Out of control grandchild
texkickingbird
16 years ago
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Comments (9)
dirt_yfingernails
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agoRelated Discussions
Ex Husband still angry impacting grandchild
Comments (3)I wouldn't allow him to interact with her- he's teaching her that it's OK to treat you with contempt and when she gets older it will be a way of life for her. Did he behave this way when you were raising your daughter? Privately you might like to ask him what he means by, "Are you going to ruin her like you ruined our daughter"? and what he thinks should be done differently. Then in a calmer moment you could reflect on whether or not he has any kind of point and act accordingly (which may well be to tell your ex-H to go soak his head). I'm not saying that your daughter's current issues are the result of her upbringing, but I know there are things I would have preferred to do differently when we were raising our daughter which my husband undermined, which he later admitted he was wrong to do....See Morenot alowed to see grandchild
Comments (5)I think you need to calm down and wait. I have a hard time believeing you are just leaving her do what she wants and maybe you're being too bossy and over protective. I had my son out of wedlock(which really has nothing to do with what is going on here. You see it as an issue but you can still be good parents whether you're married or not) and went with the father who I am still with and our son is almost 3. I was an adult with my own family at that point and my Mom had a hard time realizing she had to leave me go and allow me to grow up. My Mom was in the delivery room when Shane was born and Jer was out on the phone making a call to tell my grandparents I was having the baby. My Mom should have been the one making the call, not Jer. He missed the birth of his son and still is upset about that to this day. We stayed with my Mom for two weeks and she basically took care of Shane. To her, she was a better parent than I could ever be. He wasn't ours. We left and then she was mean and hateful and threatened to have him taken from us because we were unfit parents. We weren't unfit, she was just saying all this and thought she had more rights to our son than we did. Sounds like you have the same problem. You may have helped care for the baby and deliver it, but it's not yours. It is your grandbaby, not your child and you don't have a right to tell your daughter when she has to bring the baby around and stuff like that. You can't force your daughter to come around. She will in her own time and trust me gulit trips and telling her what you think won't help. My Mom and I didn't talk or see much of each other for months. She eventually realized I was an adult and I was a good mother. She also accepted that Jer was a wonderful father and person. She treated him the same as my brother and I when out shopping for Christmas and he feels he's wanted and part of the family. Before he was treated differently and that made him not want to visit and that's why I stayed away, too. I loved Jer and I wasnt about to make him feel like he wasn't wanted....See MoreMy first Grandchild
Comments (6)I am so sad for all of you. My nephew and his girlfriend had a baby two weeks ago. I lost my adult son almost 4 months ago and as sad as I feel about losing my son, holding that baby made things ok for a few minutes. You will never forget your grandbaby. I had a friend who carried her baby full-term and the doctor thought she was in premature labor so he put it off with methods not used today. Her perfectly healthy 8 lb girl was dead when she was finally delivered. She had started breathing in the womb and drowned. We have never avoided talking about Jamie Anne. Had she lived she would be 34. As badly as it hurt to lose that baby, my friend went on to have another child. He was 31 on his last birthday. Knowing how it made me feel to hold my great-niece last week, maybe you could volunteer to hold babies at the hospital. There are babies who need the human touch to survive and sadly enough there are not enough people willing to hold and rock a baby in need. And as hard as it is to believe all people who have sick babies do not stay at the hospital to give that baby enough love for it to survive. I have seen this personally. I know you want to hold and rock your grandbaby, just like I want to see, touch, and talk to my son again. It might give you some peace, being able to hold a baby who needs your touch, and once you find some peace you will be more able to help your daughter and son-in-law. I hope you find what you need to move forward in your grief journey....See MoreGrandparents favoring one grandchild
Comments (14)Some people do not have the energy to deal with toddlers. I was with a friend with children the same age as your toddlers, and it is exhausting and all consuming. The two year old kept running to the stairs (even though the child could not do stairs) and the mom kept bringing the child to another area to play, but the child kept trying to go on back to the stairs. When the mom would pick the child up, the child would kick and scream and cry (AKA a major temper tantrum) returning again and again for the stairs. The mom was trying to visit with friends, and have a conversation, and the child made this impossible. At the same time, she was trying to keep and eye on her 3 year old who kept wandering off. Some people just do not enjoy babies and toddlers, and do not feel comfortable being responsible for someone else's toddlers. Friends would take turns watching each others toddler, while the other ran errands. After doing it a few times, it stopped, as the one child would scream for the entire 2 hours. No amount of distraction or toys helped. One of the friends said that the few hour break was not worth the price of having to return the favor and watch a child who cried so much. Toddlers take enormous energy, and you have to focus on them every minute. It is one thing when they are your children. It is another thing entirely when they belong to someone else. Trust her and try not to take it personally. Several years from now (5 or so) if they still leave your children out, then you may want to talk to them. But for now, don't force your toddlers on someone who is not willing. Perhaps you can do somethings with them bringing the toddlers, so that a relationship begins to develop, but you are there to help if your children cry or wander off. At some point, they may feel up to the challenge of an outing with one or both of your young children. This may have "nothing" to do with their step child versus your children, and have everything to do with the fact that some people are uncomfortable with babies and toddlers. Wait and see as your children become more self sufficient (around age 7-8) if they are included. If they are not, then I imagine it will be their loss. Many people simply do not have the energy to enjoy taking such young children out on outings. The others are right in that with the toddlers along, they would be unable to focus on the older grandchild. You yourself must know many parents who cannot even go out to dinner and actually enjoy it with toddlers. The child wants out of the high chair, and then is running around the restaurant, or will not go in the high chair and is crying if made to sit in a high chair. Or one of the parents is walking around outside with the toddler, while the other parent finishes eating., etc. Not a relaxing dinner out by any stretch of the imagination, for anyone. So again, try not to take it personally right now. Respect their discomfort being responsible for someone else's toddlers, and do not try and force them into something they are clearly uncomfortable with....See Moreforms
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agotexkickingbird
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agoforms
16 years agolast modified: 9 years agodmwwest
5 years agoSuzieque
5 years agofentress1
5 years agopudgeder
5 years ago
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