Return to the Grandparents Forum
| Post a Follow-Up
Should grandparents be paid for childcare (new)
| | |
Posted by twodigit (My Page) on Tue, Jan 13, 09 at 10:03
| I too have kinda the same situation. My daughter got married last year and had her second daughter 3 months ago. Both her husband and her work nights and I care for my 3 month old granddaughter (the oldest daughter stays with her father while my daughter works). I was planning on going back to work (after long illness) prior to my daughter getting pregnant, but instead agreed to provide care for my granddaughter. I have her half of the time, since they work nights and need to sleep during the day I just keep her straight through for 2-3 days (3 days first week 4 days second week). I asked to be paid $75 a week and my daughter talked to her husband about the fee and he was upset and told her that was $300 a month they couldn't afford. With my husband being our sole source of income they make approx. double what we make each payday. Of course they say it is not the same becauce our house and vehicle is paid for. I feel like a jerk for asking them to pay me, especailly since I did not charge her to babysit the oldest one when she was little. I had her just as much as I have this one now, but my daughter was single and really struggling. If we had unlimited income I probably wouldn't ask to be paid except for right before this one was born we were discussing birth control and waiting a good long time before having another one and my son in laws response was well if she gets pregnant she gets pregnant. They have since gotten birth control, but if they hadn't would I be expected to take care of another one too. So part of the reason I requested pay is for them to learn there are consequences for having babies. When he pitched a fit about paying me, my daughter told him that was a lot cheaper than childcare any where else, especially over night. But each payday (every two weeks) I have to ask for the money they do not volunteer it. Therefore each payday I feel like a jerk for asking for it. I though my daughter was okay with paying me then this morning when she picked up my granddaughter she forgot to give me the money. I called her cell phone before she got more than a couple blocks and she said she had it to meet her outside she would bring it back. When I went outside to get it her exact words were 'There your paid'. I want to see my grandchildren and I don't get to see the oldest one very much but I would also like just a little spending money too. Am I wrong? |
Follow-Up Postings:
RE: Should grandparents be paid for childcare (new)
| | |
| You could have stopped right after you said you had planned on returning to work but decided to babysit for your grandchildren instead. Newsflash! You have gone back to work. You have taken on the responsibility of that child for the hours the parents are at work or sleeping. They are your employers and have certain expectations of you foremost is that you are available for those hours. If this is not employment I don't know what you would call it. I don't mean to be harsh but if you do not get this straightened out with your children they will never understand your position. I would suggest you sit them down and explain just exactly what they are expecting from you and give them the option of taking the child to another provider. You might even call around and get some competing fees to give to them. Then tell them what you expect to be paid, when and how. This is an employment arrangement and must be separated=rated from the grandmother grandchild role. |
Here is a link that might be useful: traveling and cooking with grandpa
RE: Should grandparents be paid for childcare (new)
| | |
| Yes, you should be paid, I agree with chaplainkent, it is a job. You are not babysitting, you are providing childcare, as you noted in the subject, and childcare is a job worth paying for. Around here, daycare charges are $200 a week, minimum, so they are getting a bargain. Overnight care is rarely available. But, if you framed this to your daughter as a lesson to be learned by them, I can understand why she's upset. You are both behaving very badly. They are adults now, so your attempts to criticize their decisions, no matter how bad they seem to you, are, of course going to insult them, as it would you if they made comments about how you live your life. You may need to back off for a while, while being as pleasant and cheerful as possible, always happy to see them; and start looking for a job. When you have some good prospects, you can frame the conversation around potential jobs and how they are going to adjust, and what it would take to allow you to keep caring for their child/children. Good luck. |
Post a Follow-Up
Please Note: Only registered members are able to post messages to this forum. If you are a member, please log in. If you aren't yet a member, join now!
Return to the Grandparents Forum
|
|
|
