The only grandparent I have that’s still alive is my dad’s mother but I don’t have any grandparents. I’m 22 years old. My mother’s father was coward who killed himself when my mom was 3. And she was forced to grow up without her father. And her mother did a horrible job raising her. But my mother is a wonderful woman. She never left me or my siblings in times of need and raised us to be mature responsible adults. And she is a hard worker. Her mother was there for a little of our life and abandoned us when I was really young. Not even 10...that had to be hard for my mom to fill the void. My father’s side was great until my aunt was born. His father died when I was 2, my brother was 6, and when my sister was 8. My dad was only 27 at the time, but he is a great man. He worked hard for decades to provide for 3 kids, and a wife. He was never afraid to be the bad guy if that’s what it took to teach us what we needed to know. And he never stops showing us love when we need him. I’ve had the best parents I could’ve ever had or asked for. But my father’s mother is the worst. She was never there for me or my brother and never even met my sister. I invited her to my graduation party (only because mom told me to) she said she was gonna come and she lied. Not even a congratulations card. I finally told her I was done. I gave her another chance after her mother died but I didn’t even get a half a try. She never called, never asked if I was doing alright in this time of the coronavirus. So I finally deleted her number. she doesn’t deserve to be part of the life a man who’s engaged and has a double bachelor’s. Or a man who is working on a music career. Sometimes I wish I could spit in her face. She is not grandmother of mine, or my siblings. And never told her own son that she was proud of him. That has to hurt my father to the core, maybe that’s partially why he’s such a hard worker, because his efforts were never enough. Not to his own mother anyway.

gandbb, I don't think you should serve soup to the toddlers, not only because of spills but because it's hot--too much potential for disaster. (At home, a child in a high chair would probably have a bowl with a suction base.) Most children would probably prefer juice, such as apple juice or Juicy Juice, which comes in many different flavors (and COLORS!). You might just get an assortment of juice boxes, which come with their own straws. Since there are only a few families, I'd suggest calling the moms and asking what kind of juice their kids like (you might get different answers from each). Or just buy an assortment. If the kids are a bit older, 7-UP or ginger ale would be good. Also, think "finger foods" for the smaller kids; don't expect them to be able to cut the food with knives and forks. Kids are finicky, too, and some have food allergies; be especially careful not to serve peanuts. The best bet is to check with the parents. I think it's great that you are being so inclusive, so nobody will be left out. You must have a great neighborhood! Sue

Some people do not have the energy to deal with toddlers. I was with a friend with children the same age as your toddlers, and it is exhausting and all consuming. The two year old kept running to the stairs (even though the child could not do stairs) and the mom kept bringing the child to another area to play, but the child kept trying to go on back to the stairs. When the mom would pick the child up, the child would kick and scream and cry (AKA a major temper tantrum) returning again and again for the stairs. The mom was trying to visit with friends, and have a conversation, and the child made this impossible. At the same time, she was trying to keep and eye on her 3 year old who kept wandering off. Some people just do not enjoy babies and toddlers, and do not feel comfortable being responsible for someone else's toddlers. Friends would take turns watching each others toddler, while the other ran errands. After doing it a few times, it stopped, as the one child would scream for the entire 2 hours. No amount of distraction or toys helped. One of the friends said that the few hour break was not worth the price of having to return the favor and watch a child who cried so much. Toddlers take enormous energy, and you have to focus on them every minute. It is one thing when they are your children. It is another thing entirely when they belong to someone else. Trust her and try not to take it personally. Several years from now (5 or so) if they still leave your children out, then you may want to talk to them. But for now, don't force your toddlers on someone who is not willing. Perhaps you can do somethings with them bringing the toddlers, so that a relationship begins to develop, but you are there to help if your children cry or wander off. At some point, they may feel up to the challenge of an outing with one or both of your young children. This may have "nothing" to do with their step child versus your children, and have everything to do with the fact that some people are uncomfortable with babies and toddlers. Wait and see as your children become more self sufficient (around age 7-8) if they are included. If they are not, then I imagine it will be their loss. Many people simply do not have the energy to enjoy taking such young children out on outings. The others are right in that with the toddlers along, they would be unable to focus on the older grandchild. You yourself must know many parents who cannot even go out to dinner and actually enjoy it with toddlers. The child wants out of the high chair, and then is running around the restaurant, or will not go in the high chair and is crying if made to sit in a high chair. Or one of the parents is walking around outside with the toddler, while the other parent finishes eating., etc. Not a relaxing dinner out by any stretch of the imagination, for anyone. So again, try not to take it personally right now. Respect their discomfort being responsible for someone else's toddlers, and do not try and force them into something they are clearly uncomfortable with.

to answer: Son and daughter relationship is the best one she has here. They have a nice thing together, he is very giving of his time, He is patient and kind with his discipline, and doesnt treat her like a baby. When her mom is not around she loves to be with him, they always have a science project in the works. When mom is here, she sort of tattles on any thing she can, to make him look bad. He knows its just jealousy, and doesnt give it much attention most of the time. He patiently tries to get her to see how it isnt a cool thing to do. So yes, it looks like there are issues with son, but I don't think that is the problem at all. I am going to sound crazy, but I think every thing she does is in an effort to control her mom. She needs more attention from her, son has tried to make mom accept it, I have stayed out of that. And to be honest, she is so damn difficult, it is tough to judge the mom too much. When nother does give her time, much of it is spent arguing and whining and throwing fits to get things or go places. If she learns she gets to go to a fair or shopping the next day, she spends every minute trying to get everyone to give her money or something new to wear, and getting to go to every other fun place she can come up with, when the day comes for the fair, theres no way the outing measures up to all she tried to manipulate, and every one has a crappy time. They have come home with her crying over a not getting her way every single time, I swear this. It's just an awful ritual. And, tho I see areas where mom could do things different, as a potential mother in law, I strongly feel it is not my place to point them out. That whole thing is so fragile between women. She is in trouble with school for not completing homework, and at home for lying about doing it much of the school year. I have never seen any sign of friends. When she moved in here, I offered to let her invite someone over, picking them up, what ever it took, and told the mom the same, eventually they both said all her friends were away for the summer. My gut doesn't think so. The times I have seen her with a neighbor I was hoping would become a friend, she is controlling and gets mad enough to scream at her. She took this twice and we have not been able to get her here again. There are issues that explain her behavior, I am not sure of all of them, but the ones I feel are of concern, are things kids have always had to deal with. She needs more time with mom. My son has told the mom this lots of times. She makes at attempt for a while and it slips thru the cracks, a common thing in parenting. As for me talling her this, I strongly feel that the relationship between Mother and wife or gf is so fragile that I am not the one to give her alot of correction on her parenting. And I strongly believe, what ever the excuses are as to why this girl behaves this way, when she is in the real world, no one is going to give a rip as to why she is selfish, or steals, or critical and jealous. And when they refuse to be her friend she may not ever understand why. So, and please correct me here if I am wrong, but I hope that the belief the behavior is unaccceptable, and it doesn't matter why, is a workable theory. She has been given many chances to stop it all before the consiquences became unpleasant, she knows that, she never let up, it was always full steam ahead. I think she absolutely cannot stand to be given a rule even if its about a computer that doesnt belong to her, and she disobeys for the power of seeing if she can make you back down. She wants to control everything. Thats my gut feeling lol And I don't have a clue how to change it in her. Hope this answered things guys, I thank you, It's so nice to hear others ideas. And please know, I gotta being doing something wrong here, so telling me so or pointing out my own bad attitude or what ever you may see, will be taken as an effort to be helpful, I just want to fix this, if I have to see my own faults to do it, hey, no surprise lol thanks laurily Her life is she was raised by a very young single mother, who put herself thru dental assisting school and has managed to give them both a pretty descent life. She had a long term thing a year before my son met her. The girl has never mentioned this man or if she cared about him. My belief is that his absence gave her more time alone with her mom so she was great with it. The mom suffers guilt over working, and it's not warranted, her hours are no worse than any one else's, but going to daycare after school for an hour was a constant complaint, and she would tell every one she could how awful it was that her mom made her go. I belie