I suspect what happened here is that when OP originally asked for bids, she asked that various item be "broken out" so that she would be able to do an apples-to-apples comparison between bids. Then, when the contract was signed with the selected GC, his bid breakdown amounts for items that SHOULD NEVER have been allowance items were included in the column labeled "allowances"...which he is now treating as having turned every bid breakdown item into an "allowance" item. Allowances should only apply in situations where the Owner has not yet made specific choices and where the final cost of the item depends heavily on the quality/price of the materials finally chosen by the Owner. That is, in situations where one could install very inexpensive but perfectly usable builder-grade stuff or go over-the-top with high-end selections that cost 4 or 5 times the amount of the builder-grade materials. (eg., carpeting, wood flooring, tile, plumbing fixtures, light fixtures, countertops, appliances.) Things like siding, framing, and roofing should NEVER be allowance items b/c, for example, once one has specified that a house is to be 2x6 framed with an all brick exterior and 30-year architectural shingles, it should not be necessary to specify the exact manufacturer/supplier of the 2x6s, the exact manufacturer and color of the brick, or the manufacturer and color of the shingles. There just isn't that much difference in cost in the cost of these products. With true "allowance" items (for example- plumbing fixtures) what SHOULD happen is that, once the build reaches the point where particular allowance selections need to be made, the Owner makes initial selections and then receives a full price break-down for those selections from Builder. This is done BEFORE the allowance items are purchased and installed so Owner can see how much over or under the allowance amount their initial selections will run. The Owner then either gives a final approval of those selections or modifies them in an attempt to come closer to the amount allowed in the contract. NO allowance item is ever purchased or installed in the house until Owner - with full knowledge of what his/her selections are costing - gives a final approval of the selections. Thus, no surprises at the end of the build. In fact, with our contractor, in every case where our final selections have run over the allowance amount, we have given the GC a check drawn on our personal funds to cover the difference at the time the allowance items were installed. In other words, we are paying for these overages as we go along... which also kind of keeps us from going over-board on them. It sounds as if, in OP's case, the way the contract was drawn up, everything with a number in the allowance column was treated as an allowance item EXCEPT that owner was never told what amount her "selections" were running - if she ever even made any further choices regarding these items beyond those originally specified in her contract. And now that the items have been installed, her GC and subs are treating "allowance" as meaning, we're allowed to charge her whatever amount we want. To the extent that type and quality of things like siding, roofing, framing, etc. were specified in reasonable detail in the original contract, and Owner did not upgrade the type/quality of materials used from those originally specified, I think Owner has a strong case that she merely accepted the bid amount GC told her he had received from a sub and therefore has a right to expect that price to be honored. Even with true allowance items, if I tell my GC I want a particular brand/style/color of faucets and he comes back to me and says, "I got a bid on those faucets and it's going to cost you $6000 for them," he can't come back to me later and present me with a bill for $8000...even if that is what he actually spent. Or, if I say, I want these light fixtures and he says "okay - I can get those for you within the light fixture allowance amount" he can't come back later and say "you owe me more money because the light fixtures ran 40% more than the allowance." I would recommend that OP see a lawyer ASAP. Her GC strikes me as a snake-in-the-grass type. If he had begun presenting these alleged cost-overruns early on...before purchasing and installing the so-called allowance items, OP could have begun taking steps to control the overall cost. Instead he waited until the end of the build and is now presenting them as "fait accompli" over which nothing can be done except for her to pay the bills. If it had happened on only ONE item, it might be possible that a single subcontractor pulled a fast one on the GC. It would still be his responsibility to either fight the extra cost with the sub or pay the difference out of his pocket but OP might want to help the GC out by splitting the overage amount with him. However, since the same thing appears to be happening with practically every sub, it looks to me like the GC is in the middle of this. He may even have conspired with subs to have them present inflated bills and then give him a kickback on whatever extra amounts they are able to squeeze out of Owner. This would constitute fraud and conspiracy to commit fraud and breach of GC's fiduciary duty towards Owner. And, if GC makes a pattern and practice of presenting homeowners with inflated bills at the end of a build, it is quite possible that he may be liable under the state's Deceptive Trade Practices laws. How all of this will play out ultimately depends on the law in OP's state, the exact wording of her contract, whether there was ever truly a "meeting of the minds" in forming the contract (which is a prerequisite for a valid contract to be formed) and whether a good lawyer can find evidence of a conspiracy between GC and subs to commit fraud or DTPA violations ...which would require an investigation into the GC's relationships with other customers. Even without a finding of fraud/DTPA violations, it is quite possible that a court might find that the two sides were understanding the so-called contract in such totally different ways that there was no "meeting of the minds." The contract could be invalidated on this basis and, if it is, the law of equity would take over and OP would be required to pay the GC for the equitable value of the home she received plus an equitable profit to the GC. That could wind up being significantly less than the final bill GC is now presenting her with. Good luck.

Thanks, Pesky but I don't want a bunch of random strangers running around my house. It worked for your Mom because the lady wasn't going to be there again and everything was being sold so it didn't matter. Items being sold from my house will be outside in the yard or Ebayed. Primarily the family is splitting things up so as much as possible remains within the family, as per Mama's wishes. She had nice pieces. Not really my taste but some pieces can be easily incorporated. I got the rug (not a word was said about it when DH said he wanted it). We won one painting that DH wanted but we have decided on a rotating art exchange, so even the paintings he didn't get will show up again. Plus there are plenty left to hopefully share with grands. Dad's paintings are his legacy. There is so much glass no one is really interested in. China? No thanks. We have our own sets that we don't use and who needs more? There is a crystal perfume bottle like hers on EBay for $99., Buy It Now. It hasn't sold and who knows how many times it has been listed. SIL and I stayed out of the fray completely and let the boys flip coins for things more than one wanted. After the siblings got what they wanted, we invited SIL to pick what she wanted from what was left. BIL and SIL are going home with a truck load this morning. I know this was a great family and SIL isn't a snake. She is a self confessed control freak who showed tremendous restraint this weekend. If she can't control everything but can respect the process, she seems good. I think the process we used worked. I'm learning more about who SIL is ( in her heart) and how to work with her. My own challenge is to work us through the initial bulldozing of any given situation without feeling flattened. This IS a wonderful family. On to deal with her annuity and a small life insurance claim. The house is bound by a two year lease. Houses in her area are going into bidding wars right now. We discussed the possibility of buying the tenants out of the lease and listing it for sale while the market is hot - AND before the next bubble bursts. I think we need to trust it will all work out the way it is supposed to work out. We don't need to decide that right now. We do need to follow the market down there and look toward a paint job to freshen up the outside.

Ahhh, the question to end all questions. I am househunting as well, and have asked myself the same question many times, so I don't know that I have the best answer for you. Plus you factor in the differences in opinion between the family members and that makes it even more complicated. It is different for every person out there that is house hunting based on their needs. Here is one thing that helped me a bit when my mom pointed it out based on something that I said about one particular house....think of how you live and your day to day activities. Now think of doing all that in that house. How does it work? Are you struggling to find a place to put your coat and shoes without a coat closet? Is that important to you? Are your kids bikes in the way of backing out your car when want to navigate that tight driveway? When you wake up in the morning, do you want to have a quiet place away to drink your coffee and check your email like that loft? Or will that just be wasted space that you feel that you have to furnish and wont ever use? If you want to have children, what happens with the 3 bedroom thing? What if your teen kids don't want to share? Just sit back and imagine yourself living there. Reality is, some things will drive some people crazy, when it is embraced by somebody else. The house hunt is obviously filled with give and take, but what matters the most is what works for you.

"“There are no bad guys in all this,” Goldman said of Carlyle and Plaza del Rey. “When I see people saying ‘It’s really expensive for me,’ I say if you’re not working in high tech, which requires you to be here, why are you here? If you’re here, you’re making a decision every minute you’re here that the cost of being here is worth it.” what an incredible idiotic thing to say. what if you feed the ones who work in high tech, teach their kids, nurse the sick and the elderly? A city can't exist if it's populated only by X people. It needs the whole alphabet array of folks functioning properly you know the numerous strikes of different unions in Jerusalem where I lived for many years showed me who's the really more important to the infrastructure-and you'd never tell. teachers-can go on strikes until everybody's blue( which they do. lol). nurses..reach agreements a bit faster. still might take a couple of weeks. i remember them being on strike even longer once. doctors-goes faster with them than with nurses city bus drivers-couple days and their requirements are met waste management? all it took was several hours of not picking the trash ..in 35 C heat. they were all set by the evening of that very day lol thank you for sharing that article..and I read each and every response with great interest here in Southern OC young families can be outbid for months in a row on the most affordable homes in 400s-500s and such..usually these will be small attached condos in okay parts of the cities with okay schools, nothing remotely fab. New construction-no lot, stupid layout, probably costs like our remodeled fixer upper( maybe including the cost of remodel)..tons of association fees, and I'm not even sure what these associations do Our condo we sold-yeah they were PITA sometimes with their constant repairs maintenance and beautifying..but on the other hand they did repair maintained and beautified:) (except for a big miss when they decided to paint exteriors a new color. without consulting me ahahaa. or anybody for that matter) The rental for my MIL is already approaching 2K for a tiny one bedroom apartment, built in 60s, nothing to look at, the complex looks like my life lol, maintained but not updated in any way, very basic, laundry outside(and you need to pay for it. the nerve of these people)..the only good thing about it is its location-close proximity to us, to shops, library, parks..especially to one of the parks that she loves that's several steps away. Gives her some independence, us-some peace of mind knowing that we can be there in 2 min pick her up for whatever, and she has her room in our place if needed. Still I remember coming here from Stamford CT where we lived, on and off, for seven years altogether, and being somewhat pleasantly surprised by the prices:) It was 2010. (some cities in CT are very upscale and look that part but Stamford even though it's right there surrounded by them, could use..I don't know..could use something LOL. Some revolutionary thought. Like, clean the damn ice in the winter?)