Shop Products
Houzz Logo Print
pathfinderara

Removing shoes upon entering.

pathfinderara
16 years ago

I know this topic has been heavily discussed before, but Im wondering how common it is to remove shoes upon entering houses? IÂm also wondering how many request shoes be removed upon entering their house. I like the concept of removing shoes because it definitely separates outside from inside, and also creates a more relaxed atmosphere. IÂm looking forward to see how people feel.

Comments (116)

  • xamsx
    16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    buggybumper check your lease. Many leases require folks in upstairs apartments with wood (or laminate) floors to cover a certain percentage (usually 80-85%) of the wooden floor surface with a rug. If this is indeed a requirement of your lease, ask your property manager to enforce the lease.

  • gwenb
    16 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I think it depends where you live. I grew up in the Calif bay area and no one takes their shoes off there. If you asked someone, it would be unusual and so imo somewhat rude. People weren't expecting it and might be embarrassed by dirty socks, holes, ugly toenails, whatever.

    Then we moved to Whidbey Island in Washington State and everyone does it here. It's the norm. Probably because of all the rain and mud here. So here, it would be rude to go somewhere and assume you were going to leave your shoes on. So you plan when you go somewhere that you better have nice socks on! If my floors are dirty anyway, I'll tell people just to leave their shoes on if they want. I have baskets of washable slippers by each door so people can wear those if they want.

    I see it as a regional thing.

    Gwen

  • babesy
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    For me, it is a matter of
    A) Having almost white carpet (was here when we bought it)
    and
    B) Respecting people's (including OURS) homes.

    Do you know what is where you walk? People spit on the sidewalks, for Heaven's sake. And that's just what you see. Ever walk down a street and get a whiff of urine? Drunks and street people use the outdoors for more than just an ashtray. Car grease and oil. More junk/gunk than you can imagine.

    Why all the hostility over this? Reading post after post, I was amazed. As someone said "It's not about you" and certainly NOT a slam to your friends' hygiene, just a fact of living today.

    And besides, I try my best to keep my home as a sanctuary and to keep the world's dirt outside.

    What's so wrong with that?

  • gellchom
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Well, I guess it's just a matter of making sure that you communicate your policy in a manner that makes it clear you don't consider your guests themselves to be "the world's dirt."

    As is SO often the case, it is HOW you do it that matters.

    I don't know what it is about this particular topic and a few others that makes people so insistent about establishing that their view is RIGHT and the other view is WRONG.

    There seems to be a pretty even split in opinion on this, or in any event plenty of people on both sides. On top of which, circumstances can change the balance (I would find it odd to be asked to remove my shoes at a formal dinner party, but not at a casual visit to a friend.) So clearly there is no "right" or "wrong" way, just different perspectives and choices, each with some good reasons. (I do kind of wonder if any of the shoes-off people wash their pets' feet every time they come in, though!)

    Why isn't it enough just to do what you want with your own home, and let others do what they want, without

    1) insulting the cleanliness, hospitality, or values of those who differ?

    2) enforcing your own policy in a way that makes your guests uncomfortable or makes them feel you value your possessions more than them?

    I am certainly not saying that ALL those who have a shoes-off policy are rude to their guests. But there is a disturbing number of people who seem to think that it's okay to be nasty about it because they are right about the dreadful filth of the world that their piggy visitors bring in. And they wonder why people think they value possessions more than friends? I can't help but get the feeling that these very adamant posters are welcoming the chance to be nasty, as if others' lapses give them a free pass to be rude. That is sad (and ironic, on an Entertaining board).

    I remember the first time I went to the home of a friend with a no-shoes rule. They were students with little furniture, so they pretty much lived on their floor (which had pale carpet). She explained it nicely and asked me to remove my shoes, and I was happy to comply.

    What would she have gained by, instead of just doing that, going into a diatribe about how no civilized person would wear shoes indoors, how filthy and unsanitary my home must be, and so on? Her polite request got my shoes off just fine.

    It is completely reasonable for hosts to ask that shoes be removed -- or to comply with any other rule of their home. But that does NOT relieve the hosts of responsibility for caring about how their guests feel -- and that has nothing to do with who is right about shoes or anything else.

    Beyond the obvious not scolding or lecturing guests or criticizing their hygiene, I never really thought about the problems some posters said they had with their feet that would make them feel very uncomfortable being asked to remove their shoes. That is something to consider. I am not saying it means that hosts mustn't have a no-shoes rule; just that they need to take into consideration that some of their guests may have issues like that which they might not care to discuss, and find a considerate and hospitable solution.

  • lindac
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I guess what I resent most is the implied or expressed feeling that what is good enough for my home isn't good enough for yours, and when you ask me to a party at your home, you ask me remove my flithy shoes, but you are perfectly delighted to come to my home and walk on my flithy floor with the remnants of spit and dog urine and sea gull doo-doo and whatever else and to drink my wine, eat my food and even sit on my furniture and even seem to enjoy it.
    But that's fine, because I won't go to your house and sully your floor with my white Cole-Haan slides and if we are going to continue our relationship, I guess it will have to be at my house or a restaurant also with filthy carpets.

    Ok...that was partly tongue in cheek because I don't know but one person anymore who has a shoes off policy and I was recently at a small gathering of about 18 people at her house and we all wore shoes.
    The other person who asked me to remove my shoes is...was...and I guess still is verys trange. She kept a perfectly filthy house for a lot of years. Grape jelly ground into the carpet, dishes piled high etc etc. Then they moved and she turned into an OCD shoes off person. But her husband was recovering from surgery a few months back so I took over a container of home made chicken soup, and she didn't ask me to remove my shoes, and the house looked like a normal house, not with coverings on the furniture nor filthy dirty.
    I had another friend who didn't like people "lounging" on the family room furniture because it rumpled the cushions....and she wondered why her grand children never wanted to come and spend the weekend!
    Linda C

  • grandciel_gmail_com
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Before I comment, I want to ask the question that led me to this lovely discussion. I am seeking a witty rhyme to encourage visitors to remove their shoes.

    That said...

    We DO ask people to remove their shoes primarily because we have an infant who crawls and face plants all over the floor. She has also been known to randomly lick whatever looks interesting. As you can imagine, I am constantly vacuuming and mopping and disinfecting.

    We like having our floors clean sure, but for us, it's crucial for the health of our little one whom we do not choose to sequester in only one "clean baby area", but instead just keep our shoes at the door and our floors as clean as possible.

    This request annoys the older generation (grand parents) but doesn't seem to give our generation or a younger one a second of hesitation. In fact, now that we do have a baby, most guests offer.

  • colleenoz
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    That's probably because the older generation knows that it's NOT crucial for the health of babies to keep them in a sterile environment. You yourself were probably allowed to crawl on a floor people walked on, and even licked a lot of things that you would consider disgusting now. And guess what? Here you are.
    Medical thinking nowadays is that by manically disinfecting everything in sight, we are a) creating superbugs that will be even harder to defeat and b) not allowing children's immune systems to develop, which leads to athsma and falling victim to every germ that comes their way. Think "War of the Worlds".

  • sheesh
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Adeia, Do you think the salt sweat, Athlete's Foot and toenail fungi on people's feet (mine included - you will never catch me taking off my shoes ANYWHERE!) are less dangerous than other things to your baby when s/he licks things? What about the common cold? Do you keep your baby isolated?

    As Colleenoz says, your baby's grandparents raised you. Please don't ruin their relationship with their grandchild over shoes! Would you not let your baby visit grandma's house because they wear their shoes at home? Will you let people wear their shoes when your baby stops crawling and licking things?

  • vanmicnatlog
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    WOW, never imagined anyone being offended by removing shoes. I ALWAYS remove my shoes in my home and when i enter others homes. I was a hospice nurse and even when entering client's homes was respectful of this, although i do admit, i entered some homes that i would never have considered removing my shoes. I do not expect my elders to remove their shoes, it would be too difficult for my father to take off and put his shoes back on. Amazing that someone would be offended that I want to take care of what is mine.

  • annie1971
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Unless people would be tracking in cow manure or sloppy mud, I think it's extremely rude to request people to remove their shoes before entering your home. Even when people voluntarily remove their shoes, we discourage it. We have a labrador retriever with a shoe fetish! (as well as other fetishes). Frankly, I don't want bare footed or stocking footed people walking around my house! Invited guests aren't going to do nearly as much damage to your floors as you and your family are already doing.
    Lighten up for heavens sake. Your home should be warm and inviting to guests, and not give the impression that it's too precious for them to walk in.

  • jessie_b_goode
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    just from my mother hounding me while growing up to remove my shoes i do it out of habit . . . however i absolutely LOVE it when i go to someones house and as i am taking them off someone says "oh don't worry about it!"

    as for my house rules . . if your shoes aren't soaked or muddy leave them on, otherwise take them off.

  • silversword
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I think it's regional. In the tropics you take your shoes off when you go in the house. Many houses have little plaques outside the door asking you to do so, if the huge pile of shoes outside the door isn't already enough of an indicator.

    I take my shoes off when I enter someone's home on habit. Now that I live in a different area, I look to see first if my hostess is wearing shoes. If so, I leave mine on. Seems to work just fine for me.

    I don't think it's rude to ask someone to take off their shoes at all, esp. if the weather outside is bad.

    I've posted a link for a shoes off sign. And, surprisingly there is a blog about the very thing. It's called shoes off at the door please. It's pretty humerous.

    http://shoesoffatthedoorplease.blogspot.com/

  • carol_in_california
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    My son and his family live in Japan and they have a shoe closet inside the front door plus plenty of slippers in all sizes. You are expected to remove your shoes when coming in at homes in Japan.
    Same thing with our friends living in the Hawaiian Islands.

  • LAS23
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I live in New England and I do not ask people to remove their shoes in my home. The comfort of my guests is far more important to me. If my hardwood floors get worn out faster, then I will have them resurfaced someday. I feel uncomfortable going to peoples homes and being asked to remove my shoes. Especially if it is summer and I have no socks on. I also think it is a good point that if you go to someones home and are dressed up for the occasion, taking your shoes off at the door and walking around nicely dressed with bare feet is just strange to me. It would never occur to me to come with a pair of slippers either! I rather not go to that persons home and would perfer to meet in a restaurant where I can wear my shoes.

  • yakuta
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Wow quite a debate. I am Indian and yes in our culture it's just normal to leave your shoes at the door. I am a muslim and a lot of my friends are hindus. In our culture regardless of our religion we sit on the floor, we pray in our home (on the floor) and it's just plain disrespectful to wear shoes.

    I did not even know this was such a touchy subject for so many people. I guess we just automatically remove our shoes and no it does not bother anyone to see piles of shoes on the side of the front door and no it does not matter how fancy our clothes are it's just customary to remove shoes.

    I normally remove my shoes even when I visit my American friends and they insist I keep them on. That's the only time I will keep them on.

    I guess it's all a matter of what you are used to and also your culture. For me shoes are a thing you wear outside (unless they are some fuzzy slippers) I like to be comfortable at home, I buy soft socks to wear indoors that I can toss in the laundry at the end of the day because I feel more comfortable in them than in shoes or slippers.

  • Vivian Kaufman
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    This debate never fails to crack me up.

    That said, we wear shoes all day every day. I do NOT like being shoeless--neither does my husband. And quite frankly, we're inside and outside so much during the day that if we required shoes off in the house, you would literally spend HOURS every week just putting on and taking off shoes. No thanks. And what about the dog? He can't remove his feet when he comes in and goes out. Of course, I assume that most of you with the no shoes rule wouldn't have an inside dog. Of course I don't KNOW that for sure, but it would seem likely.

    I have 15 years of working in a podiatry practice for a foot/ankle surgeon who specializes in diabetic limb salvage. Because of that, I KNOW that I don't want bare or even stockinged feet running around my floors or on my carpet. Yes, I've seen the worst of the worst as far as foot diseases go--and just ewww... Skeeves me out to think that I could have unknown feet on my carpet.

    My floors aren't fragile. I expect to clean them, vacuum, mop, sweep, and just otherwise maintain. When the carpet wears out, I'll replace it. They're just THINGS. When I greet a guest, the last thing I'm looking at is their feet. Most people know to wipe their feet well at the door. That's good enough for me.

    As a guest at someone else's house I doubt I would raise a fuss about taking my shoes off if I was unaware of the policy upon arrival, but I wouldn't be happy about it and I KNOW that I would be uncomfortable. If it's a friend who I know has a "shoes off" policy I'd bring my own slippers and be okay. Please don't supply me with "community slippers." I'd probably pass out dead if I had to put them on my feet. No way. Paper booties? It's a house, not an operating room. If you're not performing hysterectomies in the living room, I don't want to wear silly looking paper booties....LOL

  • newgardenelf
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    These posts make me laugh too- at myself as much as the posts. I lived in Asia for five years where the custom is to remove shoes (the streets are beyond dirty in some areas and people sweep, mop, clean everyday)

    At our house in New England, our family must remove their shoes (we put on our own slippers). When guests come, it depends. In winter most people want shoes removed in their own homes and remove them in ours (we carry slippers when we are visiting other people's homes. BIL bought a house with white carpet and can't afford to replace it if it gets dirty so our kids know that we bring our slippers. It seems a small price to pay to help keep a home clean for someone we love besides we are usually rewarded with a wonderful meal.

  • mistercristofer
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I think there is a HUGE cultural difference here. I live in Calgary, Alberta, and nobody, and I mean absolutely ****NOBODY**** I know here does, or seems to have even HEARD of (if I've had this discussion with them before)...people leaving their shoes on inside a house. EVERYONE in this city takes off their shoes.

    Of course, we're in a different city, country, and culture...in Calgary it's almost ALWAYS muddy and snowing, and for Asian households, people often wear slippers on inside of houses.

  • mistercristofer
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I'd also like to add, if your shoes smell, why would you want to keep them by your BED?!??

  • mistercristofer
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I just have to say I completely disagree with this idea that your if your friend wants you to remove your shoes, he or she cares more about his or her carpet then you. I come from Calgary Alberta Canada, where most people haven't even *** HEARD **** of people leaving shoes *** ON *** in a house...it's about as * RUDE * to us as bringing in a motorcycle and putting it on the host's bed and then stuffing a toilet seat in their fridge. That being said, I'm open minded to the idea that if a friend of mine wants me to KEEP my shoes on, I'll do it because it's their house (or perhaps even their landlord's preferences for shoes / no shoes), and really, that's not your friend caring more about her carpets than YOU, that's your friend caring more about her carpets than your COMFORT. I'm sure she'd let you wear shoes inside if it were a matter of life or death.

    And "if they don't want people to wear shoes, they shouldn't be entertaining." Seriously WHAT? Because they are of a different CULTURE? How discrminatory, not to mention tactless and closed-minded! Ever heard of theme parties? Pajama parties? Crazy hat parties? Dress codes are a PART of being a host. You anticipate a certain dress code and decorate / feed accordingly.

    Why is everyone so uptight? *I* have my standards of conduct in MY house, I expect my friends to follow it, and I expect MYSELF to follow my FRIENDS' preferences, whether I LIKE THEM OR NOT, without "cutting them out of my life" because I'm "offended" by their DIFFERENT CULTURE.

    I think that in even GOING to anybody's house, it is our ** RESPOSIBILITY ** as good GUESTS to adhere to dress codes. Some people even want people to remove their shoes when entering their car! Some cultural restaurants insist on it like some Japanese restaurants. Some people ARE from different cultures or upbringings, and I think people should be allowed to ask for a no shoe, no hat, no scarf, no smoking, no profanity policy.

    Really, I don't have anything against people bringing shoes into their homes...I just have something against people not RESPECTING that when people have their own places a good guest will respect wishes, or bring their own indoor shoes (that won't scratch or cause marks).

    Because everyone has a right to their own idea of home. Remember, some people, like myself, aren't even AWARE (I was just made aware last year) that aside from TV, people EVER keep their shoes on in a home! It's not that it's unheard of in an "evil" way...it's just that I look at leaving shoes on as EXCESSIVELY *ODD* because NOBODY does that here! It's like someone walking around with a tutu, or taking a pet zebra into the home! I come from a country (Canada) where it's always muddy and always winter, and in my lease with my landlord it's stipulated that if shoes are worn in the house and it's evident in the carpet, I forfeit my entire damage deposit. I think it's important to be open minded, and if you dont' feel comfortable removing your shoes, you can always communicate that and ask if she'd mind if you'd keep them on, or at least switch to indoor shoes, slippers, or something else. But not inviting her to your house because she has different standards of etiquette is as ignorant as sexism, racism, and homophobia. I'll follow your rules in your house if you follow mine. Sorry to say, but just saying.

  • mitchdesj
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    wow, I was in Calgary for a wedding last october, and we DID wear our shoes in the homes we visited, it was dry outside, it certainly is not always muddy and snowing and winter, for 12 months of the year, not in Calgary and not in Montreal.

    I live in Quebec and we do have summer, we wear our shoes indoor from june to november, except on rainy days.

    I'm just saying. I agree with the respect issue and house rules that a person may have; but don't go spreading rumors or stating facts like you did, it's just not true.

  • jake212
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Wow it should almost be second nature to remove shoes and sandals before entering both your own home as well as someone elses home. Footwear can attract all sorts of crap from outside and who in their right mind would want it inside their homes? Personally I don't care if im offending anyone when I tell them to remove their shoes at the door, so far it has not happened yet. The only time it would be allowed was a medical condition was present and the wearer must have on some sort of footwear.

    I grew up following this rule. Here in Hawaii it is customary to remove your shoes upon entry to someones home. My Aunt was the real teacher of this rule. All of her children and regular visitors including me would have to not only remove their shoes or sandals at the door but also remove socks if they were just the least bit dirty and wash our feet. Bad enough we had to do that but if we wore sandals then we would have to enter her house from the back into the laundry room and wash our barefeet there, since it is so hot in Hawaii she thought that our feet would sweat a lot in the sandals and she did not want us walking on her carpets or wood floors without washing our feet first. To sum it all up we would have to have dry clean barefeet or clean socks to enter her house.

    Now I would'nt go that far but I would simply ask the visitor to remove their shoes, too bad if they don't like it.

  • lindac
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Well...I wouldn't be visiting your house....
    Where I live and where I grew up...it was considered rude to take your shoes OFF in someone else's home. It was a sign of familiarity....
    I was the original barefoot girl....and heard all too often..."Linda! Put your shoes on!"
    Lots of years have passed, a few ankle and foot injuries and I am no longer comfortable standing barefoot......and I don't carry slippers....because shoes without support don't work either.
    So if you want me to remove my shoes...I won't be coming to your party.
    But you are welcome in my house....I have a vacuum and a mop.

  • mistercristofer
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I'm not "spreading rumors." I'm just saying that in living in Calgary for 25 years, I've worn my shoes into ONE household, and anyone I've DISCUSSED *THIS* with is absolutely shocked people EVER wear shoes. This is my experience and I'm sharing it.

  • mistercristofer
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I'm not even going to go into all the back problems not to mention odors that shoes, especially high heels cause. I'm here to defend the idea that if you're entering into someone's house, you should respect THEM as a good GUEST, whether that's removing your hat, not swearing in front of their children, not bringing religious symbols in or removing your footwear. If someone has a preference in their own home, any person with any sense of tact would either oblige, or simply not enter. Just assuming that every person in the world is SUPPOSED to follow YOUR culture's idea of leaving shoes on, like I said, is incredibly ignorant. Because your culture isn't the only one around, and if you wear shoes in my house, you're payin' my damage deposit buddy because my lease says NO SHOES. If your house is a SHOES place, and joe's house is a NO SHOES place, then people entering your house SHOULD WEAR SHOES and people entering Joe's house SHOULD NOT. It's about respecting other people's preferences, be it due to race, gender, social status, sexual orientation or carpet preference.

  • mistercristofer
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Another thing is that it's fairly clear from all of these responses, that some people find it incredibly odd to wear shoes indoors, and some find it incredibly odd NOT to. What does this mean? It means that there are different preferences. Are all of you SO closed-minded that you can't grin and bear it for the sake of tact and open-mindedness and respect towards someone else's preferences and culture?

  • mistercristofer
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    This is just out of curiosity. When you come from the type of background where you keep your shoes on even when you're inside your own home, how do you deal? Do you sleep with them on? Do you take them off at the foot, or the head of the bed? When you go for a bath or a shower, do you put them back on immediately? When you're waiting for your feet to dry enough to put your socks on comfortable, do you stay still and not walk around, or do you walk around on a mat barefoot until you can comfortable put your shoes on? And when you have blisters from your shoes, do you remove them in the house, or do you keep your shoes on until you go to bed, or dive to your bed and stay there for the rest of the day? Do you have to replace your shoes more often? What about foot odor and foot sweat? During intimate moments with a partner, does the removal of shoes spoil the mood? Do you ever switch from heels to something more comfortable when you enter the house? Do you mop every single day and vacuum the entire house every single day? Is painting your toes a just-for-the-bathroom thing? Also, do you remove your shoes when you're going to the toilet? Do you track mud around if your shoes have dirt and you splash water on them from your shower? Do you have several pairs of shoes, and if you do, where do you keep them so that you can go pick a pair for a party? When you have pajama parties, what shoes do you wear for those? Do you ever get pedicures? What about socks...do you replace them a few times a day if your feet are getting sweaty? Do you ever trip on carpet because you're wearing runners? Are you less likely to slip? When you're sneaking up on somebody to scare them or surprise them (I don't know...Valentines day or something?) do you remove your shoes so there is no clickety clackety? Does mopping seem hopeless in a household full of muddy-shoes teenagers?

  • suzieque
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    mistercristofer - are you getting a little carried away? I mean, 5 posts within 22 minutes on the same subject? I think you're taking this way too seriously - especially given your post at 15:53.

    For me, my guests can do what they want - take shoes off, leave shoes on.

    I can't believe that I'm actually contributing to this never-ending debate that keeps cropping up.

  • mistercristofer
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    You know suzieque, you're right. I guess I'm just mad that people seem to be SO angry that some people in the world take off their shoes.

  • suzieque
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    mistercristofer - get a grip, man.

  • mitchdesj
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    "Do you sleep with them on? Do you take them off at the foot, or the head of the bed?

    you're overthinking this whole issue.

  • lindac
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I think I'll put this one to bed....with it's shoes on....

  • silversword
    15 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I think it would be healthier if you took its shoes off Linda... let the whole thing *air* out a bit ;)

  • BHappy_gmail_com
    13 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    As a delivery man I REFUSE to take my shoes off because there is a high chance of injury. I feel its unsafe if a dresser or nightstand crushes my foot and most customers are understanding.-mistercristofer

  • gabbythecat
    12 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Why not a happy compromise? If you are of the "shoes off" mindset, don't require people to take shoes off in your house, especially guests. In fact, maybe wear shoes when you have guests so they are comfortable keeping theirs on if they so choose. When they leave, you can always mop/vacuum/whatever. As a general rule, you and your family can then revert to your normal shoes off policy after the guests are gone.

    Thing is - often people are uncomfortable with the shoes off policy for a variety of reasons. They shouldn't have to explain why they should be exempt from your rules. Just let people be welcome; a little extra wear and tear on your floors shouldn't keep people from feeling comfortable in your home. What's more important - *people* or immaculate floors?

    (Just for the record, I am upper middle class, country - gravel driveway - very educated. So that kind of skews some of the demographic stereotypes that were tossed around early in this thread.)

  • stonehard
    12 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    i think asking someone to remove their shoes is a bit childish. and its very uncomfortable doing so especially if you're not extremely close to the person in the house. don't really know them too well- and you're walking around barefoot in their house. eh, i don't like it. like i just said- i can understand you saying that to KIDS, because kids can be messy including dirty shoes. we all know that. but adults should be able to wear shoes in the house at a party. come on now

  • gardensoiree
    12 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    So, this is most certainly a tough one. Here's how we handle it.

    A) Family and close friends remove their shoes; yes there is a pile of shoes by the door, shoe drawers too; one of our close friends prefers not to remove his shoes (I've never asked him about it)
    B) New acquaintances are not asked to remove shoes, but I've found that once folks have been over a number of times they are comfortable and remove the shoes or not (I'm mostly never going to ask unless my DH is in the middle of the kitchen with his shoes on)
    C) When we have BIG parties most people don't remove shoes beside 200 plus shoes would be a BIG pile
    D) A friend has marble flooring throughout her home and on my first visit to her home she had booties for us to put over our shoes (that really freaked me out!) . . . now that I have been over many times she has slippers for me
    E) I treat no shoes in the house partly as a bit less dirt, grim, and cooties for me to clean up; shoes are needed in the outside world but we can all shed that protection inside and relax; when I visit my close friends' places I remove my shoes
    F) This seems to be a touchy subject but I prefer to handle much like I handle other things; my preferences end where other people's preferences begin. I swear but I don't swear in front of children or friends who prefer I use fewer special words.

  • suzieque
    12 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I can't believe this oldy-and-moldy thread/topic is still going on. But since it is, I'll play. I want people to be comfortable. I tell them - feel free to take off your shoes if you'd be more comfortable. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't.

    And when I go into someone's home, I often ask "Would you like me to take off my shoes"? I've never had anyone say yes.

    Worried about germs? Please. We've antibiotic'ed and hand-sterilized ourselves to death. IMO, of course ...

  • gabbythecat
    12 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Sorry, suzieque. I brought it back - but I'm a newcomer to this forum, so maybe I'm excused? :-) It isn't an old topic to those of us that are new here...and it's a topic that my dh and I have discussed as we are in the process of reflooring our house with shoe friendly flooring - shoe friendly being one of the reasons for new flooring.

  • suzieque
    12 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    You're right, gladys. And welcome to the forums! In fact, the topic is being discussed over at the Kitchen Table forum and also fairly recently on the Home Decorating Forum.

    Congratulations on your new floor! Always nice to revamp.

  • ocnick
    12 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I've said this many times before, I think it's rude to ask!

  • etrate
    12 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    with friends in my age it's actually normal to remove the shoes. but in my parents house noone is asked to remove his shoes. i don't know what is better, though.

  • gardenandcats
    12 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I was always brought up being told its rude to dirty other peoples floors.Maine here snow and mud..I take my shoes off at home and at anyone elses house. They do the same at mine or they can stay home. Doesn't bother me at all if they choose to not come to my home because I want shoes off....I'm not going to drag out the rug shampooer every time someone walks up my carpeted stairs and living room no way.... I don't see what the big deal is about slipping off your shoes!!!

  • nancylouise5me
    12 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I guess you don't use door mats to wipe off the bottom of your shoes/boots during bad weather. Hmmmm, I live in Maine also. I know I have some at all my doors and so do all my friends. lol We don't have a problem with constantly have to drag out the shampooer. They wipe their feet, or take of their boots and put on their shoes. The big deal as you call it is making my guests feel comfortable in my home. I would never be so rude as to ask them to take off their shoes. I care more about their comfort then I do about "things". It is as simple as that. People before things. NancyLouise

  • colleenoz
    12 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    Well, gardenandcats, I have mobility issues and taking my shoes off is rather difficult for me. It is hard enough getting them on in the first place and to take them off and put them on again because my host doesn't trust me to wipe my feet before walking in is a big imposition. I would prefer my guests leave their shoes on as well.
    Like nancylouise, I think people are more important than things. I can clean my things but I can't fix a broken friendship that broke because I obsessed over my "stuff".

  • jolj
    11 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    A friends his a beach house that they let my family use.
    It is the 2 story, first floor is a tool room & concrete parking lot. The 2nd floor has a covered porch, we took our shoes off on the porch. First the house as all hard wood floors. Second we always leave a place we stay at cleaner then we find it, No shoe, no sand, easy answer.
    I do not ask people to take they shoe off at my door, but I wear nice socks & do as the host ask when I visit their home.

  • rosefolly
    11 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    We live in a California town that is more than 50% Asian. It is definitely a cultural thing here. I would automatically offer to take off my shoes in an Asian household. I would also automatically take off my shoes if they were dirty, as they sometimes are, given that I tramp in the woods or work in my garden many days. Scraping at a doormat helps, but it does not always do the job.

    I would be taken aback if I showed up for a party in a nice dress and heels and was asked to take my pretty party shoes off. I would do it, but I would probably not be best pleased.

    Rosefolly

  • sameboat
    11 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I agree with Rosefolly. Nice cocktail dress, makeup done, hair in evening updo...and stocking feet? It's like leaving off your earrings and lipstick. I would be pissed.

  • sanctuarygirl
    11 years ago
    last modified: 9 years ago

    I don't personally do this for my home, but I do go along with others at their homes, though I think it is a bit imposing because the feet and what is on or not on them falls within the personal domain of the individual. I don't particularly like the idea of folks sitting around in their stocking feet. I and my family do it, but why would I find the idea of visitors doing that appealing? I do get that it could help to keep flooring nice and clean for longer, but wear and tear on flooring is kinda supposed to happen! If you have flooring that is that precious, maybe you shouldn't have it!