Ok - we can all relax. I have at least! :) We met with builder #1 on the proposal and discussed all the items, etc. DH grilled him....but in a professional/respectful way. A few things he had down re: allowances for items I selected were listed at his cost, not what we identified/expected as the pricing/allowance. So, the items we selected were covered and there's no issue. (ex. - my hw floors, same vendor/floor but the vendor sells to the builder at a reduced price) So, all the drama over my hw floors was for nothing :) A few other items, he had alternative suggestions for because his contractors prefer certain brands, etc. However, he did say he was willing to put our selected brands in and not impact the total $ as it was negligible amount, and he hates paperwork and didn't want to figure the difference. :) Then there were some items we had not specified so he did a middle of the road pricing and told me to let him know what we wanted and he'd include it. And (how stupid do I feel) he also had with him a list of all the items a client selects. In there were my items to date and he said we will continue to fill in over the next month with additional items I select. Anything not selected will come from an allowance he'll update the contract with. We did not get through everything and have a follow up meeting scheduled for next week. Of course, it would have been nice to know this when we received the proposal. I would have spared everyone my "venting" thread, and I wouldn't have had this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach for a week. Which, I shared with him during our conversation. But, I do feel much better about the situation. So, all in all, DH & I decided builder #1 is horrendous with paperwork. And, I can deal with that issue various ways. We are going to wait to see what the final # comes in from him before making a final decision. The good thing that came out of it was a sanity check re: the 2 proposals and what builder #2 offered re: pricing. We aren't that far off (from what we can tell...it really is nearly imposssible without selecting every little thing). Oh, interesting note...we found out inadvertantly that builder #2 was the builder for a another friend of ours. Sent them an email asking about their experience...and all she replied with was "nothing I'd respond to via email, but happy to talk with you". I thought that was interesting! Given the misunderstanding on our end with builder #1, his references and the response from my friend on builder #2, we are leaning towards builder #1....

First of all, thank you all for your thoughtful comments. Not much to report, really. First an almost-funny but not really aspect of the visit... earlier in the afternoon DS said to me, "They're not going to stick that q-tip thing down my throat are they?" I said of course not, that's for strep. Again, he is the best kid, never a drama queen (older DS has that job), but he has this vomiting phobia which includes a huge fear of that strep test because of the gagging issue. He has had strep once, and has had the test maybe twice, but it was so traumatic! And PS the last time he had it done was at least 5 years ago and it was a huge ordeal. So, we went to the doctor -- who was not our usual doc, but one we haven't seen before -- and explained the situation. By then DS was beside himself, could not get comfortable in the exam room, kept going back and forth to the bathroom, etc., while we waited in the exam room for the doc to show up. Doc examined him, noted that he has gained something like 15-20 lbs. since Oct. (he has also grown about 4-5 inches since then), and sees that he has a low temp of 99-point-something. So he says, "It could possibly be strep -- sometimes the only symptom is stomach upset. We need to do a test." And DS loses his mind. It was almost comical but not really. It took a good 20 minutes to get him to cooperate. It was ridiculous, really. And again, this is my kid who gives us NO trouble, ever, so it's just weird to see him act like this (tears, refusing to open his mouth, acting like he's going to leave the room). Anyway... after all that, the quick test was negative. (I was actually hoping it was strep so we could show him that the test was worth doing! Not to mention an easy fix w/ antibiotics. So, basically the doc said there is a stomach bug going around (as well as strep), and that is likely what he has. He said to call if it gets worse, of course, but he thinks it will resolve itself. He didn't seem overly concerned about the on-and-off minor stomach issues that I mentioned, but I also didn't press the issue because frankly, after the Huge Drama over the strep test, I just wanted to get out of there. My plan now is to see what happens over the next few weeks, especially as school gets closer. He's going to high school in Sept., so I'm thinking a new school may mean some anxiety and we'll see if stomach issues come up again. If so, we will make an appt. to see his regular doc and talk about what to do. What I think, knowing DS and observing him all this time, is that he gets nervous about things sometimes. Older DS has major anxiety issues and is very vocal. Younger DS probably has some minor anxiety issues but he is not vocal about them at all, so he stuffs it inside and it affects his stomach. Then he has this vomiting phobia which compounds the original problem, because then he's afraid of vomiting, which makes him more nervous and thereby makes his stomach feel worse. I could totally see it yesterday. When he was home, he seemed OK -- not eating much, still going into the bathroom occasionally when he thought he might vomit, but basically OK. When we got to the doc's office, I think he became even more worried about vomiting in public, so he was antsy and going back and forth to the bathroom every 5 minutes. While I was watching him, I realized he was acting the same exact way in the airport in June when he was feeling sick. We were in the security line and he was convinced he was going to vomit and his whole demeanor was exactly the same as in the doc's office... and he never did throw up. And he was totally fine by the next day. DS is sooo much like DH in almost every way -- they look alike, they act alike, and I suspect DS has inherited the adolescent stress issues that DH had at the same age. DH confirmed last night that he was the same exact age when he started getting really bad migraines. They stopped after a year or two. Maybe it's growth/puberty related? He has been growing like crazy -- as I said, about 4-5" since last fall. Anyway, I will definitely keep an eye on him and by the way, he slept through the night last night without getting up, and is still sound asleep, so I suspect he might be feeling better today. I still can't be sure if this particular stomach issue is really just a little stomach bug, or if it's anxiety about camp, but either way, hopefully the 'bug' will pass within the next 1-2 days, or the anxiety will pass once he gets to camp and gets into the routine there. (Camp is only an hour from home, so worst case scenario, we can run up and get him at any time.) Then I'd like to visit his own doc at a time when DS is actually feeling okay, so he's not emotional or just feeling ill, so we can talk about the whole situation. He actually has a physical coming up in Sept/Oct so that may be the perfect opportunity, unless things get worse before then.

Never accuse anyone without proof, simply because you 'think' they may have done something. Years ago, I was missing money after a family party. I kept that to myself, because the only one I could think of doing such a thing was my 8 year old nephew--not because he was untrustworthy, but simply because he was the only child at the party, and I couldn't imagine adults doing something like that. Well, fast foward about 25 years--one of the other guests was proven to have stolen a quarter of a million $$$ from a disabled relative. I still don't know who took my money, but it's obvious that there was more than one possible suspect. Look, in the past few months, anything could have happened to those coins. Maybe you put them away someplace 'safe' and forgot about it--I've done things like that. Maybe a guest in your home took them. Or possibly you had someone in doing work (electrician/plumber/rug shampooer/chimney sweep). If your home is anything like mine, I don't know how you could assume that one person was the likely culprit--so many people come in and out of a person's home in a few months. Surely you have some record of the coins--I collect them, and keep a detailed log of what I have, when/where I bought it and for how much. You have to, to be able to have the proper documentation. Your husband almost certainly has those records someplace. I'd take a look around to see if you can find them. Lastly, I'd strongly recommend that if you have any other valuable items, take pictures of them for a record (and store the pictures away from the items themselves), and please, get yourself a safe and have it properly installed. With coins, you really do have to be so careful, because they're small, easy to hide/transport, hard to trace and easy to sell. Even so, I'd call the police and make a report. They will understand that if this was your husband's collection you may not have so many details--but you still need to report it, and who knows, something may just turn up. Sorry about yoru loss, good luck with working through the aftermath.

lukiirish - It truly is disturbing. I think the reason prosecutions fail (read: don't happen at all) in these scams is because the people are beyond the reach of U.S. jurisdiction. Technology is such that these people can set up (or more likely clone) U.S. telephone numbers, email addresses, etc., so people believe they are speaking to someone in the United States, but they are actually speaking to someone 5000 miles away, where the costs and logistics of bringing them to the US for prosecution are prohibitive. The crooks know there is zero risk of prosecution, which is why they are so bold. I wanted to state more clearly what I alluded to in an earlier post: It is IMPERATIVE that you learn how to conduct legitimate transactions over the internet before you buy or fall victim to a scam. In my experience, eBay and credit card companies are generous with their protection policies, but you have to conduct the transaction within the company's terms of service, in order to receive the protections. For eBay, that means setting up your account, enrolling your method of payment with PayPal, conducting the transaction ENTIRELY within eBay's borders, and knowing the timeline and process for filing a claim should something go wrong. You cannot conduct any portion of the transaction outside of eBay's domain (PayPal is a part of eBay). If you follow these rules you WILL be protected if the worst should happen. Finally, do some research on who you're buying from before you contact them or place a bid. You want to look for a seller who has a lengthy history on eBay and a perfect customer satisfaction score. I personally will not bid on anything unless the seller has been on eBay for 2+ years and has a 100% feedback rating. Keep an eye out, too, for sellers who have only been on eBay for a short time but have dozens of excellent feedback in that short period of time. That is a tell-tell sign that the feedback is manufactured to set up the confidence game. I know this is of little use to the OP, but I hope it helps someone else avoid being taken advantage of in the future.