My brother and I recently moved my widowed Mom to my brother's house after she had another fall while living alone. My brother and his son moved her house contents into his house, garage, and an enclosed trailer he has. We are talking furniture, kitchen stuff, linens, art work, and STUFF.
Subsequently, she did not like living with my brother who is never home and works 7 days a week, so it was I who went with her to tour and choose a senior living community to move to. I arranged movers to move the furniture she needed: bed, couch, table, etc, and a small amount of dishes, towels, and necessary linens, and favorite art. I took the day off of work (without pay)to move her. She is completely set up and needs nothing more of the stuff left at my brother's.
I have taken charge of:
getting her house ready to sell, including:
painting her house
cleaning it
ordering new carpet for it
interviewing realtors
taking Mom to all new physicians (4 so far)
copying medical records to get to the new docs
taking her to a myriad of appointments (ongoing)
changing address
ordering new checks
overseeing her checkbooks and that bills are paid on time
turning off and on the old /new phone, utilities, etc.
hanging her artwork
installing her new chandelier
installing new phones and teaching her how to use
repositioning her furniture
installing "cat door" in the sliding glass door of the senior apartment
shopping for her for appropriate chairs she needed
ordering her new medications
taking her to coumadin clinics (she will soon use the little bus the senior place has, once I know her medical situation is under control and I no longer feel I must go with her)
I am taking another day off without pay Tuesday to go with her to several medical tests (got them all on one day for my convenience)
The list goes on and on.
I also work full time and her new apartment and my brother's house are both 45 minutes drive from my home. Her apartment and my brother's house are only 6 miles apart. My brother has visited her twice since she moved.
My brother, God love him, is now calling saying he really needs to have garage sales to get the stuff sold so he can get his house back. I appreciate that, but it seems to be falling on my shoulders. His weekend job is a fun one, where he makes tips and gets to work with his grown son, so he doesn't want to sacrifice any time to host a garage sale out of his own home.
I am tired, have sacrificed time away from my own home and family during this period. The LAST thing I want to do is have a garage sale in my brother's home, when he won't be around to help.
My brother has a grown daughter who has a couple kids and could use some money. She does have Sundays off. She could help me. Mom could come, and has said she needs to get over there to start price tagging, but she doesn't drive, so somebody would have to take her.
Now, she doesn't need the money that could be generated from this sale, and I bet it could make several hundred bucks.
OK, HERE IS MY IDEA:
I'm seriously thinking of telling her "Mom, I do not/ can not help with this project. I'm spent, and need to say no at this point. Brother will HAVE to take time off from work and do it. If he cannot or will not, I suggest you either offer hosting the sale and the subsequent proceeds to your granddaughter as a way to get some more money for her family, plus she is young and would have the energy to do it, and she lives nearby. She could get friends to help her, maybe. You don't need the money, quite frankly, but we do need to empty brother's house soon. The incentive to offer this project to your granddaughter would be that she could pocket the proceeds. You'd be helping the girl and her young family.
OR, Mom, I'd like to call Habitat for Humanity, let them bring a truck one day, and take everything away, and you can take an income tax write-off".
OK, as you can see, I'm tired, feel used by my brother, whose sole contribution so far was moving Mom to his house initially, and who is happy to call me and tell me to start getting stuff sold at his house, and he can't be there to help.
Please tell me what you would do.....I love my Mom and my brother, but I'm really needing to draw a line.
Thanks, all!
From, Acey
zone_8grandma
duluthinbloomz4
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