Perhaps you're feeling a tiny bit conflicted because, in a good way, you were the witness and ultimately, because you were, he went to jail and has now died. Be assured you have no reason to bear any burden from this experience. What you are feeling is post traumatic stress as the whole incident is back in your mind again. Know that this will pass, your mind will sort it all out and lay it to rest. Replace the uneasiness with a sense of pride that you saved a girl from being a potential victim. You're our heroine!!! Now smile.

Apple, I have experience with hypnosis, and it does work for bullying, but it's very dependent on the therapist. I went to a hypnotist to recover from my abusive first husband. It worked almost immediately. It helped me to realize and taught my conscious and subconscious mind that I was viewing him as an overbearing parent and myself as a vulnerable child. So, when my daughter became the target for bullies in middle school and high school, I took her to a hypnotist. My original hypnotist was now retired. I believe it would have worked, but the second therapist didn't use the same strategy. Instead she targeted my daughter's nightmares and introduced relaxation techniques. It did help, and the panic attacks stopped. My daughter's self esteem issues and social awkwardness persisted despite hypnosis, changing schools, AND counseling----LOTS of counseling. My daughter is now in college, and she is better, but not back to normal... Never will be, in my opinion. You MUST take action. Girl bullying is subtle but deadly. I witnessed it, and it is shocking to see... my daughter's words never even came close to describing how horribly hurtful it was. The teachers perpetuated it.... Believe me.... Teachers know which kids are popular, and which kids are targets, and they participate, too. What has worked better than everything is involving my daughter in outside activities with completely different kids. My daughter went on a high school study abroad program for spring break with a neighboring high school, and that was great. I sent her for month-long summer high school programs on college campuses, including one in England to get her out of the toxic environment and to help form new peer groups. I sent her to Saturday morning modeling classes, which also helped. I know you are thinking these things are expensive, but bullying can ruin or kill your child, and counseling is expensive, too. Don't tolerate it, and take action. I wish you and your daughter the best.

I know my husband's ex- has that as well (either narcissistic and/or bipolar). But, unfortunately, BMs are allowed to get away with quite a bit, especially when it comes to using whatever she gots to go after SM. We all know SMs are just cheap floozies, right!? (tongue-in-cheek). This sure hits a nerve with me, "The step kids comply out of self preservation because they know there will be hell to pay if they don't prove their undying loyalty to the BPD and disloyalty to the step parent or to the biological parent." Combine that with Parenteral Alienation Syndrome (PAS) and wow! It is amazing any SM survives. Hmm, once again Southern Summer you have given me some food for thought. "You cannot have a relationship with these people or their children. To stay in a relationship with your husband, you cannot have a relationship with the step kids; it is too threatening to the BPD." I mentioned on another post I was somewhat disengaged from my SKs, and I have to say it is largely because after so many years I now sense their undying loyalty to their BPD bio-mother, and, to be blunt, their undying disloyalty to me and lack of recognition of my role to their father, and that is as his wife. I don't care to be known or thought of as a type of mom--never did--but, hey!, couldn't you at least recognize my role as dad's wife!? I mean, to ignore/ insult dad's wife, is to ignore/ insult him too! This is after almost 20 years. But, I maybe I've been overthinking this, and I just need to accept that it will never be, because as you say: "You cannot have a relationship with these people [those who suffer from BPD] or their children. To stay in a relationship with your husband, you cannot have a relationship with the step kids; it is too threatening to the BPD," . . . and it follows the BPD BM will continue to conjure a blended family hell for you either by herself and/ or by proxy (such as through the kids).

Jean Cocteau, memories of long student debates until morning and umpteen visits to movie theaters in order to watch Orpheus. I think I saw it about 6 times. Didn't we see us as intellectuals, funny now.