out. He says that he doesn't want any conflict with her because she stopped him seeing his son once and he thinks she will do it again. Now no matter what I think of her as a person, she is a wonderful mother. She raised him from birth on her own and he is one of the most kind and polite children I have met. She would never again stop him from seeing his dad because she knows they love each other and she knows it would come back to her in the end. I also explained to him that she has no grounds to do this on anyway so if it did come to that he could get a solicitor. But he hates confrontation, so our relationship ends up with the conflict because he refuses to have any conflict with her, no matter what the situation. I feel like I've now done everything I can to make this better and it keeps getting worse, I literally feel like I'm trying my best and I cannot do anything right.

Wow, Thank you all for your advice. Mixed feeling on all the comments here. All of your responses have my head spinning. I'll have to admit, I have a little regret on the moving in thing now. It's a done deal right now so I need advice on making this work. Not "don't do it". Amber, reading your post scares me and I hope that this is not where we are heading. My BF and I talked again about the 'rules' at the house and he is going to talk to both his kids again. He brought it up and made all the rules, and yes, they are rules I would have set myself. I didn't start thinking that these kids would be the end of us 'after' we started living together. My BF and my girls get along great and they really like having him at the house. It is just when his boys come they have a problem. Even my girls stay that they don't listen. I am going to give this some time to work and try to be patient with the 8 year old. As for the 8 yr old being tested, I asked about that and the BF said that no he would not be so I let that one go. That is not up to me -it is up to his mom and dad. The 14 year old is on ADHD medication. mkroopy, I agree that your comments did sound harsh and it probably sounded like it was all about me but it is not. I agree that it is confusing for both of the boys and their dad's new relationship. I just feel that there is a behavioral problem when it comes to the kids listening. It is not 'all about me' as you put it but about the kids listening and not destroying the things I have worked very hard to get. I hate to use the word 'I' there but I am not rich by any means and it has taken a lot of time to have nice things. In other words, the clock wasn't from Walmart and it wasn�t $25 (I just happen to get it on sale for that price.) and the same goes for the furniture. I work hard for the things that I have and do not want them broken. (And I forgot to mention that I had to have the boards repaired in the sofa and the chair that I just purchased last December because someone wants to 'jump' on the furniture.) My point is that the 8 yr old does not mind when he is told something. I have several nieces and nephews and none of them act or have ever acted the way that these kids act (8yrs old or not). They are well behaved and mind their parents when told to or not to do something. This goes for my girls too. As far as I can tell; he isn't acting out but this is how both boys always have been, I say that from the 'stories' that I am told. I guess I should have also mentioned that 'his' friends recently told me that they told him not to bring the boys around because of their behavior. It wasn't until this past year (right around when he and I started dating) that they have accepted them back at their houses. It is not something I am being unrealistic or making up. I actually didn't know this until we moved in together. Now as far as 'dad is gonna be shacking up with someone who the little one isn't even quite sure who the f*ck she is" is the point I was trying to make earlier. He should have sat him down and talked to him about mommy and daddy are getting divorced and explained several things to him. He should not have let it go so long that now (as you put it) dad is 'shacked up' with someone. Also' I just found out that the 8 yr old was there when they both signed the divorce papers. Yes I was surprised when I found out but my point is he knows. And he knows that his mommy has a boyfriend and is getting married. I don't think the 8 yr old is acting the way he does because of the divorce. Please let me explain one more thing, I have always been a single parent to my girls. I have struggled for years to make ends meet to give THEM (my girls) 'nice' things. I have done it all on my own. Their 'father' have not been in the picture since they were 2 years old. (dead beat dad) I did not get child support for 12 years so it was all me in the raising of my two incredible girls. I will have to apologize now-but- is these last 16 years of taking care of my girls that has made me the way I am. I just believe that there is a difference in if the child is 'acting out and doing something' or he just doesn't care or want to listen. I think that my point has been misunderstood about my frustration and the problem that I am trying to convey. As for my girls, they are really good kids. It may be wrong for moving in with my BF but I do not plan to get married. I am not going to get into why on that one - but that is my decision. I was trying to get advice on how to make this work even though it is a difficult situation. I wanted to get advice on dealing how others dealt with a BFs kids. I really hope this isn't "rain wreck" that is being predicted.

Like many happy appliance owners I don't often write rants or praises about them. Three years in I'm getting along great with my 36" CC. I bought it through Trevor both because he is local and his reputation for service. Fortunately I've never needed to test the factory response or service. I installed the range myself. When it was new they came out with the "small pot burner". I wrote to the company and asked for one, and they sent it, no fuss, no muss, no bother (and almost no contact-- perfect!). I put it in and since then everything about the range has worked perfectly-- no more burned oatmeal. If I had it to do over I'd get the griddle rather than the grill, but I have no one other than myself to blame for that choice.