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family gift giving

Posted by busybody_t (My Page) on
Mon, Nov 27, 06 at 19:27

Help!!! How do you let people know that you do not want to exchang gifts, without hurting their feelings?

Follow-Up Postings:

re: family gift giving great question

I have been wondering this for years.

RE: family gift giving

You can't. This year I finally decided I had to stop the nonsence. I sent the same letter to all sibllings. Since we have the youngest kids, it thought it was my place and we would seem least self-centered if we said ENOUGH! I had very mixed reactions to the same letter. Some were grateful, 100% understood my feelings, others felt rejected and that I was denying my family. Bottom line it has been my calmest, least stressed holiday ever, and I am glad I did it. All you can do is explain your wishes, talk about your feelings and ask them to be respected. What the recepients feel about it is so not in your control.

RE: family gift giving

arcy I would love the wording to that letter. DH's side of the family smartened up and decided that too many kids to get for, let's have them pick a name out of a hat. That has worked very well for us all for three years. Then there's my side of the family we see very rarely. We're not terribly close and I hardly know the kids. I know this sounds bad but I just can't stand it - they somehow get the gifts to us through another family member if we don't see them. And it's not just a simple gift. It's an outfit AND a toy for each kid, and a gift for me and my husband. Very nice but don't call us all year. We don't have the extra cash to reciprocate. This just makes us feel icky. I hate it.

RE: family gift giving

This is a toughy for us. We have 6 grown children,6 grandchildren, 2 great-grandchildren. We are a blended family.

When we get together for the last few years we do a "white elephant" type gift, usually Christmas Ornaments. It's fun and entertaining. Low stress.

This year, we are thinking "goodies" exchange. Naturally, I'm sure there will be the dreaded Fruit Cake. But, it could be mixed nuts, ingredients for a special drink, blends of tea, special cookies, fruit, whatever.

Still thinking.

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