Steve, you have me scracting my head and thinking more now going back to what i was trying to ssy but have hard time finding proper way. So DNA can change ? I go back now to wonder say a Mission fig if could be traced to be from its roots oversea's and then another growing here that was brought here and can be said for absolute what would the DNA markers say there realted close or maybe exact match? I go back and copy and paste what i said about this as if i try to type it again it might mean something different so .... i tend to lean this way-- DNA may say 2 types are very close and related but not the same, could tree have evolved elsewhere and somehow change to that climate making some markers not exactly alike as if grown i different area's same tree accimilated to the soil and therfore fruit color and leaf color are different-Example as its often heard here that 2 same types grown in different area's have a different leave or slightly different fruit color or even shape. I will be able to see if this is true along with others here as have sent 1 particular tree across country and up as far as Canada, so maybe in 3 or 4 years they can be compared to 1 another, a DNA test of that tree and mine i wonder what would show up in say 50 years from now if both trees survived just a thought that i wll never know answer too. END So i truly wonder if we are now seeing this in the fig world where tree's are very close match as UCDavis studies have found in some types, there was a discussion about how Dark Portuguese and i believe but could be wrong as its been a while since i read that post and Sals were very close i think it was Sals but not sure which. Perhaps this is slowloy happening or maybe just hogwash on my part of thinking? Martin

Hi Clare, When you do speak to someone at Ira Wood, tell them that if they have to restock the valve, that signals that they have it in hand. Tell them you will pay extra to have it expedited to you this week. Since they obviously do not have the part, and therefore, no restocking is necessary, they cannot get the part to you faster. I would do as suggested above and mention the Garden Web forum. If this thread ultimately ends with you being screwed by them, then I would imagine they have lost way more money in the long run than by not charging you the fee. Maybe you just haven't spoken to the right person there. Sometimes you have to deal with a manager who will have more authority to reverse a charge and often has more common sense. Give them a chance to do right by you and you may have a happy ending. I am in the midst of dealing with 2 Ford dealers about the service to my car. One messed up, but did the right thing by us in the end. The other committed fraud when dealing with us and I am awaiting a return call from the owner. I made it clear I am giving them a chance to rectify before I call in authorities. The first place was only guilty of a mistake yet bent over backwards to retain my business and make things right. I do not have high hopes about the fraudulent one, but have made it clear that I will pursue the matter and they will end up with a bigger mess. I am guessing they know they were caught and will try to minimize the fallout. BTW - I did report all the to Ford's HQ and will see if that is any help as well. HTH

I used to think morality mattered in situations like this, but I'm not sure if I feel that way anymore. I sold a house to young immigrants from Poland once, and their free-wheeling/creative aggression when it came to questioning financial rules was eye-opening. Afterwards I wondered if it was because they grew up with a less controlled economic system than ours. Capitalism is inherently ruthless at the macro level. Why should it suddenly grow a conscience at the micro level? Smart investing require making smart business decisions. Which path makes the most sense financially for your family, long term? Crunch the numbers, make a decision, and then live with it. Personally, if I were in this situation my first responsibility would be to protect my household's financial strength, no matter what it took.

Those are all good ideas. I already have some experience with keeping track of various papers and with filing systems--I have "my own" filing areas for the kids, for family health records, for my hobbies, and when each of my parents (who were divorced) developed health problems and dementia, I kept all their accounts, papers, mail, sales of homes, etc in "my" study. And I have some idea of how I would set up a filing system for all of this other stuff if I were doing it all for me. What is a bit more difficult is first, getting to the point where I can help and second, trying to see whether "we" are setting up a filing system that works for him, or me, or both. Meaning, what's a bit new in my thinking is whether ultimately he might never be able to keep up any system and so I take over more of the system and the filing and then tell HIM where stuff is, or whether he would collaborate and let me be "the consultant" so if h e wants labelled shoeboxes instead of files, that's fine, etc.--what I am trying to go to a new level on is, how to "feel out" the situation as to whether he is overwhelmed and will never ask for help but really wants it, or whether it is some line I can't cross. So I'm moving into being more pro-active but trying (very hard for me, sometimes!) to keep saying to myself, remember the big picture, the long haul, and not instant gratification, and also, bite my tongue when I'm tired and cranky and feel like saying something that is accusatory. Since he almost never asks for help, with anything, we all in our family probably think of him as invincible, and I'm kinda hopeful that he might actually want help if it's done right. harrietthehomeowner, I don't think outside help is right for him. But again, what will help me most in trying to do something now is to focus on family needs--that clearly I would never be able to take over, or even help out, with our papers and stuff if anything happened to him(illness or other) and I'm hoping even he can see that that would be a bad situation for our family. Whereas, if it's the guy's toolshed or hobby shop, you could just shut your eyes. cocontom, great point about the electronic conversions--he is actually the most "on line" person in the family and is probably receptive to doing more--mostly we have the busy-syndrome, where you have to make yourself carve out time to do things that will save time in the long run. One thing that is obvious is that I will have to find an extended period of time--don't have that until later in the fall--to actually start the project physically, but could be planning what types of shelving or filing equipment needed. I'm free to play around with floorplans on my own! This is one of those things where, since you can't move in the room, you need to haul everything out and say, what goes back in? It's like, you can't really sort through boxes of stuff until you have alternative destinations for each category. Here is one more interesting point that may test how committed I am. When we moved to this house, "his study" was to be this destination financial stuff, tools,etc, and "my study" was the combo guest room, photo file repository, various family-use items, and whatever I wanted, I guess. So I have guest linens, out of season decorations, hobby supplies, gift wrap, family mementos from my parents, and just "stuff" of mine, pretty well organized. And folks can get and use stuff from there, or I can get it for them. So--and wonder if folks can relate to this--I have a tendency to think I am using my space "well" for the family and he is not. You know how as the DW, you tend to think that ultimately all spaces are yours--it's hard to view any areas as sacred and off-limits to your organization and cleaning and meddling. So, if it somehow turned out that he could not "share" this filing concept, but said, well, if you're going to take over, do it somewhere else than my room, I don't know if I'm big enough to sacrifice my space to put all of it--I would have to completely re-do how my space is organized and would not have room for some of the fluff and stuff I have. I don't think that would happen, but I just wondered.