• Mortgage is 511k - monthly 4k - 7% 30 yr fixed. Paid 566k Appraised at 592k but who cares? It is only worth what someone will pay.

• No 401k left and no investments left
• Savings 7k
• 2 cars 53k owed and 30k in credit card debt
• 1 son
• No health/life insurance
• Self-employed not dependable income- 2 yrs in business for myself . 20k monthly to July 1 contract that could cancel anytime with budget cuts in tech sector.
• owe 30k taxes

So do I just hedge my bets and stop making the payments on the house until I send my son to college? Catch up once every few months to restart any foreclosure processes?
I know I will never get my money back that I put down and I never meant to stay longer than 5 years. Am in house 4 yrs now.
The cash I am putting into this house I will never get back.

You agreed to those terms... so you should keep paying!

No.

Stop using the damned credit cards. Cut them up, see if you can get a consolidation loan that will give you a fixed interest rate on it, and start paying it off.

Consider downsizing the cars.

My car is now 11 years old. Runs fine. Does it look great? No. But I really don't care about how my cars look. They're not status symbols to me. They're transportation. As long as they are reliable and not on fire, I'm happy.

Mortgage rates are also going down, and people are beginning to refinance in droves. See if that might not be an option.

I'm looking at refinancing to satisfy the end of the 7 year balloon that I have.

Two months ago the loan I was looking at through my credit union was 5.5%

Two weeks ago it was 5%.

Today it is 4.75%.

I'm starting the refinancing process right now.

I'm sorry, but it looks like you bit off a bit more than you could chew a while back.

Could you or family members maybe pick up some part time work, so you don't lose everything? I'd try and hold on if possible and first get rid of the vehicle debt if possible if it isn't needed for your employment.

Could you take in someone for room and board?

Sue

. Mortgage is 511k - monthly 4k - keep paying that, you agreed to it.
• No 401k left and no investments left - no surprise here, lots of folks' portfolios are getting hammered. Or did you cash out with penalties and sell off investments?
• Savings 7k - pretty typical for Boomers and many others.
• 2 cars 53k owed and 30k in credit card debt - no words for that level of (insert favorite word here).
• 1 son - who should be made aware there are less expensive community colleges, 4 year colleges and universities; that he might be expected to aggressively participate in funding his own education; that he should take a course of studies in a field that hasn't totally gone down the tubes so there is a better chance of his earning a living upon graduation.
• No health/life insurance - count on not getting sick or just walk away from any medical bills as some people are wont to do; plan on a no-frills cremation.
• Self-employed not dependable income- 2 yrs in business for myself . 20k monthly to July 1. - pay down some debt, save what you can. Look back with nostalgia on living large and buying expensive toys.
• owe 30k taxes - work out a payment plan with the IRS; they're happy with something, not so happy with nothing.

If this thread is genuine (and forgive me if sometimes the skeptic in me takes over) and an honest attempt to elicit free advice from an anonymous public forum, remember you get what you pay for. Maybe it's time to seek out a professional and begin work on a plan.

• No 401k left and no investments left - cant be right unless you cashed out.

• Savings 7k - keep saving

• 2 cars 53k owed and 30k in credit card debt - get rid of the cars and buy 2 cheap cars in cash. stop charging and change your lifestyle to pay them off.

• 1 son - try to pay some but he will need loans or scholarships. have him work as well.

• No health/life insurance - get a full/part time job with ins. or try to buy on the open market

• Self-employed not dependable income- 2 yrs in business for myself . 20k monthly to July 1 contract that could cancel anytime with budget cuts in tech sector. - you may need more clients to help with your income.

• owe 30k taxes - why didnt you pay the self-emply taxes?? get on a payment plan.

good luck

But enough of that. 240k a year is plenty to afford that mortgage and those debts. It is just sad that you have no savings and such a large debt load. Your best bet is to leave the house - ie stop paying on it. You will be foreclosed well after the son is gone. Then you can go rent an apertment. Presumably you will be able to save with a smaller payment for shelter. Just remember - you will be renting for 7 years. Not the best long term financial plan.... 50 years old and no real estate - at your tax bracket.

From what I've seen, many short sales are very low balled on price and have never been approved by the bank. They just hang on the market until the bank decides to foreclose or the owner finds a way to make the payments.

As others have said, I think you need to do some major downsizing - a smaller place to live and less expensive cars. You also need to cut back on your expenses and put any extra money towards your cc debt. I don't think you can afford college for your son this year. But once you downsize (and get health insurance for yourself!), you should be able to help him out a lot. Good luck!

Good luck going forward in straightening out your financial situation.

If I were you, I'd sell the two expensive cars ($53K?!! just on cars???! you do realize that's one year of expenses (tuition, fees and room and board) at a very very expensive private university) and get two inexpensive ones (think Toyota or better yet, Hyundai or Kia)

Start marketing and shopping yourself for new contracts. If you're in business for yourself, you should never be with just one client - way too risky. If nothing less, shop your resume around to potential employers.

You earn too much for your son to get much in financial aid but when he does apply to colleges, fill out the financial aid forms anyway. You never know what may pop up.

Talk to a mortgage broker about refinancing the mortgage down to a lower rate. They're down to historic lows. Do NOT pull out any "equity" - just refinance for the lower rate.

Even if you do refinance, talk to a real estate agent about the local housing market. See what selling the house would do for you (e.g., could you sell it for $511K?)

Cut up your credit cards. NOW.

Read Michelle Singletary of the Washington Post - her columns are exactly what you need. This year, she helped three military families tackle their financial crises and one family was in much worse situation than you.

You're not the only one who has made financial mistakes. Lots of people have done the same thing (or the word, bankruptcy, would not exist). But you're the only person who can fix your mistake.

Good luck on whatever you decide.

To answer questions for more help....
My taxes are self paid so I put aside 6k a month and pay it qtrly.
7k cash savings is immediate cash.
When I say 401k is gone and my investements- the value went down in funds and stock to about 75k. But I can't touch that in my view to pay off my soon to be ex's credit card debt.
The credit cards were cut up a few months ago and have made good advances to getting that paid down. Took off my ex and filed for divorce and trying to get him to pay but he is doing nothing to pay on any of our debt, house or car.
My son has a college fund I set aside and that is paid for and he is going local - I saved for 10 years and don't want to rob him of his college money for my marriage and life choice mistakes.
The two cars are hard to rid of due to I am now single and car repairs scare me. Have never known how to do a 10 year or older car- One is a truck and we use that for the business which my son is working for me part time.
I am not in trouble with the IRS- I just have my taxes due is all.

NO one posted any sites to direct me to for help.
Are you legitimate?

Thank you for the HUD site link!!!

"No 401k left and no investments left "
or
"When I say 401k is gone and my investements- the value went down in funds and stock to about 75k."

Which is it?
--------------------------------------------------

"owe 30k taxes"
or
"My taxes are self paid so I put aside 6k a month and pay it qtrly"
"I am not in trouble with the IRS- I just have my taxes due is all."

Which is it? $6k quarterly is $18k. If you owe $30, that’s trouble!

Now that you mention a divorce…. It sounds like you need to make a huge life adjustment. You cannot live on one income that way you lived on two.
I agree with the others that you need to get a smaller house and/or get one smaller, cheaper car.

Always a good idea to learn to check your oil, transmission, and coolant fluids; your manuals will show you how and it's very simple. Doing that, along with checking your tire pressure once a week (okay, I admit I can seldom get my DH to do more than once a month!) will enable most autos to easily reach the 100K mileage mark with only moderate maintenance.

Forgive the other posters who started ranting at you as if you were some sort of criminal. It happens on occasion when people forget their compassion and start throwing stones after making spur of the moment assumptions that aren't necessarily accurate. Sometimes even the best of us forget that the anonymity of the Net has its down side, as well as its good side.

As far as I know, $6K quarterly is $24K annually, and one more quarter (either current or future) would bring you up to $30K - correct? Are you liable for the entire amount, or is your soon-to-be-ex on the hook for at least some of it?

If you have a divorce lawyer (and you do need a good one), ask what the law says about your husband running up the balance on the credit cards. Where I live, he would be on the hook for at least half of it, no matter whom he decides to live with.

Should you decide that bankruptcy or foreclosure is your only viable option, your course of action might be:
1) Stop paying the mortgage immediately. Unfortunately, many banks will not pay any attention to loan renegotiation until you are actually several months arrears on payments. Short sales cannot be done without the consent of the lender.
2) Bankruptcy lawyer consultation. It is much more difficult now to discharge debt in bankruptcy, and since you have the added complexity of divorce, you really need to have expert advice on both issues in order to decide what your best options are, in a bad situation.

I'm sure it's all very overwhelming to you at the moment, but hang in there. Put some cash aside; if you have to file for bankruptcy there are costs associated with this, just as there are for the divorce. If that means you apply for soup kitchen aid, well...sometimes we all have to swallow our pride and do what it takes to get through bad times.

Good luck to you going forward. Try to keep your spirits up, and take pride in the fact you are willing to face your problems and find workable solutions. Remember to maintain connections with your friends and neighbors; you'll need a support group - everyone does! The Net's a great resource, but not always the best community. Stay connected with those around you.

"If I were you, I'd sell the two expensive cars ($53K?!! just on cars???! you do realize that's one year of expenses (tuition, fees and room and board) at a very very expensive private university) and get two inexpensive ones (think Toyota or better yet, Hyundai or Kia)"

Well, I know 2 Accords or Camrys will set you back 53K. A suburban and a camry could be more like 70K. If financed, she is probably upside down, and would lose money selling them. Anyone here ever sold a car on her own? Its one thing to trade in, but quite another meeting strangers for test drives. I guess there is carmax, but I'm quite sure they are in full lowball mode in this economy.

Dump the house and get into a nice reasonable rental before your credit gets hit. You only need a couple of bedrooms. Call the credit bureas in a few years and blame it all on the divorce. You can try listing it before you start missing payments - its worth a shot, but your credit will be hit after the 1st 30 day late notice, so "resetting" the forclosure process will still hurt you.

One more thing to consider - will your business opportunities be hurt if companies check your credit (I know my employers do)? If that is the case you MUST list and cut your monthly expenses (TV, phone, food, entertainment, travel, alcohol) until you can sell for an acceptable amount. There may actually be some takers with these low rates, and sometimes "short sale" is just a gimmick that turns away buyers. Worry about savings/retirement later, you need to get out from under that house.

That's a typo in my post .
It should be...
Which is it? $6k 'monthly' is $18k 'quarterly'. If you owe $30K, that’s trouble!

$6k MONTHLY is put aside to pay quarterly. That's $72k for the year that you have for taxes. Does that mean you have fallen short by $30k? Meaning you owe the IRS $102k in taxes for the year?

That said, I still think your best bet is to try a normal sale of your house as soon as you can. And I would still look into downsizing your vehicles (maybe a two year old corolla and smaller, used truck for the business), cutting back on expenses and getting health insurance soon.

You've set aside money for your son's college. Is it in his name? If the money is in your name, maybe your ex (jerk!) could be strongly persuaded to help out with tuition costs this year.

I think "stashing cash" instead of paying your mortgage would only compound your problems and possibly lead to an even bigger amount owed to the IRS.

If you still think foreclosure and/or bankruptcy are your only options, don't make a move until you consult with an attorney. Good luck!

You are making several assumptions:
1. Toyota only sell Camrys. They actually sell less expensive models, such as the Corolla. Honda also sell the Civic for far less money. Are they fancy cars? No.

2. New car purchases. The OP can buy used cars. There lots of used cars selling for $10k-15k - heck I saw 2 year old used Saabs going for $15k.

3. Carrying $53K in auto debt is the default and it's not worth lowering debt if you can't erase all of it. Sure, she may be underside down and may still have some debt afterwards but likely it'll be less than $53K. She needs to run the numbers to figure out if it's worth it.

Finally, I would take a course at the local community college about basic auto mechanics. Learn how to change a tire, check the oil, change the oil, check tire pressure, etcs. I learned a long time ago that basic auto care is necessary. Ten years ago, I got a flat tire on I-95 so I changed the tire myself - not one person stopped to help me (maybe I looked a bit too competent).

We've sold a car to CarMax. I'm sure we didn't get the absolute best price for the car but it was a fair price (I had done some research on the internet to get a ballpark price). It was amazingly easy to sell to CarMax. I would recommend it to people who don't want to do it themselves.

I'm no mechanic myself and dh has no time. But there is a good Jiffy Lube near by me (I know they aren't all great but this one is) and I get basic maintenance done (oil change, air filter, tire rotation). Basic maintenance doesn't cost much. And a 2 or 3 yr old Toyota won't need much more than that.

Remember, these changes are only temporary. You make a ton of money girl. You'll be back on your feet in no time.

I beg your pardon?

Did you SAY you wanted a list of sites that might be able to offer you assistance?

It looked more like you were asking OUR advice on whether you should stop paying your mortgage or not.

Please pardon us for not reading your mind.

Having had this information, some of the responses deemed harsh would surely have been much more temperate.

Do you have room for room-mates? Even one other person paying rent would ease things. I always say that if things get really tough, I'm opening a boarding house.

Any other part-time gig you can do? Tutoring kids for SATs?

I do not know how you can get your call on the show or how to contact this advisor on Fox, but he really seems to me to have very solid advice and contacts. I have no connection to this, I have just watched it from time to time.

It is Dave Ramsey.
http://findingfinancialpeace.blogspot.com/2007/10/dave-ramsey-premieres-on-fox-business.html

In this market, I don't know if I would be in a hurry to put your house up. A renter might be a good idea, but be careful here because they could steal from you.

I would check your local area for a Woman's Financial club. You might even call something like League of Women's Voters to see if they know of any advice for women in your area. I just think they would get you started in the right direction.

Also, call the Small Business Association in your area.
I would talk to all you owe money to, like the credit cards, banks, etc and let them know that you want to work it out and any help they could give you would be welcome.

Go to www.google. com
put in your state or city and women's organizations
like dallas women organizations

Best of luck to you.