The Mom's boyfriends need to but out!

I have to disagree with all those who say that he will grow out of it. I married a man who picks his nose CONSTANTLY. Yes, when I married him I knew he had what I thought was a mild problem. When we were still dating, he made some effort to conceal this "activity" from me, but now that we're married, like everything else, he's used to me being around and doesn't much care that I find it disgusting. He does it in public, at the dinner table, when visiting relatives, wherever, whenever, his finger goes up his nose. And it's not the quick, inconspicuous "ooh I have an itch" or "I just got out of the pool and I think there's something hanging down" kind of pick. It's the brain-tickling, bury-your-pinky-up-your-nose kind of pick. He pulls "stuff" out and then plays with it. No tissues. Sometimes he will look away when doing it, but it's easy to tell what he's doing even with his back turned to me. He usually stops when I ask him to, but shrugs me off with an "All right, all right. Stop nagging me." Within two hours, he'll be at it again. This is not an exaggeration.

It's so revolting I can't put it into words. We argue about it constantly. He also gets frequent nose-bleeds. He says he had frequent nose-bleeds as a child and that he had a procedure done that was supposed to alleviate the problem, but in fact it made the walls of his nostrils thinner and only made the nose-bleeds worse. His mother backs him up on this, so I asked her once if she had told the doctor that the child CONSTANTLY picked his nose and that perhaps this was causing the frequent nose-bleeds. She failed to see the relevance of constant nose-picking to frequent nose-bleeds in a 5-6 year old. What a shame. They were different times back then, perhaps she was just too embarassed, but whatever the reason, perhaps if she was more honest with the doctor at the time, there might have been a different outcome.

I can't get a 37 year old professional to stop picking his nose. I don't think a 10 year old with a thumb-sucking problem (which is much less offensive to others) will just grow out of it. It sounds like he will need some type of counselling, but I suggest you start with your family doctor. And DON'T let the doctor pacify you by offering that it's a harmless habit and that he'll grow out of it. Be persistent. Be specific. Tell the doctor all the things you've tried over the years. Tell him you need a solution NOW. If the doctor can't help you, see another one.

Best of luck.

I think one problem that parents run into is that the child is already a little uneasy and saying "stop that" makes him more so. You want him to relax.

It's going to take time. Keep at it.