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Grandson's Name

Posted by Gail_in_NC (My Page) on
Mon, Mar 4, 02 at 2:19

I am going to be a grandmother for the first time in May. I am thrilled about the uncoming birth of my grandson (We know it's a boy) My problem??? The name!! No matter how I've tried to look at it I don't like it. Trust me, that's putting it mildly. I'd wanted to pass out little seed packet birth announcments at work when the baby was born, and quite honestly, I'm terrbily embarrased by his name. It sounds like something off of Zena!
She had asked me early in the pregnacy to help her with baby names.....so I did. She hasn't liked any of them....she has picked out his first name strickly because of the meaning (she's in the Army...means little warrior or something) and I've told her no one hears the name and says "oh that means little warrior" LOL
I have a great relationship with my daughter, I've expressed myself "kindly" and haven't told her how much I dislike the name.....just that it's unusual, but she does know I don't care for it (I didn't have the heart to tell her just how much) . She seems to have her mind made up and I feel sick about this name. I think the child will have a hard time as time goes by....also, it sounds very ethnic and she's a blue eyed fair skinned young lady. It just doesn't match!!
I know I've got no say in this......and I'm so serious when I say I'm afraid I'll never even say the babies name! I don't just dislike it I can't stand it!! Please, someone put me on a path of exceptance or tell me how I can deal with pleasing her and pleasing me. I know my place, so I don't really need to hear that's it's none of my business! I've just never had to deal with such a struggle before......no one else in the family knows that name yet as she's saving it as a "surprise" Trust me, they will be!!!
Gail


Follow-Up Postings:

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RE: Grandson's Name

What is the name?

My sister is an artist and is having a baby soon. She was coming up with a lot of names like Summer, Love, Flower, etc. I had to tell her straight out I did not like any of them. I decided to help her think of a name. I knew it still had to be "different". I suggested "Lyric" and she was very pleased because she is a singer. The family all agreed that was the happy medium. Of course, it is her decision but I was working hard to come up with something she would like.:-)

Maybe you can do a search on other names that mean little warrior or something similar. Present them to her as an option to see if she likes them better.


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Gail, I've been exactly where you are now.
My dd was going to call the kid a very weird name, not just unusual . When family and friends asked her what the names were,they just sat and looked surprised and didn't know what to say when they heard the names she had chosen.When they had the chance, they asked me why??? Eeek! When I was asked by others about what names they had chosen, I would just say they hadn't yet decided ( little white lie ).
I was careful not to let her know what I thought, but sent her family names and some that I thought she might like. I was reconciled to her choice, when two days before the baby was born, her husband decided on a name he liked and that was unusual but not weird.All during her pregnancy, he would say the strange names she had chosen. Guess when push came to shove, his good sense won out.

If you express your strong negative feelings, she may become more adamant than ever.At least that is what my dd would do. So,tread lightly if at all on this topic.

Does the baby's dad feel ok w/ the name? Maybe he will come to the rescue.

I can feel your pain !!!


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Please let us know the name....I'm quite curious now.


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I looked up names meaning "little warrior" and I can't figure out which one it could be but they are all a little weird to read and I'm sure to pronounce.

You still have time for her to change her mind. Also she could just be doing this to drive people crazy because she's tired of others asking. I've seen people say that they lied and said they picked really off the wall names but they really planned on something like Matthew just to get people to quit asking or to keep it a surprise.

My MIL said how she was so dead set on the name for her second son until he was born. Then she took a look at him and said that it just didn't suit him and they changed it. So that could always happen here.

The best thing to do is to stop dwelling on this and worry when the baby is here and named. Even then I dont' think you'll be worried about the name~just elated to be a grandmother and that's he's here. The name may end up sticking with you once you see him. Oh and at least he won't be in a class in school with 5 other kids with the same name.

~Leslie~


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You might think about doing what my MIL did. We used my DH youngest brother's name for a middle name. My MIL announced that she didn't like our choice for first name, so she was going to call him Tommy after my DH's brother. We held out, but she was the most stubborn. After over three months's of hearing her call him Tommy, we gave up. So you might have a chance to do the same.

Then, her Tommy had a son, and was named Tommy, Jr. Our Tommy had a son who was also a jr, but he is called by that ignored first name.

Is it a name that you can create a nicknames from? That might help you handle it if she doesn't come to her senses.


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Yes, tell us what the name is! We're all in suspense!

if you feel comfortable, tell your daughter that possibly picking a strange name could only make it difficult for the child when he/she is older. It seems like people have no concept that their kid has to go through life with this name, or of the teasing that their child might endure with a name like Homer (what Anne heche just named her baby - truly dreadful! I mean, this isn't 1870!) or something. Just my opinion.

I was on a baby name website the other day and it showed what several celebrities were naming their children - and some of them were just gawd awful. Lily seems to be a popular name among girls. One musician had a daughter named Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily, which is a bit on the bizarre side, if you ask me. So maybe you don't have it so bad after all! LOL


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I think Gail is being diplomatic and NOT telling us the 'horrid' name, you know she may be well aware of the fact it could also be my son's name or your brother's name . Who would want to take that chance? Not me, lol. Then again maybe she hasn't been back since posting.


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Goodmorning! I'd like to thank everyone for their suggestions and support! :) My daughter is visiting right now (From Germany...she came home to attend a funeral for a friend) While she has been here she's seen lots of her friends and her feelings seem a bit hurt because no one, not a single soul likes the baby's name. I've actually felt very bad for her as her feelings seem hurt. I still don't like the baby's name, but have decided (whewww) that it's her decision and I'll just have to support whatever name she chooses. In all honestly, she may reconsider because she's not receiving a great response! There are always cute little nicknames (if she'll let me...he he he)
Lisa, you are right on target when you explain my reason for not saying the baby's name. I wouldn't want to offend anyone!!
My daughter and the baby will be back home this July (when she's out of the Army) and I think what matters most is having a happy and healthy grandson. I guess you can say I'm trying to "let go" of it and except whatever comes! It ain't easy, but I'm trying!!! :)

Gail


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repeat the serenity prayer, then give him your own nickname and use it often :o)


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UPDATE: I'm a Grandmother!!!!!!!

I just wanted to update this post by saying my daughter gave birth to a beautiful and healthy boy on Friday morning. She's in Germany and I attended the birth "via a cellphone". ha ha There was a compromise on the child's name so I'm excepting it now and all is well. :) He's such a beautiful baby and I just want to get my hands on him SO bad and snuggle with him! Life is wonderful!!!!

Gail

Name: Jaydon Ademar
Born: May 3, 2002
Time: 7:30 AM (USA time--was 1:30 PM in Germany)
Weight: 7lbs 2 ounces
length: 20 inches


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That's not such a bad name! How did she compromise? I feel bad for her too that everyone hated the name - at least her friends could pretend to like it! LOL

Well, anyway, congratulations, grandma!!


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Congratulations, Gail. DH and I didn't care for one of our grandsons' name that they picked out. I told my son (nicely.)..including how he could be teased by it. I really think once DIL heard I wasn't too thrilled about it, she was adament about using it. Oh well! We (and others) call him by his initials (first letters of first and middle names.)


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Congratulations Grandma!


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Yea, congratulations to you. My dd had the baby in Feb and this year is so special to me too.
The name is fine. I'll bet you are happy bout that too!!
Hope you get to see him very soon.
I am finally getting back to see Baby Boy this week. Haven't seen him since his birth.


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from reading the thread, i'm thinking she used the first name she wanted as the middle name?


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Thanks everyone for the kind words and the congratulations :) River, you are right on target about the name! One of her friends had suggested the name Jaydon ........and she liked it!! (So did I) She kept the name Ademar which she had liked and dropped the middle name she had originally had. Ta Da......Jaydon Ademar! Whew, I was totally relieved!!!! We are all thrilled she came up with a name that was well received and one that respected her wishes too!
Gail


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Ohhhh! I LIKE the name Jaydon!

But I can totally empathize with the dilemma!

My second Grandprincess was born 15 months ago. (Princess Molly was first.) I had SUGGESTED the name "Jacy" if the new baby was a girl since I think it is a sweet name and the baby's Daddy is Jason.

Unfortunately, Dear Daughter liked the name Jacy SO much she decided it was unisex and was gonna name a BOY that if that's the way the cards fell.

Horror of horrors!
(Well, not really....but I suspect a little boy would have taken more than a fair amount of teasing with tat name!)

God blessed us with a sweet baby Jacy GIRL and she is simply a doll!

I am hanging ON to the name Jaydon for future refference.....just in case!

(BTW....I stumbled on to this forum through Gardenweb. I love my gardens but I love those grandbabies MORE! My apologies in advance for being an obnoxious grandparent. I'm sure I will be!)


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I love the name Jaydon! First time I ever heard it. I love Jacy too! I love J names. I almost named my youngest Jannah. Congrats on the new grandbaby!!


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I THOUGHT MY GRANDSON'S NAME WAS STRANGE TOO AT FIRST, BUT NOW, WHEN PEOPLE SEE HIM AND HOW CUTE HE IS AND ASK HIS NAME, THEY JUST LOVE IT. BEFORE HE WAS BORN, THEY WERE SKEPTICAL. I KNOW YOUR WONDERING......... HIS NAME IS JAZZ! (ANOTHER "j" NAME, WHICH THEY TOO INSISTED UPON!)


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When I was pregnant my husband and I could not settle on a name for the baby. I didn't want to know the sex before the baby was born so we had to pick one for each.

We never picked a boy's name because his names were so outrageous and he didn't want a Jr. My poor mother would cringe when she'd hear some of the things he came up. Husband is a very normal professional guy.

I thought she was a girl so I was pretty sure during my pregnancy that I wouldn't have to use one of his "creative names".

It came to delivery day (I was induced). Doc says, what are the names you're using? Answer - haven't picked names. He says you better get started, baby will be here by evening. Catherine Elizabeth arrived 8:21 p.m. that evening. She was named for each of our maternal grandmother's first names.

Name doesn't really matter, my daughter has so many nicknames it isn't really funny. I was worried when she was little that if I called her name in a store she wouldn't respond since there were so many girls with that first name at that time. Thus, all the nicknames.


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My DIL is pregnant and has settled on a very trendy name. I loathe trendy, but it's not my choice. We used all family names for our kids, and I've suggested a few names that we had't used, but I know it's up to them. One thing I wish these girls would consider today is that lots of these trendy names, which sound like last names, or place names are being used more and more for little girls, and little boys very much dislike having a name the same as a girl. I know from whence I speak as I teach in an elementary school. I had a professor in college named Taffy XXXXXX, PhD. I'm sure when those parents looked at little bundle o' joy Taffy that no one envisioned her being a quite stern and serious professor. Long ago, someone told me that good checks for names are 1. yell it out the back door to see if it sounds right. 2. Say, "my BIL (name) or my SIL (name) are going to go fishing with me this weekend." 3. Say " Presenting the Pres. Of the United States XXXXX" or "Nominated to the Supreme Court is Judge XXXXX." All of these tests should help one decide if you've chosen a name that will serve your shild well wherever he goes in life. The other thing to consider is that if you name your child what everyone else is there will be many in his/her class with the same name. Right now in second grade, we have so many Bens that several have to go by their first and last name because they have the same initials. Naming a child is such a heady responsibility. As MIL, I need to keep quiet, though.


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Sudiepav--add my new grandson to the Benjamin list! Interesting, I don't know another Ben if you don't consider Benjamin Franklin or Ben Stein.

My son was one of two Danny's in his class. To this day, when friends get together he is DannyP and his friend is DannyK.

To me, at least Ben and Danny are nice, mainstream names.


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It's funny I have searched and searched for a Grand Parents Forum and now I found one and it's just perfect !
This is my story, My DD is 20 and having her first baby ... It's a girl and due in a few weeks . Here's the problem : For most of the pregnancy she was gonna name the baby Jeslyn Kay , after her Aunt ,Her and Me. Everyone loved the name and we all called her Miss Jeslyn Kay for so long . well a few weeks ago she up and changed it . It's Bella Kay now,they love it I don't . I loved Jeslyn , I bonded with her as that name now I have to switch up and learn to call her that . I know this is silly of me but I am just learning to deal with it . It's not my Baby and I am just a Grand to her. I am not in charge LOL
I guess its silly but I had a Dog named Bella and my Sister has a horse called Bella.
I have suggested Isabella and we call her Bella ( Although I still want to call her Jeslyn I could deal with Isabella)
I guess I need to learn my place better LOL
Judy


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It's not easy to hold your tongue sometimes, but it's something we have to learn to do....darn it! :):)
My baby graddaughter is named Payton...Payton?? Never heard of a girl named Payton before. I held my tongue although it was wagging in my mouth, and now that Payton is almost 2 yrs old, I can't imagine her with any other name. Give Bella a try and in time you'll love the name because you'll love the baby so much!
Eileen


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Hi,fellow grands. I have 4 grandgirls KENELY,SAMANTHA,JESSICA &CHLOE. I have a new little one coming in july.We don't know the sex yet. Hear is the kicker, my dd was born 31 years ago this may her name, are you ready--MISSINA--. My mother had a fit.This was the 70's and it had to be her name. First mother called her MISSI then her name and all was fine. DD has always had people love her name and I have no regrets. The grands are 8,9,10 & 19mons. The 3 oldest are my dd and the youngest my ds and he and my ddil are having the new one in july I can't wait for new sugar. (nana)


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I just joined this group and I'm a little hesitant to speak my mind. Having said that, I am going to speak my mind. I apologize in advance if I offend anyone.
It seems to me the ONLY things a prospective grandparent should be concerned about is will the child be born healthy (beautiful is a bonus), and that your daughter and her husband are loving parents. The child's name? Really! I wonder how the name "Jesus" went over in those days. Wouldn't Joe Jr. have been more acceptable?

I'm glad you are pleased with the name that was finally chosen. (I have to admit that "Ta Da" did give me a chuckle.)

There is an online magazine (LetLifeIn.com)that encourages people of our age to live and accept life, whatever comes our way. There is room in the world for us all.

Here is a link that might be useful: Let Life In


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Haha...... I am really amazed that some think we should all of a sudden (as if we dont already) learn to accept life HA ! I think, as long as parents have been naming babies there must be family discussions of the babies name , Whether it be calm and cool or heated . I think I dont need a web mag to tell me how to do it .
BTW the baby has been born in my case and her name is Bella Kay and we all love it . I think in the end the right name was chose and I still think that a name should be a thought out decision with all involved ....
My Daughter thought at one time she would name the baby Blue Bell ... Im sorry but Blue Bell is a cow name and IM so glad she didnt choose that LOL LOL LOL...
hugs and peace... Judy


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My friends daughter named her son "Bastian". She hates his name and thinks it sounds almost like a vulgar word or even something sinister.

Gramma has kept her mouth shut. Our kids all have minds of their own. Yikes!


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Well Gparents might have to keep name shut but we can come up with our own nicknames for the gbabies (smile) 1st gson is Steven Kelly the 3rd He was not a week old yet when DD realized what she had done and having to Stevens or Steves in the house was gonna be way to confusing. So at that point the baby became Kelly in turn I started calling the baby Sonny.

Now DD is preggers for 2nd time I told her I don't care what she names this baby cause I'm calling him Buddy DD is just glad it isn't a girl cause I was gonna call her BUDDETTA.

On the subject of names I have a cousin who my Aunt thought she was to name Charlies Edward and put that on the birth certificate OOPS NO his daddy wanted him named SAM he's always been called SAM.


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I think when we speak up, it's only to present a point of view that the young parents might not have considered. My DIL was set on naming a baby boy Riley, and I told her, while it was definitely their perogative that at my school, Rileys (and we have several) are all little girls. And what's the deal with last names for first names when they have no connection to your family? My girlfriend named her little boy Dalton, which was her maiden name...seems very fitting. And to the grandma of Benjamin...yes, that's a great name, even if it's used a lot these days. My new grandchild will be a girl, and the parents have decided on Hannah, which is also well-used, but a nice, classic name. And yes, to another poster, we all as grandparents hope for a healthy child, no matter what he/she is named!


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