As far as the IRA,s, she had these long before we were married so I dont think I can touch those. As far as the trust for the kids, I think it is a good idea but it does not help me raise these kids. I could really use this money. I feel like this is just so wrong of her. Its almost like she does not trust me or have any respect for me. I know originaly, when my wife first got this policy, She has providing financial support to her mother to help raise a relatives daughter. That was many years ago and I guess she still feels she should have the money. I got a feeling that this money will tear the family apart.

housenewbie, That's a sound idea because if they don't do something like that there may be no money for them when they retire. quirkyquercus, As I said before it's almost impossible to find a home under $300k around here. I would be afraid of the neighborhood if they found one or, it would be such a fixer that they could have problems that way. They have paid off all of their bills and are currently debt free. Pamghatten, Taking your advice, would they be better off NOT putting down as large a down payment as they intended to do? If it doesn't help to lower the rate but also doesn't increase the rate...then they would be better served placing it into a CD. talley sue nyc, Their financial income (or lack of it) started their problem but their bad financial decisions have also kept them there. One of the things DH and I talked to them about was perhaps buying a small 3 apartment complex where they could live in part of it and receive income on the other two units. DS (thanks I was calling her SIL!) doesn't want to go that route because they've always lived in apartments. She wants her own home and I cannot blame her. terriks, thank you very much for the link. I have not check it out yet, but I will pass this along to them. kudzu9, I think that is wise to hire a financial advisor for a year or so. DH has had our guy for over 20 years! It might really help them to understand how to manage their money better. One thing I have to say is I'm surprised myself that they have now taken a more wait and see attitude with the money and are not acting as though it is burning a whole in their pockets. It brings hope to the picture.

Hi, I love to cook ... hope you're still around. Learning how money works is an interesting hobby ... and it pays well! How about making a visit to your local library? Many of them have some good resources on managing money and investing. Ours carried a good resource from the U.S. until recently, called "Value Line". Someone spoke of the Kiplinger resources in the U.S. and I feel that they offer good value. The Motley Fool people, advisors related to the stock market in the U.S. for years, at www.fool.com, began operations in Canada recently, and I read their material occasionally. As for how to proceed, I like to have some funds fairly quickly available on hand, in case of emergency. I don't like to carry "credit" card (really "debt" card) debt, as their rates are so high, and I pay off balances owing monthly. For years I've had a line of credit at the bank, usually secured by assets, for lower rate of interest. As to whether to pay down mortgage, compare the rates of return on potential investments compared to the interest rate on the mortgage, after tax in each case - mortgage interest rates in Canada aren't deductible (but capital gain on owner-occupied home is tax-free). I was born just before the Dirty Thirties, that major depression. Dad had a larger than usual farm near a village called Lambeth in southern Ontario, and I learned from him to be careful with money, to manage it wisely. I was 10 when World War II started, in 1939, for Canadians, and soon our hired help had gone to war, so what Dad and this teen-ager and a couple of younger boys got done - got done, for the next few years: the rest ... didn't. We got an allowance throughout the year, and Dad paid us for our work in the summer, just before school started ... and we were to buy what clothes and books, etc. we needed. We found it wise not to blow our wages, as sometimes through the year the allowance didn't cover what we felt we needed ... so it was good to have a cushion. After taking the courses that stockbrokers take, something over 30 years ago, I sold mutual funds, for a brokerage, not a company where they sold only funds managed by their company ... but didn't sell enough to suit my employer, so was "decommissioned". I've bought some (mainly stock-based) mutual funds, paying a commission on purchase, that have paid amounts each year, which have been reinvested in that fund. The management companies charge a management fee annually, part of which is paid as a trailer fee to the guy who sold the funds to me in the first place, as compensation for his ongoing financial guidance ... or to his manager, if he's no longer there. Don't hear from them much. Some of the funds have produced a better rate of return than others. I bought some stock in a Canadian bank, about 50 years ago, for $4.25 per share, paying about 15 cents a year dividend, and don't remember whether the tax rate on Canadian dividends was lower then than on interest earnings, which in Canada are taxed at top rate. Back around 2007 each share could be sold for about $107, and paid $3.08, at low tax rate. Later, involved some in the financial fiasco in 2008, the share price dropped to about $40 and the dividend stayed at the same rate for upwards of three years. The share price has recovered, now runs around $120. per share, and I said a few years ago that I hoped it would pay me each year what I'd paid in the first place ... granted, about 50 years ago, when each dollar bought more: it's now $5.44. I've paid not one cent to any agency to manage them for me. For something like 20 years I've attended a monthly meeting locally, one of about 45 across Canada, of subscribers of what many of us feel to be Canada's best financial advisory magazine, totally committed to their subscribers, as they don't carry ads. Usually about a dozen and a half attend, and I've learned a good deal about investing from them. Good wishes for learning about how to invest wisely. ole joyful .

Too many conversations going on here, but I will convey MY experience: My mother and father each had an IRA naming each other as beneficiaries. When my mother died first, my father inherited my mom's IRA--now he had 2. He changed both IRAs beneficiaries to the 3 children. We each had 33 1/3%. Upon his death, the IRA converts to a "Beneficiary IRA" which has different rules. Each of us kids could have taken a lump sum or spread it out over time. I didn't need the $$ so I receive an annual payment from each IRA. The number is based on MY age (minimum deistribution). I designated a % to be withheld for my federal taxes and I receive a 1099R each year. As executor, I would have been in charge of submitting the death certificate to the IRA bank, but each of the siblings handled their portion the way they wanted. Hope this helps.