We Just "just fly by the seat of your pants". Growing up we went 'all out'. However, we have had maybe 3 Christmas trees in the last 18 years - the last being 7 years ago when I bought my first house. (THAT was 1 tree in past 15 years total!)

Since we have been perpetually 'broke', (& due to the fact that the last REAL Christmas we had, one of the 2 kids (not mine!) just ripped her packages open, tossed it aside and on to the next & next. When finished, wanted to open others'. When told "NO", she had a tantrum & wrecked it for the rest of us. She didn't appreciate anything - just wanted 'stuff'. (We even held OUR Christmas a week later so she could be there to celebrate with us).

That was a wake-up call for me. I profusely apologized to my son and vowed to never hold up HIS Christmas again.

Another 'wake-up call' was I was finding I was charging on the evil Credit Cards, and just as I was "this close" to getting them paid off...It was Christmas time AGAIN! Over & over.

NOW what we do is pretty much just stock up on food while the good sales are going. I don't go 'all out' with traditional Christmas (or Thanksgiving) dinners. I will fix a ham or turkey and some sides, and maybe it's even over three days or more! LOL (It's just dinner which we all need to eat daily)

As far as "Presents" - since my son is an adult and understands, we pretty much decide what we need, & most gifts are NOT surprises.

One recent year we all needed slippers. That's what we got. Another year it was socks & underwear. We needed that. That's what we got.
Last year was sweats & thermals. (It gets very cold here in winter. That's what we got...however, they were mostly ALL RETURNED a couple months later, because they were a brand that didn't fit right - all were too large! haha. AND, we didn't replace them.

This year MAY be sweats & thermals again, but the right brands, IF on sale for a decent price.

For my son, he prefers to do his own shopping, so, if I can't think of anything, he gets about $50 or $100 to get what he needs.

I DO stress about what to get my Mother though. That's always hard, as she's in her mid 80's, and has been 'trying to get rid of some of this stuff'!

Last year I got her 10 each $10.00 Gift Cards for the grocery store she frequents. I've thought about giving her USPS Postal Stamps or Paying her Gas Bill for a month...but it all seem so impersonal.
But, 'consumables' is what I try to focus on.

(BTW - ONE year, Many years ago in the '80's, I bought Mom & Dad a CASE (96 rolls) of Toilet Paper! (got it from the supplier from the compnay I worked for) LOL!

MOST EVERYONE needs T.P.!

"What do you do about the overwhelming list of teachers, soccer coaches and babysitters"

I don't have that problem, but I would think teachers, soccer coaches would (hopefully) have an idea of what's going on and understand. (how about some cookies or banana bread or???) BABYSITTER? Well, if young, a card with a little 'cash bonus' - (NOT Gift Cards - one never knows which store will suddenly close down these days without warning)

Anyway, Christmas was initially to celebrate 'Christ's B-day' - NOT for everyone to be greedy. There is a whole world out there with less fortunate.

The BEST gift one can give is to help in a soup kitchen or Senior Center, shut-ins, etc.
(NOTE: After that last Christmas incedent with the girl (I think she was bout 10 or 11 yrs old) who wanted it all but didn't appreciate anything; I wanted to drag her down to 'skid row', and FORCE HER TO FEED OTHERS! Never happened, but her parents should have exposed her to needy people)

Be thankful for what you have while you are eating soup or beans and a roll or bread on Christmas day. Many people don't even have THAT!

This year I bought a bunch of gift cards to a national chain of book stores. Everyone reads, and everyone has special interests and hobbies. The perfect one-size-fits -gift!

We save all year into a Christmas Club. It is automatically deducted from DH's paycheck.

When the holiday season comes, I charge EVERYTHING on the Discover card. Then, when the bill comes in, I take the Christmas Club check and pay it off.

LOVE using the CC and getting all the perks.

NO stress, NO surprises.. and best of all, no bills in January!

But do you recieve any interest on your CC account? Hubby and I use our individual spending accounts for presents and anything that we don't want to come out of our household accounts. Has saved lots of arguments when he gave money to his daughter and son or I spent more than I should on a plant.

Best advice is to take a deep breath and smile.

"But do you recieve any interest on your CC account?"
Yep.

I don't stress about it--gifts are for pleasure, both the giving and the getting. If it won't be a pleasure for me to give a gift, then I don't. I do fly seat of the pants--I love to shop for gifts in December--but I won't spend money I don't have.

Cathie54, you remind me of how special gifts used to be--things that were needed (or sometimes just wanted) but hard to afford or get. Socks and underwear count! It is nice to have nice, new (and maybe better quality) when you otherwise would just make do with the old.
It is often harder now to come up with something that doesn't fall in those categories but does say "I know you, I know who you are, this gift is about that"

The problem this year was that all of my bonuses, stock options and other extra income arrived around the holidays which was great for everyone else but us. That money could have gone to debt forgiveness, buying a car which we desperately need, a new mattress( our backs are begging), emergency savings, Dental work and a whole host of other things that would make us feel accomplished and better but instead we are sacrificing to give gifts to our family. I don't want to be scrooge but at the same time I want to make sure if we spend we spend wisely and it's frustrating to see a large portion of your potential savings and opportunity evaporate during the holidays.

I am hoping we get some kind of tax refund this year to at least cover the funds spent on xmas but I doubt it.

lostinit, I don't understand that mentality at all. You don't have to do what everyone else does just for the sake of it. For goodness sake, take care of your needs and don't blow your extra income on junk nobody needs. My DH's family was all about exchanging names for gifts, but we kept telling them "no, we're not interested." We were happy to donate to a child in need on their behalf (which is what we continually did and requested they do for us and eventually they quit including us in the name draw). I didn't give a rats behind if they thought we were scrooge- like. We have had home repairs, medical bills left over from my 8 year old when she was a newborn, trouble making ends meet and debt. Thankfully we're much better off, but we're not changing our Christmas spending habits. Too bad if other people have some unnecessary expectation of me...that's their problem, not mine. AND, our kids know all about Santa and that he is not the true meaning of Christmas. We talk to them every year about what to expect and to be happy with what they get...no insane feast of junky toys in our house. We only pay cash for the items that won't hurt us and have no regrets come January.

I would be very upset with anyone who sacrificed dental work (among other things listed) to get me a present....

please reconsider that thinking!

Visions of entitlements dancing in my head. lostinit, who are these people that need stuff in lieu of your dental work? Guess it's more important that you feel good about yourself even if your thinking is a bit skewed.

In these days with people out of work; former donors now recipients of food bank groceries, living hand to mouth, etc. - you should feel grateful your bonuses, stock options, and extra income come at all.

My sense of decorum keeps me from putting down what I really think of your Christmas indulgence plans.

Lostinit, you need to LOVE yourself and your family enough to put yourself first. As the thread started is looking for how people cope with the "Holiday Madness", I would say that your thread is the most heart wrenching.

The madness can only happen if you play along with the consumer buying craziness. Decide how you want your family to spend the holiday and don't let the media hype change your plans.

We have no small children in the home or immediate family. When the kids were small we did do the Santa's coming anticipation, the cookies, and presents under the tree on Christmas Day. So now at Thanksgiving we draw names with a wish list on the back of the name tag. The person can use the list or purchase anything they wish within the boundaries of the dollar limit. Our big thing is to have a wonderful Christmas dinner with all the trimmings, fine china, and good wine. Now everyone has a present under the tree, but no one has to spend an enormous amount of time shopping for stuff that people don't want or really don't need.

For neighbors and others they get homemade treats. This is usually either smoked salmon, mini cheesecakes, or cookies. My one neighbor makes the most marvelous caramels every year.

So Lostinit might I suggest you spend time and come up with some kind of inexpensive homemade treat and just give those as gifts this year. If they don't appreciate the effort, then next year they would get zilch.