What do you mean, she wants to "Get her grandchildren"? Taking them for a whole weekend is a bit much really isn't it? Couldn't she just talk to the mother and suggest that she stays in town with the children instead of dragging them away? If she starts on the course of visitation rights she is in for a long haul and won't win any favours from the mother. Believe me, if my ex Mother-in-law did that she'd turn me right against her. Just something for your friend to think about.

I agree with the above post. Two weekends a month, two hours away is a bit extreme. I wouldn't be so thrilled either to send my kids so far, so often. Grandma should really should work hard at making more reasonable arrangements with the mom. It would be more fair if she stayed in town to see the kids rather than taking them so far. Getting along with the mother will be to your friends benefit, not to mention the kids benefit. She should make every effort to do that.

Well, the mother is on the run from SS now because the day care turned her in. One child had a arm out of joint and the other had a broken bone in her arm. She is with a boyfriend who abuses the kids and she doesn't want to leave him. She doesn't care about her daughter being gone over the weekend, she punishes the CHILD by not letting them see her grandparents. I'm not sure what will happen now, no one knows where she is. The grandparents have never done anything but support this girl and her kids, even had them with them for awhile. They were there for money, rides to here and there, and even took up for her against their son.

I believe it was in Washington, that grandparents had sued for more visitation, and if my memory is correct, they were turned down. The courts had said the custodial Mom was allowing visits (not as many as grandparents wanted), they did not want to interfer with the parental rights deciding how long or how often the children were away.

I am the daughter of the grandparents who are having a terrible time with the mother of their granddaughter. My brother, their son was the father of their granddaughter and was killed in a car accident about three years ago. Since then they have been on a rollercoaster ride with the mother. They are good to her and try to help her as much as they can, but nothing seems to help, or be good enough. They are considering legal action. Is this a good idea?

I don't think so, it would only alienate the mother and she would probably lose seeing the kids at all.

If there is concern that these children are being abused, thus the broken bones, I would encourage the grandparents to be more involved. If they need a more stable relationship in their lives and mom is not doing a good job of caring for these children, intervention of some sort may help the children. The priority ought to be what is best for the children here.

If the grandparents want to spend more time with their grandchildren, they need to put more pressure on their deadbeat son, the father of these grandchildren, to start acting like a father and taking care of them so they aren't subjected to the like's of mom's abusive boyfriend.

So your friends get a court order for visitation, what then? Do you think a person on the run from SS is going to follow it if she chooses not to? The key to solving the problems is to get the dad more responsible.

Because, face it, as it is now, the mom even with her abusive boyfriend (about which you only know from hearsay), is the one who actually is taking responsibility such as it is with the children. And she who has the responsibility has the authority.

Have the grandparents lean on their son to step up to the plate. Also recommend the grandparents do whatever they can within conscience to get along with the mother. Everyone wins if the deadbeat dad shapes up and starts acting like a father, most especially the kids.

Reading for comprehension, bucyn:
"My brother, their son was the father of their granddaughter and was killed in a car accident about three years ago"
Are you suggesting he act like a father from beyond the grave?

For those of you who replied, Talk to the mother, Try an open some form of ommunication and trust and then on top of that you suggest the Grandparents stay in town while they see the child. Motel rooms, meals, it takes money for that. Getting back to talking to the mother, some of you mothers out there have NO idea of what you are saying. There are those of us grandparents who as try as hard as we can to talk to the mothers, they just don't listen. they want to hurt the grandparents and they use the children to do it. I'm one of those grandparents who loves her grandson with all my heart and he loves his grandparents equally, but his mother has an anger issue and its impossible to talk to her. And currently the boys father is actively seeking his rights as his father to see him. She hates the childs father with a passion and the child loves his father with equal passion. You women who talk the talk right now. I hope and pray that when your children grow up and they marry and have children and something should happen divorce, death of a parent that you don't find your own self is a situation like yourself. No matter how hard you try now, you can not forsee your future. Set aside your opinion now and take a look at the love these grandparents have for their grandchildren and just pray you get lucky in the future and YOU never have to go through what we go through right now.