I feel for you! We have bad neighbors on all sides of us, luckily there is some space (we're in the boonies, but you still get bad neighbors who burn plastic and let it smolder all day and the wind blows the stench into your house). I planted A LOT of bamboo, mostly to hide the ugly view of the one neighbors property that we can see in winter (and see all the garbage they have piled everywhere, along with the 30 dogs he has (he runs a puppymill, and do the authorities care? NO.). Destruction of property is a bad thing. Maybe you can get some form of mediation involved? I think that is cheaper than a lawyer. Sorry to hear about your neighbors, ours are really bad. One we have property bordering with tries to steal our land by putting up goat fencing on our side, he's built tree stands (with boards and lots of nails)in our real nice oak trees, their one son was in it and when my husband went up to the kid, he pointed a bb gun at him! The little jerk never even apologized (neither did his parents, no surprise), the kid started ARGUING with my DH about where the property line is (Sorry, but my DH knows how to read a topo map, as well as survey maps too, and WE know where the line is). Of course we called the police on these jerks, after all the other stuff they've done, it was time.

Ah, this is fun. My grandfather arrived in America on February 15, 1907 from Norka, Russia. He was 15 years old & dragging 2 siblings, his younger sisters. Their parents had been killed by the Russian military during one of the raids on village grain storehouses. An older brother paid their fare & sent them on their way to live with another sibling (sister) living in Portland, Oregon with her husband & young children. They had emigrated a couple years earlier. Grandpa made his way up the Volga River to Moscow, then continued to St. Petersburg. From St. Petersburg to Liverpool. They made the crossing in steerage & arrived at Ellis Island. On the entire crossing nobody spoke their native language (German-Russian dialect) so they chatted with each other about their fears, hopes, & plans for a new life in America. From NYC they boarded the train for the long trip across America to Portland where their sister Elizabeth (Lizzie) was waiting. Again, they had only themselves to talk with & Grandpa spoke often about the young girl he left behind in Norka. Her name was Catherina Maria & she was 3 years younger than Grandpa. Catherina had long blond hair & blue eyes & Grandpa was quite smitten with her. He'd given her his most precious possession before he left Russia...a hand embroidered hankie that his mother (my G-grandmother) had made when she was a new bride. My Grandpa was child 6 of 9. The youngest was too young for Grandpa to take to America so that little girl remained behind in Russia with Grandpa's older brother. Catherina Maria was the middle child from a family of 8 children. She was never a strong child & often sickly. But she was beautiful with a soft, clear voice & loved music. Her older brother told me that Chatherina would tell the entire family that she was going to marry my Grandpa Pete someday &, of course, they laughed. These were the years building up to the Russian Revolution & life in the Russian villages was brutal. Many were emigrating. Catherina's parents, together with her older siblings, made the decision to give up their plot of hard earned land in Norka & go to America after their second son, Johannes, had been killed in the Russian military. So, the family arrived in Philadelphia, PA on March 15, 1910, via the American Line ship "Merion", from Liverpool, England. They also made their way across America to join friends & neighbors already living in Portland. Young Catherina drove her youngest brother, Jacob, crazy with tales of how she was going to marry Pete afterall. On May 23, 1913 the two young lovebirds married in Portland surrounded by about a 100 loved ones who had made the long trip from Norka & were now living in "Little Rushsa" (Portland). None too soon either...my Dad came along in mid-November 1913. :) Catherina never fully recovered from Dad's birth & she was pregnant again by February 1914 giving birth just 5 days after my Dad's 1st birthday. Catherina Maria passed away from a cogenital heart condition in May 1915. My Dad first saw Mom early spring 1933 when she was walking to highschool. Dad was working at a family owned gas station to augment money he earned evenings playing his accordion. Dad quit school after 8th grade to concentrate on his music & help support the family. He was determined to meet the young woman who had ignored his rude wolf whistle as she scurried past the gas station to school. He waited all day for her to walk by on her way home. When he saw her...Dad swaggered over & said something along these lines, "Hey, don't look the other way. You're pretty. Would you like to go for an airplane ride with me?" Dad was never known for being subtle. He was also never known for doing the ordinary. Mom was horrified but couldn't help noticing his blond hair & blue eyes & his toned muscles from years of hard work & playing his accordion. The next day, Dad never allowing a, "No!", to be a final answer was prepared when Mom again came walking to school. This time, he had his accordion. He serenaded her on the streets of Portland to make, hopefully, a better impression. Mom also loved music & played piano. She stopped, listened, & the rest is history. They were married the following January. I was bored & looking for a new job. Answering an ad in the Denver Post took me to a luncheon interview. When the two gentlemen stood up to greet me I couldn't help but notice one as he extended his hand to shake mine. He didn't hire me but 3 weeks later we were living together & were married 27 years ago. Sometimes, love does happen at first glance. /tricia

I, too, am concerned about the dog situation. Perhaps I'm reading things that aren't there, but you said the dog was released from a pen--that sounds like it wasn't truly a 'house pet' kind of animal. Animals who spend a lot of time in pens often aren't as well socialized as those who spend all their time with the family and are much more likely to act aggressively. I'm sorry, but in a case like that, allowing the dog to run free around a 3-year-old when no one was apparently keeping an eye on the situation was a really, REALLY dangerous thing to do--the result was predictable. You also said that they sued your ins. to cover their medical bills and seemed to have a problem with with that--that's what you have insurance for. Why should the parents have footed the bill for damage your dog and your husband's carelessness caused? Your message seems to indicate that the little girl was pretty seriously hurt ('she's healed nicely' and the fact that their suit was apparently successful seem to indicate her wounds were fairly substantial). Actually, a dog bite is one of the easiest ways to get your home-owners cancelled--the companies consider that responsible pet owners have a duty to keep their pets under control, that bites are preventable. You seem to be blaming them for the cancellation--I don't know many young families today who can afford major medical bills, they probably did the only thing they could. You could, of course, prevented the claim, by offering to pay the bills yourself, right? Please consider how you would have felt years ago, if you thought someone caused harm and hurt to one of your children--you sound like you care about your children and would like to care about your gk--I imagine you'd have been pretty upset if someone else hurt one of them. Can you put yourself in the parents shoes and imagine how they might feel? I feel very badly that you're not getting to see your granddaughter as much as you'd like, but I do agree with the above poster. Some counselling would certainly be in order--for all the family--so that you can work out the many issues that your family faces. Good thoughts to you, your husband and the rest of your family. I truly hope you find the help you need to work this all out.

I had a similar problem with my daughter when she was 11- she is now 13. Summer was a few weeks away and I waited until then to let DD's friend know that over the summer I was going to be making many plans with family and other friends and asked that she not call. I called her mom to let her know that I was going to be encouraging DD to spend time with other friends as I was worried about the two spending so much time together. She agreed it would be hard but might be a good decision. I made an effort to keep DD involved and busy. When friend would call I reminded her that DD had family plans and that she should take this time to develop other friendships as well. After a month she stopped calling by the end of the summer I got a call from her mother saying that her daughter found other girls to spend time with and instead of investing herself in just one friend she was spreading it around. It seems it worked out well for everyone. DD sees friend at school but both have found other girls with similar interests and moved on... Hope that helps.I have found that kids with difficult backgrounds occasionally attach themselves to our family since we are very involved and stable but sometimes that isn't healthy for the friend or our family. Family always comes first so any friend who isn't kind to siblings or doesn't know when it's time to go home or how to behave doesn't get asked back. I've learned that preventing a friendship isn't as easy as just encouraging another friendship so that's the route we take.