Where are all the proud Grandparents......?

19 years ago

No one has posted a message in this forum for months! How come. We can't have run out of proud Grandma's and Grandpa's, have we?

My Grandson is 3 years old now. He had such a rough start in life, 10 weeks early, 3 lbs, 1 oz. He was in the hospital for nearly 2 months, with tubes sticking out of him and being fed breast milk by a feeding tube. But he's a tough little guy and just the sweetest boy. He's prone to pneumonia but he's really good natured.

And to top it all off, he loves his Grandmas.

Laurelann

Comments (17)

foggyj
19 years ago
That must have been a very scary time. It's such a miracle that all goes WELL! Glad he's ok.
My daughter just told us she's pregnant. She'll be 35 in Sept., and the baby is due in October. It's the first pregnancy. She's quite worried about her age. Anyway we're thrilled at finally being given the chance to be Grandparents!
laurelann
Original Author
19 years ago
Foggy, if this is your first time, you're in for a treat! Congratulations! Who knew that being a Grandparent could be such a rush? I think I should have bypassed parenthood and gone straight to being a grandparent. I'm so much better at this! Your daughter is going to have a wonderful pregnancy, and you are going to have a fine grandchild. I keep praying for the day my daughter tells me she's pregnant again.

This is my little guy:
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Allright, I almost didn't open this thread, but then I remembered......"Oh that's right, I qualify!" LOL Cute anecdotes and your news is even better! Congratulations on little Mara Lee! I'll be watching for pictures, too! BTW...number 9 made me laugh out loud! Linda
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i read every word here because i am having the same problem with my son. again this is an old thread but im hoping it stirs up more attention. i tried to read calmly and not take anything personal because i truly want the situation to improve. and if i look at it honestly, well even tho my son has been kind of difficult i can totally understand feeling this way. when i had him i felt the same way. i didnt even want him to bond with strangers like at the grocery store. it must be a parental thing, you may have even felt it years ago about someone else and just forgot the feeling. hormones i think when it comes to these things should also be taken into account. i dont know about you but im headed for menopause. got all the signs anyway. also your daughters hormones can be off after pregnancy. personally, ive decided to back off and try to encourage their time together rather focusing on the time i want. thats another thing. how much is the baby being attached to you vs you being attached to the baby. i know because again when i look at it honestly i feel a very strong attachment to this child. and like someone said above i believe it could be unhealthy. i have always love babies and worked in a nursery at my church so that i could be around them more. maybe that is something to consider doing again. that way you get your baby fix and your daughter has the time to build the confidence she needs in attaining a strong bond with the baby. i am so fortunate to have stumbled across this site. it really opened my eyes. thanks to everyone for their honesty. it definitely opened my eyes to some things i needed to hear. and i bet once you back off a bit you will have the opportunity to share beautiful bonding experiences with both of them at the same time. peace love and happiness gezzi girl Here is a link that might be useful: my blog
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flyingcarrot, I totally understand. I have 2 stories to tell you. I'll keep them as short as possible. Ten yrs ago DH and I had just married, and his defiant drug using 17 yr old son, who had dropped out of school in another state, came to live with us and my 14 yr old daughter. DS brought guns into my house without my knowledge (I found out at 3 am one night when I heard him shooting outside my bedroom window, when DH was away on business, and DS said "I could shoot you"). He brought drugs into my house, with DD living there. He was totally disrespectful in everything he did and said. DH and I disagreed so much about how to handle him that DH almost rented an apartment for himself and DS to live in. After months and months of arguing/discussing back and forth, DH and I agreed that the best approach was to put DS in an apartment and pay the rent on it for 6 months, to allow him to get a job and get on his feet. Well, he would get a job and get fired within a day. Smart-mouth. This continued so long that he couldn't get another job. So we took him back. On and on it goes. Finally, after more and more of his disrespect, drug episodes, job failures, wrecked cars, etc, the final straw was when he offered drugs to DD. I threw him out on the street. I told him he could sleep in his car. And he did. It was sink or swim. He absolutely hated me when I put him out. And DH was scared to death that his son would die on the streets. So he kept in close touch with him. And he probably gave him money or food that he didn't tell me about. DS hit bottom. Well, he's 27 now, and we are more proud of him than we are of my husband's lawyer son. For the past 3 years this troubled boy has had the same job where everyone adores him, he calls us regularly, is polite and caring, tells us he loves us, and quite often thanks us for "kicking him out" as he puts it. He says he doesn't know where he'd be if we hadn't kicked him out. This one turned out great. This story is about my cousin. She began using in her late teens. She's now in her 60's. Her parents have always supported her emotionally, as parents do, because how can they not, she's their daughter. They also have always been there when she relapsed again, as users can do, again, and again, and again. At the beginning you don't know if your child will be the one who recovers or doesn't, which makes it so hard. Over all these years, they have paid for her to go to rehab over 30 times. Her grown sons do not allow her to see her grandchildren, because their own childhoods were so awful. For many, many years now she has lived with her parents, who are now in their late 80's and just about broke because of her. And she abuses them. Her sister has seen her kick her dad, and when he falls, she says she's too tired to get up and help him up. She's been convicted of drug possession and prostitution, and within the last 3 years or so she was in prison. When she's home she stays clean for a short time and then "disappears" for a while. My aunt and uncle's lives have basically been ruined for the past 45 years. I guess my point is that, at least in my cousin's case, she learned early on that her parents would always be there to take advantage of no matter what. So she has always done whatever she wants. And they keep taking her back, and she keeps relapsing, costing them money, emotional pain and anguish, and more. It's too late for them, but what if 40 years ago, after the 2nd or 3rd (or whichever) relapse, they had been able to know she wasn't going to get better? They would have been able to make an educated decision about their lives, rather than to carry on with such a cruel hopeless hope. If they had only set a limit to the number of relapses they were willing to witness and pick up after. I'm a mother too, and I know the kind of love a mother has for her daughter. It can just tear you up. I can't be sure how I would handle such a situation if it were my daughter. I'm also a grandmother and I love my granddaughter so very very much. I do know this: I would not stand by and let my daughter do something that is hurtful to her. I pray I would have strength to at some point before my life or my granddaughter's life is too negatively affected, to say enough is enough, and that my daughter is going to have to get things right. I would probably sit her down and help her work out a timeline for accomplishing goals, and then enforce it. And have a consequence/ultimatum spelled for if it isn't met. You are so right to be focused on your grandson. Now that the baby girl is in our picture and she has stolen my heart too, she trumps DD for the time being. You know why? Because she's an innocent child. So I have found my voice to DD about alot of things concerning the baby. I speak up about the baby. I think we have to speak up about the important things, whether DD appreciates us for it, or hates us for it. And your daughter's recovery is every bit your grandson's story. It's important that she be held accountable. Your post touched my heart. You will be in my thoughts and prayers every day.
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What you're doing is wonderful. Your grandchildren will be so grateful to have this, and their gratitude will multiply the older they get. I see nothing wrong in giving the same letter to each child. If you want, you could personalize them by adding comments, including each child's name, here and there. But writing two completely separate letters could quickly grow to unmanageable proportions. Giving them the same letter is much better than hitting delete! And it's possible you'll have a third grandchild someday. As a writer, I'm leaving behind so many shared thoughts and histories that my kids and grandkids will probably never want to read it all. My journals, files filled with saved letters, my blogs, family tree, and on and on, may end up being more of a burden than a treasure, but--as they say--it is what it is. With two surviving children and three grands (so far), maybe they'll just split it up. I think probably the biggest keepsakes I've created are in photographs. I'm the family photographer, and have created some photo books I hope will last a long time. Two I'm particularly proud of are The Second Nine Months, covering my grandson Joey's first nine months after birth, and From Poppy to Peachy: 40 Years of Family Pets. This year I'm working on Year One With Two (the first year with Joey's baby brother) and a book not yet titled about my extended family, including ancestors. Plus for a number of years I've been digitizing our family photographs--the ones I took when my children were growing up, and the thousands my dad took in the 20s, 30s, 40s, and 50s. It is quite a legacy.
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foggyj
19 years ago
What a cute boy! Great picture.
Funny how we have to go through parenthood, in order to get to be Grandparents. HAHA
The kids will be in Florida, about 8 1/2 hours away. they are moving from Colorado to Fl..
We are excited and we're thankful that nowadays there are so many ways to keep in touch. They didn't have all this technology when we had our children.
It looks like there were some good threads on this forum, I wonder what happened. Everyone's at the KT.
Jonesy
19 years ago
Where have all the Grandma's gone?
In the dim and distant past When life's tempo wasn't so fast, Grandma used to rock and knit, Crochet, tat and baby sit. When the kids were in a jam, They could always call on Gram. But today she's in the gym Exercising to keep slim. She's checking the web or surfing the net, Sending some e\-mail or placing a bet. Nothing seems to stop or block her, Now that Grandma's off her rocker.
laurelann
Original Author
19 years ago
Jonesy............I really like that!

Laurelann
gmom74
19 years ago
This is a new forum for me- We are grandparents 8 times over, soon to be 9. Our newest daughter-in-law is about 36. So far she is doing fine except her feet and ankles are swelling badly. I told her to let her doctor know and to keep check on her blood pressure. Another DIL had a son at 43. She had some problems and had to spend her last three weeks at the hospital in bed. But she and the baby are fine, thank goodness. We love that baby!!
laurelann
Original Author
19 years ago
How lucky you are Gmom74, to have all those grandkids to love. And another one coming..........sigh! So far I only have the one, but I am thoroughly enjoying every minute of him. I just never realized what a joy a grandchild could be. I'm pretty sure my DD wants another one but so far she's being very closed mouthed about it. She's very private and I know she wouldn't tell me anything until she's at least 4 months along. But I will have faith and wait (im)patiently.

Laurelann
Jonesy
19 years ago
We have 13 grands and 5 great-grans and I love them all. But the grandmothers with only one or two can have a fun time buying things for them. My grand daughter wanted an expensive shirt while we were shopping together, but I couldn't buy it for her. She would take it home and her brothers would not have anything. At that time we had 10 living in our city. We had to be fair with our gifts and with 13 it can get very expensive.
laurelann
Original Author
19 years ago
Fortunately, Jonesy, love doesn't have to cost a thing! I only have the one so far, but last year I stopped working, so I can't spend as much on him as I used to. He doesn't mind, though, as long as Gwamma plays with him and reads to him and chases him and hides on him and finds him and................you get the picture. I'm getting him next week for March break and I'm exhausted just thinking about it. I can hardly wait though.

Laurelann
Jonesy
19 years ago
It didn't matter with mine whether I bought or not, especially when they were younger. It was my pleasure I was thinking of. :o)
laurelann
Original Author
19 years ago
I agree with you Jonesy. It is a pleasure. Whenever I think of my little Ryan, I always start smiling.

Do you have any pictures of your crew? Can you post them? I'd love to see them.

Laurelann
Jonesy
19 years ago
No I don't I'm sorry. We have reached the age where I decided it was time to give them their baby things. I thought my sons and their wives and kids might enjoy them. the only baby pictures I have are of myself and my husband at about the same age. It's a hoot, my husband has a dress on and a ring with a ribbon tied around his wrist. His mom said "why did I put a dress on that boy?". :o)
Garden_Momma
19 years ago
Just jumped over here from one of the many different forums which I seem to do alot and found this. I'm a 1st time gram and had just met our grandson. He is just soooo the sweetest thing, he's 3 1/2 months now. To my surprise I hadn't forgotten what it's like to have such a baby around (i had nine of my own). We came from a large family and the time before too. But he's at the age where he is observing and getting to know the world around him smiling, cooing like heck and gazing into who's ever eyes sre there to gaze into. The family's all together, which is far and few in between and loving every minute. S&DIL will be bringing him down in June (to spoil the heck out of) for a few days. They are such blessings...

laurelann, what a handsome young man...Jonesey love your poem...gmom,hope all goes well with DIL and to everyone else too...Have a great day!!!
laurelann
Original Author
19 years ago
Wow! Garden Momma, nine kids? I'm impressed! I only had one and just couldn't bring myself to do it again. However, the one I had turned out to be just the most beautiful young lady, inside and out. I'm just so proud of her. She is now pregnant with our 2nd grandchild and we are so excited about it. Unfortunately, she is having some spotting problems, but her doctor is not too concerned yet and she's feeling great, so hopefully.......!

Anyway, welcome to this forum! I can see you're thrilled with your little one. You are going to enjoy him so much.

Laurelann
Garden_Momma
19 years ago
Yes, nine, and sometimes Im surprised by it. After tha ninth I said I can't do this anymore and fixed that! LOL...but I'm very proud of them, they are wonderful kids... We still have four more yet to fly the nest, that won't be for a while...Youngest is 11, oldest 18 (she has 1 more year of high school).
How far along is your young lady? Does she have to have bedrest? I wish she and baby the 'best'.

Thanks for welcome. Hope to be here much!!!

Juanita
laurelann
Original Author
19 years ago
Kristen is about months along. Her doctor told her she could go back to work, but not to do anything strenuous. I think the most strenuous thing she does is pick up her son, although he's not heavy, he is getting clingy. I think he suspects somethings up with her. I wish there was more that I could do, but he won't come to me, just clings to her.
She also went through this bleeding thing with when she was pregnant with him. The only thing that worries me is that he was born 10 weeks early, and spent 2 months in hospital. I'd hate to see that happen to the new one. It's a very trying time for the parents, trying to spend time with the first while being at the hospital for the new one. Especially since the H is over an hour away. Exhausting for all concerned.

I'm starting to blather............I'll shut up now. Thanks for your good thoughts. I've told her all about the KTers and all their good wishes. She was very surprised and delighted.

Laurelann
laurelann
Original Author
19 years ago
Sorry Garden Momma, that should read that Kristen is 4 (four) months along. Duh!

Where are all the proud Grandparents......?

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