I think an update is in order ...long overdue. Thank you for your well wishes rose friends :-) I am doing so well weight wise - have lost 110 pounds and I am getting in better shape every month, by running, biking, swimming and weight training. I have had no complications from the surgery what so ever (Yet?) - I take my vitamin supplements and I eat very healthy - smaller portions than before. I just do not tolerate sugar - it makes me really sick (metabolic dumping syndrome - heart races - I sweat and get nausea - so I stay clear of foods with too much sugar). But loosing weight has also made me regain myself or discower new sides of myself. I have had to work hard on healing years of sexual and physical abuse as a boy - since I have become more in touch with my feelings - my core self - and it has been rough and not always pretty as roses in may. I was assaulted and it retraumatized me and gave me anxiety problems and the court case was tiresome ...to have him sent to jail. For a while I coped by drinking way too much - so I had to bite the dust and admit - that I had to quit drinking - that it was no way to cope with emotions running up and down ... it has taken and still take some therapy ...but I feel better and stronger and more grounded. I am looking for a bigger house ... so I am in between gardens - At least I will be able to keep my rented allotment gardens I use for cutting roses, propagation and veggies/herbs. It is spring so I work my butt off preparing the soil, building raised beds - but it is nice. Most new roses I buy this year I will grow in pots - so I can take them with me to the new house and garden (When I find one I can afford) and I hope that the garden will not be too shaded ...since it will limit the number of roses I can grow. I really look forward to the spring flush - 8 weeks and the roses will start blooming and 10 weeks - peak bloom! Ahh ... (hope the weather behaves the 3-4 weeks they peak!). I do the last pruning and weed these days ... I have not blogged about roses and gardening ... I have had to prioritize and work on the issues I mentioned. Roselvr: Yes - it is important to find a good surgeon that specializes in WLS surgery. And yes there is a risk of complications - but the chances of of improwing life quality is much better - and far out-weighs the risk of complications - most of which can be managed. But all surgery has risks of complications ... Doug - How blessed I was - to be able to meet you in Iowa. I often think of you and your wife and hope you are doing well - and that your rabbits do not eat all your roses. Hugs! Ingrid: If you have read this far - you probably understand why I have not posted much - but just read and lurked here on the forums the last year. The reason you have not seen pictures of me as a big guy - was that I was very good at avoiding camera lenses :-) I will post a before and after picture - this summer. Alida - Sure I remember you! I hope you and Gerbe are doing well - even though I must say that rose does not repeat well - I still love the scent of the flowers.

Erica and Josh, my thoughts and prayers are with you! I am a bit older than the two of you but have a similar story. i am in my mid-30s and the oldest of 8 children. Both of our parents passed away in 2008. Our dad was diagnosed with advanced colon cancer and passed away after a very hard 3 1/2 month battle. Six months later, our mom was diagnosed with advanced breast cancer and passed away a month and a half later. It was a devastating time for all of us and most especially, our youngest brother who was still in high school. Our grandmother had lived with our parents for a bit and fell ill in 2007 and passed away that spring - this was during my brother's sophomore year of high school. During his junior year, our dad got sick and passed away. This was an incredibly hard time for my brother because he's the only boy in the family so if our mom wasn't home to help our dad go to the bathroom at his bedside and my husband wasn't there, our dad would get my brother to help him. There were times when our dad would try to get up in the middle of the night and because he was so weak, he would fall on the floor and then our mom would need my brother and sister to help her pick him up and get him back into bed. It was devastating to see our parents deteriorate so quickly and especially hard on our brother to have to take on so many difficult adult responsibilities at such a young age. Our mom was diagnosed with breast cancer at the end of the summer just before our brother started his senior year and then passed away a month a 2 weeks later. So our brother dealt with 3 major losses throughout his last 3 years of high school. As soon as my mom passed away, i immediately went to the court to get official custody of my brother. My mom and I had talked about me and my husband taking on a guardianship role. Because my brother was 17 at the time and would turn 18 a month and a half later, we got court appointed custody rather than full guardianship. Guardianship would have taken several months to put in place and go before a Judge and at that point, my brother would have been 18 which would make guardianship more difficult. With custody, it is me and my husband vs. my parents but because my parents are deceased, they cannot argue any of the guidelines of the custody agreement. We needed to have some form of official documentation stating our custodial responsibilities in order to get my brother under our health insurance and thankfully, this worked. Erica, it is wonderful that your father set up a trust to help you with school! I wish I could say the same about our parents. Unfortunately, they were not at all prepared for what might happen if they passed away. There were no Wills, no education trusts, nothing to help out with any of the costs to help raise the younger siblings who needed help and guidance, both financial and otherwise. One of my sisters and I are administering the estates (my grandmother, mom, and dad's estates) and our lawyers made it very clear that no estate money could be used to help with education because even though my brother was 17 at the time of their passing, our parents had every right and opportunity to designate money to be left to help with education costs. It was incredibly frustrating and left me in tears many times as I tried to work step by step to figure out how we were going to manage everything financially. Both my husband and I were still paying back our own student loans and I had been laid off from my job shortly after returning back to work after my mom's funeral. I think that changing the dynamics of switching roles from sibling to a parental role can be quite a challenge in many ways. It can also make you feel very isolated from others, even from your family and other siblings sometimes because there can always be those who question how much control you should have, among many other things. Most of my friends have babies or small children so it was hard to find someone I could relate to who could at least understand what it's like to have a child in high school who would soon embark on all of the excitement of senior year - senior trip, prom, graduation. I can remember heading to the bookstore shortly after my mom passed away, pouring through the shelves, looking for any books that would help explain how to handle the transition from sibling to parent... how to raise your teenage brother. There was nothing. The best I could do was buy a book about raising teenage boys and even that wasn't much help because my brother wasn't just an average teenager but one who had been through an enormous amount of trauma and loss. I found that working through the school was a good place to start. His guidance counselor recommended an excellent therapist that some of the other parents had also recommended. This therapist has been wonderful and I am so glad that I thought to ask for resources rather than just trying to wing it on my own. My brother has gone through issues with depression, substance abuse, and thoughts of harming himself. Just recently, he reached a very low point and we were able to find a wonderful treatment program for him and he's already sounding like his once happy, comfortable self. I am so thankful that this program has been so helpful to him and has been teaching him the coping skills he needs to help him get through the rough times which tend to fall around holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries of their passings. The 2nd anniversary of our mom's passing was earlier this week in fact. In spite of the difficulties, my brother graduated from high school and went on to start college, then realized after his first semester at that school that he wanted to transfer to a school where he could follow his passion. He is an incredibly talented musician and wanted to study recording arts. Once he was settled in a new school, learning and studying in a subject matter that he loves, he really began to excel. There have been bumps in the road as he and the rest of us try to pull together as a family and create our "new normal" but there have also been wonderful milestones accomplished and experienced too. In spite of everything we've lost, we are still very blessed! My thoughts and prayers are with you both Erica and Josh. I am so glad that you found one another! I too come online to try to find other people who have experienced a similar situation because it always feels good to find others who you can relate with. Take care and may God Bless you and your families!!

I just had my *second* eye job. I inherited the big fat bags and loose skin under my eyes from my dad, and the drooping uppers from my mom. They actually rested on top of my lashes. I always looked tired and looked older. I wore glasses all the time to disguise the bags underneath. I had the first done at 32. Doc told me it would last anywhere from 8 - 12 years. He was right. I'm turning 48 next month and got my second job in June. I don't look 'plastic' at all. I still have small bags under my eyes, but they are minimal and make my eyes look natural for my age. I don't regret either surgery for a second...I hated the way my eyes looked so I fixed them! For anyone seriously thinking about getting surgery, try to talk to people who have had it done. If you like the way they turned out, get their doctor's name. The docs show you before and after pictures of people they've done, but obviously they only put the best results in their sample book! Also discuss your expectations vs what can actually be done with your doctor. ie, a tummy tuck will definitely improve your overall look, but don't expect the washboard tummy of a 20 year old :) Finally, if you smoke, you must quit! At minimum, 2 weeks before and 2 weeks after the surgery. People who smoke are not only at higher risk during anesthesia, but they do NOT heal as quickly or as well. I also did the teeth whitening thing. $200 for the tray and gel. I only did my upper teeth because my lower teeth don't show, even when I smile. Made a huge difference, and I can do a 'tune up' if needed in the future. Otherwise, I would like a neck lift - getting pretty crepey there - but it's not terrible, so I'll leave that be :)

(((((((Kath)))))))) "I feel like wearing a mask all the time. " I think you should! don't want to cancel because you got sick! I lost 125lbs on weight watchers. With Chemo, I've gained back 38! darn it! but now that I don't need to take the steroids, and they took me off of one of the chemicals, I'm really working on it again. You will feel so much better! and more energy! wishing you good luck and a fast recovery! and I hope Sharon comes back and sees this! She is up north right now, if I remember correctly! with her family!