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Shoes Off

Posted by
paul
(plebby@uk.packardbell.org) on
Sun, Dec 9, 01 at 20:47

It would appear that a 'shoes off' policy is global.
I live in Yorkshire, England and I have a strict shoes off policy in my home. I do not allow any visitors whether they are family, friends or tradesmen e.g.repairmen, phone installers etc. to wear shoes in my home.
I have no problem with telling visitors to take their shoes off, I even provide slippers in various sizes for visitors who do not like being in stocking feet or are embarrassed in case they have foot odour!!!
I have had to work very hard to carpet and furnish my home so it is logical not to allow shoes to be worn indoors.
Why does anyone need to wear shoes indoors?
Many of my family and friends also have a 'no shoes' policy in their homes, it appears to be an increasing trend particularly among the under fifties and is probably due to the popularity of plain light coloured carpets and polished wood flooring.
I am an electrical contractor and lighting designer and when I visit a prospective customers home to survey and quote for work I take my shoes off, which shows customer care, this creates a good impression with the prospective customer which makes them more likely to offer me the work than another contractor who has trampled into their home in dirty shoes.
If I am working in an area of a customers home that is carpeted or has a polished wood floor I will usually work in my socks or wear slippers. Obviously this is not always practical such as when working in roof or under-floor voids.
All companies should instruct their employees to take their boots/shoes off when visiting or working in peoples homes, for example there is no need for a salesman to wear shoes when visiting a customers home, or for a service engineer, appliance repairman, interior decorator etc. to wear shoes when in someones home.
To a customer it is often bad enough having a stranger in their home, even worse is when they trample around their home in dirty boots or shoes!!!!
I would be very interested to know if there are any companies who do instruct their employees to remove their shoes, or who provide their employees with slippers.!


Follow-Up Postings:

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RE: Shoes Off

I'm a shoes off person myself- any chance I get. But my mother has to wear shoes for the support they provide to her troubled feet.


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RE: Shoes Off

I kick my shoes off at home and when I feel relaxed and cozy.
But if you told me I had to take off my shoes before coming into your house.....I would never visit you.
Bare feet went out with civilization. Shoes are part of my attire.....they match my outfit, high heels are chosen to make me feel more feminine.....and I won't take them off in your house any more than I would take off my blouse.
Linda C


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It so happens, that going without shoes....I have broken my little toe 6 times now....so, i must have something hard on my feet......
my ex husbands wife, insistes that you not wear shoes in her house.
I went there once, and will never return...
is you house a home, or a museum?
i would rather be comfortable.....


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RE: Shoes Off

  • Posted by
    Auleeta
    (123@123.com) on
    Mon, Dec 10, 01 at 11:57

'Shoes Off is certainly NOT a global policy. It's a custom that seems to be very acceptable in some areas, and not at all in others.

In my area of Northeast America (granted, this is quite a sophisticated, monied area) it is EXTREMELY bad manners to go to someone's house and remove your shoes--you'd be seen as being very tacky and low-class if you want to know the truth. My husband is a utility company meter reader--he daily visits 500-600 homes where he has to enter the house and go to the basement to read the meters. NO ONE has ever asked him to take his shoes off--and can you imagine how late he would have to work if he had to take off and put on a pair of high-top, lace-up, saftey work boots at each and every home he visits?

I'm guessing this post is one more from one of those folks who have foot fetishes--although it's beyond me how they get their kicks out of starting these discussions--you'd think a trip to the beach would be far more satisfying. Oh well, to each his own, I suppose.


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OMG! If some sort of professional showed up at my home and took their shoes off I would chase them out of my home spraying them constantly with a can of disinfectant! I have small children (one is an infant just starting to crawl) and I am horrified that someone would walk around barefoot in my home spreading gawd-only-knows what kind of foot rot on my carpets and floors. How incredibly gross and rude!

Alexa


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I always take my shoes off when I enter someones home. People who don't mind shoes are usually very quick to tell you it's OK to leave them on. Personally I think a gracious hostess would not embarass their guests by asking them to remove thier shoes, on the other hand people who trek through peoples homes with dirty shoes are equally rude.

As for tradesmen, many are required to wear safety boots as a condition of employment. Compensation for injury can be waived it the employee is not wearing requisite safety gear.
If shoes bother you that much you should provide disposible slip on "booties" that cover the boots.


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In response to the the follow up from Auleeta, I thought it was us 'Brits' who were supposed to be obsessed with class!!!!
A 'shoes off' policy is not universal in Britain but has become increasingly common in recent years. It is now concidered good manners to remove your shoes or at least to offer to do so when visiting someones home, particulary if it noticed that the host is in their socks or slippers when they open the door.
As mentioned in my original posting, I am a tradesman, and at one time never even concidered removing my shoes on entering a customers home, but after being asked to do so with increasing regularity, I adopted a 'shoes off' policy both in customers homes and my own. Perhaps it also had something to do with getting my own home and finding out how expensive floorcoverings are!
Most British tradesmen/repairmen still don't automatically remove their shoes, they have to be told.
With regards to other follow up comments, it seems from asking visitors to my home, that they are NOT offended by being told to take their shoes off (most request this in their homes) and most have commented that it makes them feel more relaxed and 'at home' as they are then free to put their feet up on the furniture!
Contrary to the what many people think most 'Brits' are actually quite laid back!
One last thing! No Auleeta, I do NOT have a foot fetish!


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Let see There are lots of postings on "Shoes Off" and "Socks Off" on a lot of the forums...hmmm!!
But I don't think it's a global thing at all.


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I would be more concerned with my baby crawling on a floor where someone had walked with shoes than without. Think about it; one walks in yards and streets with shoes on. People spit on the street (not very classy, but they do it), dogs do their business out there, etc. Besides that, dirt and sand act like glass on carpets, and once you get a carpet dirty there is no way it will ever be completely clean again IMO.

I hate shoes. My DH and I don't wear them in our home. We come in the house via the laundry/mud room and shoes come off there. If I thought it would work, I would insist on a no shoes policy in my home, but alas I have some relatives who are anal and would not visit again over something that trivial. But if I can ever afford new carpet ....

dd


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Actually I DO have new carpet (throughout the first floor) and that's one of the reasons I don't want "alien" foot crud on them. To reference the other concern about tracking in from where dogs do their business - I also have several dogs and a few horses. Obviously, if we have been out in the barn we remove work boots in the mud room, but the rest of the house is quite "civilized". We often run around in stocking feet when it's just family, but we all have the same family germs, so it doesn't really concern me. However, if there is company coming or I am expecting someone - we all wear shoes and expect the visitor to do the same. After all - we DO have electricity and indoor plumbing too - just part of being house-broken. Needless to say - we all wear underwear and know how to flush the toilet also.

And I know it's part of some Asian cultures NOT to wear shoes - well... a friend is married to an Asian woman who is NOT welcome in my house (she won't wear shoes inside) nor will I EVER go to her house where shoes are not allowed.

JMHO

Alexa


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I agree with 'Barefoot'. How can 'Alexa' really believe that peoples feet and socks are dirtier and carry more disease and bacteria than the soles of shoes. Just think of what can be carried on the soles of shoes! Putting aside the obvious 'visible dirt' such as grit, mud, dog poo etc. etc. here are just a two examples to think about!!!!!
Example 1. This should be familiar to anyone who has been in the mens restroom in a bar or club. The area of floor in front of the urinals always has urine on it, this can vary from splash's, to pools of it depending on the establishment and is sometimes supplemented with vomit! It is impossible to use the urinals without standing in this vile mess. Some of this is absorbed into the soles of shoes, particularly leather soles, and some is also trapped in the treads. Some of this will wear off but much will remain, particularly between the treads.
Example 2. During periods of heavy rain, road drains and gullies will frequently 'back up' and this water will often contain sewage which is then spread and sprayed by vehicle tyres over roads and sidewalks. This in turn is transferred to shoes and boots and as in the previous example will be absorbed or trapped in the soles.
Just think of all the bacteria and diseases that may be present, HIV & Hepatitis to name just two!!!!!
Whilst the soles may be dry, the dried urine, vomit, sewage and bacteria is still there, a few rubs over the doormat is not going to remove it, in fact more will be removed and transferred on to and by the fluffy, springy and longer fibres of the carpet, and there it will remain!
Next time you come home after visiting a bar just think whats on your shoes! The next time friends, family, repairmen, the cable installer etc. visit just think whats on their shoes!
Are you happy letting your children crawl on a floor that has been walked on in shoes after reading this?
Do you want to chill out on the floor after reading this?
Good personal hygiene and clean socks are most important, but how can anyones feet or socks ever be carriers of more dirt and bacteria than shoes, unless they have been walking outside without shoes?
As you may have guessed, wearing shoes or boots is banned in our home, and has been for over ten years!


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This topic comes up every other month - right now there are 3 separate threads going in the top 20 threads!

Anyway, my mom is from Asia. We grew up with no shoes in the house, and the floors were always kept clean enough to eat off. But if guests came over they weren't asked to remove their shoes. In those days (over 20 years ago), Americans thought it strange if you didn't wear shoes in your house. My, how things have changed.

One point I have to make is that in Asia where folks don't wear shoes (Japan and Korea, for example), wall-to-wall carpeting is rare if not unheard of. The floors are usually a laminate or wood, and rooms are commonly heated through the floors. That's why it's perfectly comfortable for folks to sit on the floor and also sleep on the floor (on futons and such) there. Many families will use the same room for eating, sitting and sleeping. They just take out and store tables, cushions and futons depending on the time of day. In this case, you can see why having shoes off is preferred.
In America, wall-to-wall carpeting is standard. Carpet absorbs dirt and dust. Brought up the way I was, I was always disturbed to go into people's homes where the carpets were dirty, and people wore shoes. It seemed unsanitary, (but I'm not making any judgements here. Just sharing.)

Now the trend is away from carpeting, at least in living and dining rooms, and kitchens.

My house has half wood flooring (living, dining and kitchen) and half carpeting. I wear house slippers or moccasins. Most of my friends know I don't wear outside shoes in the house, so they doff theirs too. I don't ask them to. But when they see me in slippers or socks, they automatically take off their shoes. Many of them have also adopted the no-shoes in the house habit.

When professionals come over I don't ask them to take off their shoes, but once I asked one to wipe off his shoes because they were muddy. He promptly took them off without complaint (he wasn't doing any construction).

It seems in some locations the no-shoes thing is getting more popular - judging from these topics. I'm rather surprised. After all, my classmates used to look at me like I was an alien!

Now we've got a dilemma with all these shoes-no shoes etiquette questions. I like to read the differing viewpoints. It's interesting to see how changing lifestyles bring up questions.

Whether or not you wear shoes in the house - enjoy the discussion!


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I don't wear shoes in the house because I don't like wearing them in general except when necessary for certain occasions like work, shopping etc. But as soon as I'm home, the shoes come off. I love to go barefoot, or wear slippers if it's cold; I hate the feeling of shoes in the house! Funny though, it doesn't bother me to wear them in someone else's house. And it never occurs to me that they might be dirty and need to be taken off; it's strictly a comfort thing with me.


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The varying viewpoints on this "shoe ettiquette" discussion is kind of interesting because it seems to have a lot more to do with just shoes off or on. Below the surface there seems to be a lot about changing social standards and lifestyle trends, cultural/regional habits, and personality types.

I am in Chicago, and this area of the Midwest seems to be more "shoes off" friendly than not. There are occassionally people who find going without shoes in a home as uncomfortable or in poor taste, but these seem to be by far the exception rather than the rule.

I personally feel shoes are cumbersome, uncomfortable objects that are invented to wear outside in order to protect us from the cold, damp, dirt, rough surfaces, sharp objects, etc. But once inside it seems very natural and even civilized to get out of those shoes, and equally for reasons of comfort as well as cleanliness. And I definitely have to side with those who understand that the better hygiene is to take off our shoes with all it's dirt, grime, and filth that can be tracked in from the outside throughout the house. Although, I do tend to feel that wearing socks is a smarter idea inside then going barefoot in a communal area in terms of hygiene and cleanliness.

I am a "pad around in socks" kind of guy myself, and never wear shoes at home and almost never at friend's or family's homes, with the exception of formal affairs which are rare. It never seems to be a problem as most of the folks I know seem to go "shoeless casual" most of the time also. I rarely demand that visitors take their shoes off when they visit my place, but most of them tend to do so anyway. I'm not sure whether this is because they see that I am in my stocking feet all the time and so take their cues from me, or it is of their own initiative. However, even though I don't demand it, I do often invite guests to take off their shoes, suggesting that they are welcome to make themselves comfortable or feel at home. It makes me feel good that guests can feel comfortable enough go without shoes in my home, as that is the kind of relaxed and informal atmosphere I would hope to come across. A visit or get-together with friends and family somehow seems warmer, friendlier, and more homey when we are in our stocking feet. This, plus the benefit of maintaining clean carpeting and floors, as I also have nice things for which I have worked hard, take pride in, and wish to maintain well.

I also agree that it would be appropriate for repairmen, service people, and other professionals to, at least, offer to take off their shoes upon entering a client or customer's home, with obvious exceptions of course such as heavy construction etc. My financial advisor and my insurance agent, have both been considerate enough to take off their shoes upon arrival during recent visits. However, again, maybe they just felt comfortable enough to do so, and this is no problem with me.


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My problem with the no shoes policy is that those that enter my home know i have a now shoes policy but some still ignore it even after repeated warnings, how do i cure this without demanding they never come back?


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When I first started reading this thread, I thought it was a joke. Unfortunately it wasn't.

A good host always makes his/her guests feel welcomed and comfortable. I would never insist that a guest in my home remove their shoes and on the other hand I would never insist that they wear their shoes. I have never had anyone tell me or ask me to remove my shoes while in their home.
In my family we tend to wear slippers or sock feet around the house. If I was invited to a close friends home for a casual evening I might very well remove my shoes,my choice. But if it were more of a dinner party, and if the weather was bad, raining, or snowing then I would take a pair of shoes to change into. I think good friends and good manners are much more important than a little dirt on my carpet. Good friends can't be replaced whereas carpets will have to be replaced eventually and in the meantime they can be cleaned. Ann.


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In answer to Mike and his problem with getting people to respect his 'shoes off' rule.
Mike,
1. Have you actually 'told' visitors to take their shoes off, or have you only said you would 'prefer them to do so' or merely hinted? My advice is to tell them firmly and politely to take their shoes off. Don't hint or expect people to get the hint by seeing you without shoes when they visit.
2. Is it family/friends that are not removing their shoes or is it tradesmen? If it's family/friends then politely but firmly tell them, tell them also that they will feel more relaxed and can make themselves feel more at home as without shoes they are free to put their feet up on the sofa, coffee table etc.
If it's tradesmen or repairmen then again be polite but firm, if they refuse (I think most unlikely) don't let them in, and make a complaint to their employer.
3. If a visitor is reluctant to or states they do not want to remove their shoes, ask them why. I have found the usual reason is because they are embarrassed about foot odour. To avoid them embarassment and so they don't have any good reason not to take shoes off, buy a few pairs of cheap light weight (washable) slippers in both mens and womens sizes and keep them near the entrance door for vistiors. An alternative to proper slippers are 'sneaker/trainer liners' (those sort of cut off socks) particularly the ones with thick cushioned soles make excellent slippers, they can fit a wide range of sizes, can be worn over barefeet or over socks, are washable! and cheaper than slippers!
4. Remember, it's your home, it's your carpet/polished floor and you are the one who has had to work and pay for it.
Visitors should respect this, be they family, friends or tradesmen.

I introduced the 'no shoes' rule in my home several years ago after having new carpets fitted. There were a variety of reactions from visitors at first, some of my mates thought I was not being serious when I told them to take their shoes off, some complained a bit, others happily complied. It took a while for the message to get through to some of them, even after several visits some still asked if they had to take their shoes off! I notice that generally it is the guys who seem more reluctant to remove their shoes. All regualar visitors now do take their shoes off without being told or reminded. Over the years I have asked my visitors what they feel about having to remove their shoes when they visit, they all say they don't mind at all and some say it makes them feel more 'relaxed and at home'. In fact most of them now have 'no shoes' homes themselves. It's now only first time/ one off visitors such as repairmen who usually have to be told to take their shoes/boots off. I also provide slippers for visitors who prefer to wear them.

No one is allowed into my home in shoes. No exceptions!

If anyone still needs convincing that wearing shoes indoors not only dirties and damages all types of flooring be it carpet, vinyl or wood, but wearing shoes indoors is grossly un-hygienic then read the follow up further back from Gary.


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Gawd -

After reading several of these posts there are several questions that burn in my mind. Firstly, let me clarify that we do SOMETIMES go without shoes when it is just family (usually after the kids bathtime when we are all unwinding and watching a little TV in the upstairs play room)... definitely not something we would do if these were guests in the house, nor would I expect a professional entering my house to remove his/her shoes either. That is just gross. I mean (UGH - stomach turning, hitching, and I am about to barf just thinking about this) - I am picturing bunions and corns and callouses and deformities and all sorts of disgusting things that I KNOW I don't want to see.

To the people who are strictly shoes off:

1. Do you also have plastic covers on all your furniture to keep it pristine?

2. Do you have the same revulsion towards undergarments? Panty hose springs to mind since they can be much more of a hassle than shoes are, but I also wonder about bras and underpants - are they offensive also?

3. Are you the same people that have a wonderfully decorated living room that no one is allowed into because heaven-forbid something might be used or touched or sat upon?

4. Are you also the same people that have a wonderful set of china that is only used once a year for a holiday meal?

Lighten up people - flooring is going to need to be replaced someday (I repaint/recarpet about every 5 years so it all gets ripped up and thrown out anyway and the wood floors get stripped and re-polyurithaned) since tastes change, color schemes change, etc. I mean really - are you wearing the same clothes now that you had 10 years ago?

I honestly have this image of naked people running around the family room of plastic covered furniture looking longingly at the living room that has been roped off with a velvet cord from a defunct movie theater.....


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I am a "Shoes On" person when visiting someone. Also in my house I am a "Shoes on" person when I entertain.


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Calliloo!! I think we could be good friends!!
I take my shoes off in my house.....and in the houses of good friends....if I feel it, like and the weather's warm and....
I don't mind good friends taking their shoes off when they are in my house....
BUT....the thought that anyone would EXPECT me to take off my shoes.....really jangles my bells!
I would NEVER AGAIN go to someone's house that expected me to take off my shoes.....just to be privileged to sit in their livingroom!
And....I know someone who expects that.....and I won't go into her home....
But that's all right....she's a lousy cook anyhow!
Linda C


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I have come to the conclusoin that women can be the worst noisemakers. im sick of their loud walking in high heeled shoes and boots and they wont let the men walk as loud as them
i lived in one place and the woman walked around all the time one time her boyfriend wore boots and she made him take them off


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It's really quite simple. If it's bad weather outside, or you have been somewhere messy, take your shoes off. If not, then leave them on.

Whenever we have service people come over, we put these thick plastic runners coming from the door to where they will go. Or we use a whole plastic floor covering if they will be all over a room. You know, the kind you lay down when the walls are being painted Even if it's nice weather out, I do this, because who knows where the service people have been. And most of them don't have the decency to check the bottoms of their shoes out.

I have a carpet that cost over a thousand dollars. There is NO way I will have it ruined. So the runners are the way to go. I just mop them if with an old mop if they are dirty. Then when they dry, I roll them up and put them back in the basement. I agree with what someone said here. It would be inconvenient for service people to keep taking their shoes off, especially if they were doing something like carpentry work and had to keep running outside. But they should be more careful, but they don't care. That's why I just put down the runners. That way, I can feel at peace and don't have to argue with anyone.

My family and friends though, are smart enough to know to take their shoes off if it's messy outside. It's not an issue with them anyway, thank God!

As far as anyone being embarrased because of worn socks, just don't wear bad ones if you know you are going to someones house. As far as out of the ordinary foot odor goes, if you know you are a clean person and you have foot odor that is not normal, I would go to the doctors. There are all kinds of prescription foot deodorants. There is nothing to be ashamed of in going to the doctors for that. It's not anyones fault if some medical problem arises.


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I have NEVER had a problem with service people being inconsiderate and not checking their shoes. The ones I have had in my home were very decent, not at all like the ones described in previous postings. I also offer them something to drink and let them use my bathroom if they need to! Geez, those service people are just working to make a living and support their families. From what I have read here it seems some people consider them a lower life form. Friends and guests are the most important thing in my home, much more important than my nice clean floors and carpets. I make them feel comfortable and welcome, no need to remove their shoes in my home. We always go out of our way to make our visitors feel WELCOME and asking someone to remove their shoes is not very hospitable IMO.


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Whazzup, Couldn't agree with you more. Happy New Year.
Ann.


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My New Years resolution is to never even open another posting that refers to shoes on or off. This subject seems to get an inordinate amount of attention. Maybe if we all promise not to post a follow up it will go away or better yet, because I don't have a problem with people who want to discuss this, the foot people could ask for their very own forum!

Happy New Years to all wether you are shoes on,shoes off or shoe neutral.


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RE: White carpeted Christmas Party!

Rrecently, a colleague of mine held a holdiay party at her home. What a shocker it came, when she opened the door in a stunning Gucci gown, and made reference to her new white carper, and that guests would be dining and or celebrating in their 'socks and/or stockinged feet. I was unsure, if she was happy that all of us came, or that her carpet looked brand spanking new at the end of the night. How does the board deal with shoes off and parties and other formal events?


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If you live in an apartment with people below you, they should be off to show consideration. I suffer from deliberate stomping with shoes and boots all the time. And its like they encourage the guests to do the same.


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I've only been asked to remove my shoes once, and it was VERY embarassing and I felt uneasy the entire time I was there. It was an office house warming party and 2 of the guests had foot odor problems with caked on white powder for odor between thier toes, that was flaking balls of this stuff (foot powder and sweaty foot stench)all over thier ugly circa 1970's carpet
Then when the shoes off guy came to my house he didn't even offer to take his shoes off in my house, I never invited him ever to my place again!
I'd never buy carpet so expensive that I was constantly worrying over it, But this guy had 30 year old carpet to begin with!


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  • Posted by
    Jane & Mark
    (jama@aol.com) on
    Fri, Jan 4, 02 at 21:33

How can a posting about something as simple, basic and common sense as not wearing shoes indoors trigger so many responses?
To say that there are some differing opinions on this forum is the understatement of the year!!!!!!!!
Here's our summerized opinion on what we've read so far!
Paul, Gary, John & Tim, what you write makes complete sense and we agree with you.
Auleeta & Alexa you seem to be missing the point.
Caliloo (who also appears to be Alexa) is 'grossed out' by feet and seems to think that everybody's feet are deformed, dirty and smelly, maybe she is just judging everyones feet by her own or her husbands!!!!
We have the 'No Shoes' rule in our home and have never experienced any problem when requesting visitors be they friends, family or trades people to remove their shoes.
As for hygiene & foot odour, this is not an issue for civilised people who shower and change their socks/stockings at least daily.
No doubt we have added fuel to this fire!!!!!


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Yep....you did!
Shoes are not a 21st century invention.
Shoes have been worn by civilized people inside their homes for....I dare say......hundreds of years.
Shoes are part of one's "costume". That's why people have brown shoes, black shoes, tan shoes etc.
Floors are meant to be walked on by people wearing shoes....Floors are not for eating off of, nor sleeping on....but for walking on.
I may take my shoes off in someone's home.....but only if "I" want to.....just as I make take my blouse off in someone's home....but only if "I" want to.
If it's more important to you not to have to scrub your floor now and then than to have my company......then so be it.
Linda C....Pro choice!


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Jane & Mark -

You totally missed the point! I am very fortunate to have "normal" feet (as do my family members) but I refer you to the prior post where "bonovoxy" refers to white foot powder balling up and being left all over the house. HOW INCREDIBLY GROSS!

You would NOT be welcome in my home if you felt the need to go shoe-less. I do not want to see you feet any more than I would want to see any other part of you anatomy that "normal" people keep covered.

If you have a foot fetish - have at it, but please do not feel the need to involve people who don't have the same quirks.


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I cant say Im a completely shoes-off person, but thats what I am in the most cases. Preventing carpets isnt the main reason: cleaning shoes is mostly enough. I never ask my guests to take their shoes off, and if they try to, I always say they dont have to do that. Otherwise why not to remove one's trousers to prevent chairs? :))))))))))
But if the upper part of shoes is dirty (wet dust and soil while raining etc.), they dont look well and sometimes its not possible to clean them quickly, so why not to take them off?
However it may be, I mostly take my shoes off while visiting people if its common for people I visit. Taking shoes off isnt the rule for any case in my country, but its a tradition (to prevent carpets). As to me, I like to feel free physically and psychologically thats why I take my shoes off. I often visit different families as a private teacher of English, and the most of them expect I remove my shoes. But if I feel some psychological problems with this people, I never take my shoes off even if they ask, because, I think, taking shoes off is very informal.
I also never remove my shoes if others are in shoes.

Heydar,
Baku, Azerbaijan


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I wonder... some people have said that they ask people to remove their shoes and have "never had a problem." I am sure that if requested, most of us would remove our shoes. But believe me, there WOULD be a problem. I'd just be too polite to tell you to your face. I would go to That Home Site and complain! :)


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Tee hee, foot fetishists indeed! There are probably more shoe fetishists than foot fetishists out there. But I'm not trying to start another discussion mind you ;-)


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You're right, Gina, shoes-on policy keepers are real foot fetishists, but maybe I'm too:)))
One looks for a way he/she likes. Of course, it's easier to take shoes off than to clean them all the more that you can never clean your shoes so that you bring no infection and dirt into apartment. But traditions create habits, and habits are something we like. So if we take our shoes off (as in my Eastern culture)just to prevent the floors, we like taking shoes off.
But attending an official party nobody removes her/his shoes. Why? Because we DON'T LIKE THAT IN THIS CASE!
So, shoes question is not only a practical one. We feel the ground through our feet. So we get connection with nature. That's why people like walking barefoot in forest or at sea shore etc. And shoes are one of the symbols of civilization. They show both positive and negative features of civilization. They express human personality, but they create a kind of formal self-isolation. That's why sometimes we need them, sometimes we don't. If we want to take them off, we start thinking about the floors. If we don't want to, we just find any way to clean our shoes. And the choice is absolutely individual. Therefore it's inpolite to ask someone to take her/his shoes off.


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RE: Shoes Off

My upstairs neighbors must be fetished as they wear boots all the time.


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RE: Shoes Off

So tell me, what is an appropriate shoes/on shoes/off policy at the cottage? bare,wet feet can be slippery, covered feet can track in tons of sand.

Our rule at home and at the cottage is, people rule! I want evryone comfortable and glad to be in my home or cottage. Most people will take off thier shoes, especially if it is a wet and miserable day. If they don't it doesn't take much to wipe up. Lets get a grip on what is important!


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Don't you people that have people take their shoes off and walk around with bare feet know that that the oil on your feet is really bad for your carpet.


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I am confused. Surely when people take their shoes off they leave their socks on? So why worry about seeing feet, bunions, etc if you are really only going to see socks?


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People who are shy to take their shoes off, maybe have problems with feet smell, or socks, or pantyhose. Just one advise: take shower at least two times per day and take care that your socks/pantyhose look well. I am not for taking shoes off in any cases, but actually it is desired to prevent floors. Think about all the dirt of the streets, infection etc.
I'm also agree with Heydar that staying in shoes sometimes isn't appropriate psychologically, because it's too official. When I visit my parents they always expect I take my shoes off not because of floor, but just to feel that their daughter's come her former home. How can I say "no"? And I actually don't want to say no, I like it. Eastern cultures like Azerbaijan understand it better than in West, except Canada, Finland and Sweden, where people often take their shoes off.
Marie, Paris


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RE: Shoes Off

Some people say, " shoes express our personality, we don't want to take them off". But coat also expresses personality, and we never leave it on while entering a house! Just try to buy elegant pantyhose and socks, change them daily and have shower - and no reason to reject shoes off policy. Of course, I don't mean some official circumstances.


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RE: Shoes Off

in response to tims message-

In my home everyone is required to remove their shoes, as far as family, most of them do it without asking them to, and as far as friends some do and some do ocassionally. it is just that sometimes they get into these moods and just down right refuse. I am on a minimal income and can not afford to replace carpet every year. sorry it has taken so long in responding.


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RE: Shoes Off

in response to tims message-

In my home everyone is required to remove their shoes, as far as family, most of them do it without asking them to, and as far as friends some do and some do ocassionally. it is just that sometimes they get into these moods and just down right refuse. I am on a minimal income and can not afford to replace carpet every year. sorry it has taken so long in responding.


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There have been instances when I have been asked to take my shoes off at a party. Personally, for me it just shows the level of class someone has. I have just spent the last hour getting ready, picking out an outfit, or even shopping for one and that INCLUDES shoes. Then I come in and someone is asking me to take them off? It just ruins my evening and makes me feel like I am in a village or something. I never liked people who are too obsesed with their objects to sacrifice a little in order to mae others feel welcome. I just produces a bad impression and makes me feel very unwelcome. I can take my own shoes off if I feel they are dirty and I want to be polite.For people who find their carpet more important than making their guests feel welcome, that is just your choice.


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I agree with Nooneh!! Asking someone to take their shoes off to me says, "TACKY! TACKY! TACKY!!!!" You can't compare a coat to shoes! I never walk around my own home barefoot, I like my feet to be nice cozy and warm. I was invited to a party once. I had spent a great deal of time picking out my outfit( which always includes shoes!) I walked into the hosts' front porch and they came screaming out like a chicken with it's head cut off, "take off your shoes before you come in!!" No "hello! Welcome!!" But: TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES!!

I had spent a great deal of time finding the perfect outfit and to me, the shoes made my whole ensemble. I was disappointed and felt like I was not welcome. If people put all kinds of conditions on their guests they shouldn't have anyone over.

It's the year 2002 and if you don't want people to wear shoes then you should seal your house, live in a bubble and not entertain and have any guest.

Just my two cents

LL


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I can't believe this thread is still going on!

When my ex-husband left (at my request) I instituted a shoes-off-at-the-door policy during rainy weather. This was primarily directed at the parade of neighborhood children who came to visit my own kids. At the time I lived in a rented home in an area with no sidewalks. The house had newly refinished oak floors and light colored carpet. The floors were suffering in spite of my efforts to sweep daily and keep a large mat both inside and outside the door. My landlord was a fussy fellow who checked on the condition of his investment on a routine basis.

My ex was one of the worst offenders. I never once witnessed him actually wipe his feet when he entered any house. During the last year of sharing a roof he had his own room. When he moved out and took all the furnishings with him I could not believe the condition of the carpet in that room. It was filthy and blackened all around the edge of where the bed had been and had an odor I couldn't quite define. I used a home shampooer and cleaned it four times but still never quite got all the stain out. It was shampooed again by a pro who couldn't get it out either.

What was great about the muddy shoes off rule was that it kept my ex from ever really coming in! He would stay on the doormat because he didn't want to remove his shoes. Had I only known sooner!


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For me it really depends on the situation.

The neighborhood kids (mine included) are to leave their shoes near the front door. This is a neighborhood rule so the kids are used to it.

Tradespeople around here usually have shoe covers. If not, I ask them to remove their shoes when working upstairs (carpeted). Downstairs is tile and is easy enough to clean up so there is no point in asking them to take their shoes off.

When entertaining I do not ask people to remove their shoes as I think it would be tacky to ask people to remove their shoes at a nice party. Most of our entertaining occurs downstairs, which is tiled. Shoes are not nearly as hard on tile as carpet. It would ruin the look of their outfits, ruin the ladies stocking, and the tile might be hard and cold on their feet. I do not want to make my guests uncomfortable.

Mommabear


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Wonder if the people who insist you remove your shoes in their house also insist you remove your shoes in their car? Cars seldom have door mats, and my car cost a whole lot more than any carpeting!
Linda C


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We have a strict NO SHOES policy in our home. We have a baby who crawls everywhere and I won't stand for anyone wearing shoes inside and tracking some god awful virus or sickness in (just read gary's message!) I do not worry about her crawling around our floors and carpet because I know they are clean enough to eat off of. My child's welfare and safety is more important than someone feeling "uncomfortable" about taking their shoes off!!!!


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Ok but if your child's welfare is your goal, studies show hand-washing will go a lot farther. Do you make every guest march right over to the sink and wash up the moment they walk in the door? What about - gasp - shopping cart handles? Germs are everywhere.

Not that I disagree with a shoes-off policy. I think it's good for carpets in the long run, but I would not think it would keep germs away from children. Too many other places where kids will encounter shoe-walked floors and other germs. My nephew, when teething, took shoes out of dads closet and chewed on them :-) He survived (the shoes are a little worse for the wear)


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No one's carpets are clean enough to eat off of.....nobody's.

I had a get to-gether Sunday and the nature of the event was such that there were several families invited that I didn't know. A mixture of kids and adults.

Almost everyone took there shoes off, without being asked, excapt one couple. I didn't say a word, I would never say a word! These are guests in my home. I can always wash a floor......I guess it depends on wether your focus is your floors or your company!


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House chores like cleaning the floors are dull and ungrateful. When I was a kid, my mother taught us the value of the job done by housewifes. By that time, I used to invite some school friends home, I always asked them to slip their shoes off, since normally kids' shoes are muddy or wet, in that way we played and even wrestled on my bedroom carpet and we succeded in keeping it clean. As visitors, boys never felt strange being only in their socks, because they were warned they should have help me to clean up floors and forniture.
I agree to Shoes off policy, when we are talking about kids learning to be thoughful.


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I think it is the women who don't want to take their shoes off. They get into the high heels and the stomping but don't let the men walk louder or heavier than them.


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I saw this thread somewhere else ... maybe flooring?

I think it's a great idea, but not one that I enforce. I rarely wear shoes in my house, but if I can't break dh of the habit I certainly can't expect guests to comply.

While the soles of shoes can "carry" many things, so can feet. Not all feet are healthy.

And just out of curiosity ... those of you who don't allow shoes on your floors --- do you allow 4-legged pets in your house? Surely not. ;)


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Good one Cindy Mac!

Ann.


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Likely the people who demand that their guests remove their shoes also demand that their pets wear little boots and remove them inside.
Now if they could teach the dog to put them on and take them off on command......!
Linda C....wearing slippers....and who also wore them outside with the dog....so they now count as shoes.....


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I say "If your shoes are dirty or wet ~ Take them off!"

Before I had even moved into my brand new house, an inconsiderate worker tracked muddy clay through my cream colored carpet and down each carpeted step to the basement. Needless to say, our homebuilder had someone to come and clean it all up. It's just plain rude to track dirt and mud into someones house cause you're too lazy to remove your shoes.


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hi all,

just wanted to let you know that things have improved with my no shoes policy. most guest now remove the shoes before i answer the door, there is still a few problems with some. I agree with the previous post if they cant remove shoes before they enter then they have no business coming into your home.


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WOW I never new people left shoes on in the house. Here in Canada NO ONE wears shoes indoors. They are considered outerwear like coats. Also about the pet feet thing. In Canada dirty paws and wet fur are wiped before the dog enters the house.
I always though the TV shows looked fake as everyone leaves their shoes on on TV now I realize it's a USA thing.
I'm not judging you guys at all its kind of neat to hear how others live. I love being able to lay down on the carpet rest my head on the floor and watch a movie, or play with visiting children with toys on the floor without having to be concerned about germs. As to the comment about no ones floors being clean enough to eat off I beg to differ. We always wear clean socks in the house, and carpets are vacuumed if not daily then every other day, we also own a steam vacc and use it about once every week to two weeks so while I wouldn't do it I am sure you actually could eat off my floors with no ill effects.
BTW I have studies microbiology extensively and shoes get into many gross places where potential pathogens would be harbored. For example bird poop on streets may be visibly removed by rain but many disease causing pathogens still remain, cat/dog piss enough said, fertilizers that spray onto walk ways are toxic and should not be tracked into a house.
I don't think it's a comfort issue in Canada it generally stretchy slippers are provided to guests, bare feet are an equal faux paw due to possible warts ect... If someone has indoor shoe they generally bring them with them when going visiting.
It's amazing that we can live so close and be so different.
I really had no idea people in the states wore shoes indoors. When I told my sister about this thread she didn't believe me that's how uncommon it is up here for people to wear shoes in the house.


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I don't know where you live in Canada Alicia, but your statement that no one in Canada wears shoes in a house is ridiculous. Having lived in a number of cities in Canada as well as the US, and having visited in homes in both Countries, I can definitely say that the people that insist that you remove your shoes before entering their houses must be in a minority, because I have never met one. I have never been asked to remove my shoes and I would never ask a guest in my home to do so either. It just makes sense that if the weather is bad or your footwear is covered in mud, that you would remove your shoes, otherwise not.

Ann.


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Sorry Anne but your wrong. After I read this thread and was so shocked I did a search for it on the web it pulled up many other discussions about this topic and all the Canadian people who posted were in agreement with me. Funny how I have lived in Canada my whole life and you seam to think my statements are rediculous.
Heck check out the forum from this site there are 100 posts on the "organize your home" forum.

http://ths.gardenweb.com/forums/load/organ/msg061207135133.html?100

BTW why are you so hot and botherd about this?
You are rude saying I am redicdulous you don't know me.
You certainly don't know Canadian culture either.


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one more link to show you about the Canadian shoe removal

Anne here is another link to show you you're wrong 100 posts all Canadian ones say the same thing.
http://ths.gardenweb.com/forums/load/entertain/msg011841241300.html?83


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lol

BTW I would imagine most Canadians would also agree you are a very rude person.


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RE: Shoes Off

How funny. Since I am a Canadian too and live in Canada. Most of the time in Toronto and now in BC. I can honestly say that the people that I know would never ask a guest in their home to remove their shoes.

Alicia, I didn't say that you were ridiculous, I said that your blanket statement that "No One In Canada" wears shoes in their houses, was ridiculous. I am not really hot and bothered about this, only concerned about the wrong impression you are creating. I would hate for everyone from around the world, reading this thread, to believe that all Canadians were like this.
I guess we will have go with what each of our own experiences with the people we know, tell us, and agree to disagree.

Ann.


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Alicia, I just perused the link you provided. While the six (6) Canadian posters did say they removed their shoes in the winter, the majority said they wore their shoes/sandals in the house in the summer. My question would be ... Why is it ok some of the time, but not all of the time? Seems very contradictory. Is dirt seasonal in Canada?

I'm in complete agreement, as I'm sure are most people, that shoes should be removed indoors if they're visibly dirty or wet. And although I'd love to live in a house where no one wears shoes, I know that's an unrealistic expectation to put it mildly.

BTW, I loved the following response from Amy, sort of puts it all in perspective. "I request from my guests that all blue clothing come off and put in a pile beside the front door. I have used a warm color scheme throughout my fine home and I find the blue hues throw off all my efforts. It's not unusual to party at my house and find piles of blue jeans stacked at the door."


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LOL

I really can't believe this thread is still running! Anyway, let's all remember this is the ENTERTAINING forum. If you and your immediate family spend most of the time shoeless - I don't hink anyone would really care. However, if I am entertaining guests (or going to someone else's home for a party, dinner, whatever) then I think asking someone to remove shoes is totally uncalled for.

There is a difference when it comes to dressing for ENTERTAINING that includes wearing shoes. Slippers, socks, barefeet just do NOT cut it when sitting down for a nice dinner, or having cocktails, etc.

Also do not bring up workmen or service men in this conversation either unless they are on your "A" list of people to invite for social gatherings. And honestly, if you are paying the cable man or contrractors to come over to your house for social reasons you have lots more issues that need immediate attention that whether or not someone is wearing shoes in your abode.

JMO
Alexa


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RE: Shoes Off

I sure agree with Alexa! And would venture a guess that those that demand shoes off never invite people for a dinner party, or send out invitations to an open house.
"please come for cocktails to celebrate Jane and Rob's engagement.
6 PM April 23rd
black tie optional....shoes forbidden"
Linda C


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RE: Shoes Off

Well as a Canadian I would like to add my two loonies worth! Alicia you do not speak for all Canadians. The notion that all Canadians expect people to take their shoes of is truly ridiculous so guess I'm as rude as Ann! The notion that we Canadians have a supply of slippers waiting for our guests is double ridiculous!

I have never in all my years had an issue with this. If its wet and sloppy outside people just naturally take off their overshoes, and maybe they have slippers with them, more likely they have a pair of shoes to put on when the boots come off.

You speak for yourself not for Canadians


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Please Answer this Poll...

http://www.misterpoll.com/486547250.html

Here is a link that might be useful: shoes off?


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I know I'm ridiculously late in getting in on this conversation, but I have to say that I am appalled that a host/hostess would DEMAND that a guest take their shoes off!! Without trying to be too redundant (though apparently a little repetition for emphasis is in order for the clods that think THINGS are more important than PEOPLE, regardless of how much your THINGS cost...), how self-absorbed do you have to be that you would demand that people who are uncomfortable going shoeless in your house take off their shoes?? Not everyone who doesn't want to take off their shoes has sock issues or foot problems. I would dare say most people don't want to remove their foot apparel because, well, it's part of their apparel. And I can't imagine that you would have a baby crawling around on the floor if you're having a dinner party. I mean, really, you're more concerned with your floors than your guests? Really???!

Lori
(who, BTW, could care less if you're a guest wearing shoes or socks in my house, as long as you're comfortable, though I would be a bit wigged out should a repair person remove their footware to work in my home - ugh.)

P.S. The suggestion regarding putting vinyl/plastic runners down for repair/maintenance people is a great idea.


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If your possessions are worth more to you than your friends/guests, you can keep to yourself. I personally will not go to ones home where I am asked to remove my shoes. That is just plain tacky.


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I guess those of you who think you have the right to wear shoes in my house also have the right to "light up" if you want. They are both nasty and you will get to do neither at my expense. There is no need to be soiling someone else's home


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RE: Shoes Off

Wow! What a hot topic. I'm from western Canada, but have been to friends and relatives houses all over the country. I have never worn my shoes indoors, and everyone removes their shoes when they come to my house. I have had many parties and get-togethers, and I have never had to ask anyone to remove their shoes. It is commonplace here, and as far as I knew...everyone does it. Apparently I'm wrong after reading chase and Ann's posts. My dog and my cat do not wear booties. I wipe their feet after they come inside. I don't think there is anything wrong with this, and I certainly don't find it tacky or a sign of one's level of class.

The only time shoes are permitted indoors are if you're breaking them in, and have never been worn outside before. Or...you just have to run in quickly to grab something. This is only to be done if no one else is there to see it.


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Do you mean to say that you have a dressy party....with men in suits and women in cocktail outfits......AND everyone takes their shoes off at the door??????
Do you invite a bunch of people to a wedding shower, with champagne, candles a hired bartender a table set with your best china and silver.....AND you expect people to remove their shoes? Do you have 12 women for luncheon and an afternoon of cards....AND they all remove their shoes at the door???
I really can't believe that!
Linda C


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RE: Shoes Off

Linda,
Holy Cow! We agree!

(was that a pig that just flew by the window?)


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RE: Shoes Off

Linda,

It's not what I expect that matters, it's the way things are here. I can't say that I have had a cocktail party with suits and cocktail dresses myself, but I have been to some, and yes people remove their shoes. If I have a luncheon, dinner party, etc. the guests remove their shoes. Like I said, it is just what is done. I've never had to ask anyone to remove their shoes, and if they were truly part of the outfit, I probably wouldn't. I don't think this should be so upsetting to people, I'm not upset that you wear shoes in your homes. I went with a friend to visit family in California a couple of years ago, and we had no problem keeping our shoes on. It just doesn't seem like an issue for people to get so riled up about. I think it's just weird that people's opinions on this are so varied.


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Prarie Girl,

I agree that it certainly isn't something to get riled about. But.........I also think that one shouldn't make blanket statements like "it is just what is done". I too have been in many homes between Newfoundland and British Columbia and I have never once been asked to remove my shoes in a persons home. I have been the guest in a number of homes in Calgary without this ever happening. Having lived in the US as well, I can also make the statement that I have never been asked to remove my shoes any where in the US either. The fact that your experience with the people that you associate with do require the removal of shoes is fine, but please do make it sound like it it written in stone somewhere that all Canadians remove their shoes in homes. It is just "not so."

Ann.


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Wow. I have 2 friends who ask me to take off my shoes, and I do not mind! I would love for SOME people to take off their shoes in my house. I would NEVER request it at a party! My kids must, if staying in, remove their shoes, because they put their feet on everything. My 2 friends who request it...they ARE control freaks...one of them jumps all over you if you don't use one of her kid's FULL names...but the friendship is worth it so I don't sweat it. I live in NORTHERN Vermont, so in winter, all muddy, snowy foot gear must be removed at the door. There are some who don't, and I do mention it if they are tracking in! I do so nicely, however. For me, obviously, it is situational. I kind of agree that we make an investment in our furnishings and should protect them as far as is REASONABLE, but that you can get a little TOO MUCH---home's are meant for living in, and you don't want to make an idol out of a carpet...
Interesting thread...
Jillis...


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RE: Shoes Off

Jillis, removing muddy shoes on a slushy snowy day is a bit different than asking all who enter your home to take off their dress shoes.

My pest control guy and others who have jobs that track dirt, actually bring two pairs of shoes; one for outdoor, and then they change into their indoor-only shoes before entering the house.

My house is even worse than most I have lived in previously. But there are worse things to worry about than shoe-wearing guests. All my other homes had entrances that came into a foyer, or the kitchen. This flooring was usually vinyl, parquet or some other non-carpet surface.

This house has two entrances. One into the living room (carpeted) where guests usually enter, and the other into the basement. So for example, when I come home with groceries, I carry them from the garage, into the carpeted basement, up carpeted stairs, thru the carpeted living room, and finally into the kitchen. It would not be feasible to carry groceries from garage into the basement, remove my sneakers, continue to the kitchen and stow bags, go back down, put shoes back on, get next load, take shoes off, etc etc. What I really want is hardwoods in my living room. I'm saving up for it as we speak!!!


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Karen, Even if you weren't a Trekkie, your name would still be appropriate ... that's a lot of trekking through the house.


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Wow, I cant believe I read all these!
Well I guess this is the entertainment forum for a reason. My two cents - I like to take off my shoes to relax at home but would not expect others too. Germs, haha I aint afraid of no stinking germs, heck I can drop something on my shoe house floor and unless it sticks I can still eat it if I want. I am still living, and very rarely get sick. Does anyone eat at a restaurant at all..I have worked at a few and if you could only see what happens behind the closed door, foot traffic wouldnt bother you at all. But I am no pig either- if my shoes are muddy, wet, or dirty I will remove them at my house and if its your house I will tell you I better not come in my shoes are dirty. If you are a friend and I am to stay I will gladly remove my shoes. But if you asked me to remove my shoes everytime I came over then I probably would come over less and less. Dont get me wrong, I would take shoes off most of the time in my house once I am in to stay but frequently go in/out so most of the time they stay on. By the way my carpet is 8 years old and still looks great.


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Well, I just can't believe I sat here and read this whole thing instead of doing something constructive!Since I've already wasted my time I'm gonna go ahead and put my two cents worth in so here goes.....I take my shoes off when I'm at home and I am neither a hick or a snob-but prehaps somewhere in between!I do it because I am more comfortable that way and I love the way my clean soft carpet feels on my barefeet. People that come to my house can leave their shoes on or they can take them off-doesn't matter to me. at someone elses house it would not offend me to be asked to take my shoes off or to leave them on..I just don't care.I'm easy.Everyone that I know has enough sense of their own to take them off if they are muddy,etc. I have six boys.Four of them are grown and now I ahve a 2 year old and a 1 year old and none of them have ever gotten sick from a little dirt. I agree that what is on the bottoms of peoples shoes is nastier than their feet but I am careful with my carpets and they still look new (even though I wouldn't want to eat off of them rather people wore shoes or not) We also have a dog, and we just keep him clean and keep our floors clean and I don't worry about what I can't see. (I spray lysol on them about once a week) My babies play on the floor and the carpet and with the dog and they have never been sick except for earache. I think that having a pet and learning to be cosiderate of peoples feelings are more important to their growing minds than being paranoid. They have respect for the carpets (knowing that they can only eat in their highchairs,etc) I guess what I am trying to say is I keep my floors as clean as I can and I take very good care of my house and children(I have been to some homes where I would never put my children on the floor to play or want to walk barefoot on it) Thats the best I can do and I save my brain for worrying about more important things.


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I love to wear socks only in the house but due to a foot problem I have to wear heels all of the time. I agree that to keep the carpet clean you cannot wear shoes in the house however, under no circumstances would I ever ask a guest to remove their shoes before entering my home. I would never return to someone's house who did that to me either even though I do remove my shoes when entering some of my friends homes. Which is more important - your family and friends, which money can't buy or a carpet which can be replaced?


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RE: Shoes Off

Just my 2 cents - I'm another Canadian who has never seen anyone not take off their shoes in someone else's home unless specifically told to leave them on (for instance - at the cabin). Any home I've been in it is just expected. That said, I wouldn't ask someone to remove their shoes unless it was a child who might need to be reminded. But that said, if someone did leave shoes on I would consider it to be very rude and an insult. My husband and I also have seen American TV shoes with the actors putting their shoes up on a couch or worse - a bed - and can't believe it. Around here it's just good manners to remove your footwear.


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I can't believe this thread has been revived, possibly with the colder weather.... I agree that not ALL canadians have the shoes off policy, I certainly don't in this house.....
It's too easy to slip and slide wearing stockings only....
It's mostly adults who visit us and we go according to the weather.... very muddy and snowy, shoes off, but then people usually wear boots that have to go off anyway.
I have a carpet at the door for people to wipe their feet on.
I wouldn't appreciate visiting someone and be nicely dressed and have to trek on my stockinged feet....
I have stone floors on my main level so it would be uncomfortable for anyone to walk on stockinged feet.....


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RE: Shoes Off

Most people automatically do in my house. I wonder if women are more resentful of this issue than men, having to remove shoes. It seems lately in the U.S. the women have the high heels, but the men don't. A subconscious power issue?


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RE: Shoes Off

Here in very casual Australia, asking a visitor to remove their shoes would earn you a blank stare in most places. Even though I wander around my own home sans shoes, I would be surprised if a visitor removed his/hers, and I certainly would be unlikely to take mine off somewhere else unless I was visiting a very close friend or family member. Obviously if my footwear was dirty due to poor weather etc or if I'd just walked through a farmyard I'd take it off before going into a home.
If shoe removing were a condition of entry, I don't think I'd bother visiting again. I think it's wierd to value floor coverings over people.


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LATELY the women have the high heels and the men don't???

Ok, when did men have them and women didn't?

Even when men wore platform shoes, so did the women.

Whats the high heel point anyway?

Ok first it was a U.S. - Canada thing. Now it's a women men issue? Huh?


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After giving what these respondents have said deep thought, i have came to the conclusion that not everyone is willing to let their feet breath someone else's air, but they ARE willing to cost you lots of damage to your carpet and wooded floors. i find that for many it is easier to get around without shoes.

maybe the problem with inviting guests over is that they don't know ahead of time to take their shoes off. i'd suggest a notation at the bottom of an invitation announcing this news and informing them of what they CAN wear. " Sorry, no shoes. The house will be warm and you can bring slippers or holiday socks. thank you."

If not having a party, just make sure that people know ahead of time. i love to take off my shoes...but not if i've been wearing them all day long and my feet smell really bad. then my parents will take me to a friend (of theirs) house and i am expected to take off my shoes. that is the worst part.

People should get over it though because there are even restaurants now that you MUST take off your shoes to enter...there are holding places for them though. Hope i helped in any way.

: : : : [ s t a r g a z e r ] : : : :


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Come to think of it, at our last house most people did remove their shoes. We never asked anyone to do so, but I guess they took one look at that carpet (off white) and just did it. We didn't care either way, but I don't wear shoes in the house and DH wears slippers. I guess from their viewpoint, they saw us barefoot or in slippers, saw the cream carpet and just made their own decision. Frankly, that carpet was gorgeous but a $%(@*&$% to keep clean, so I was happy enough that most people did remove their shoes. (Note to self -- NEVER again, no matter how nice it looks or feels, get a carpet that color!)

If I were going to be a stickler and require it, I would put a shelf for shoes by the door and have a basket of soft, washable slippers or socks for people.


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RE: Shoes Off

I too tend to wear slippers from the moment I get home, but I too would NEVER visit anyone who suggested I remove my shoes when going to visit. It's downright rude! I suggest either better start cleaning or get darker carpeting.

As far as getting workers to take off your shoes that's so offensive I can't even think you don't even think so. My husband is a plumbing contractor. He has worked in Japanese homes where they prefer you remove your shoes. Out of coutesy my husband has, even though he & I both think it's a ridiculous request. He has though on occassion refused to do so b/c he does work with heavy equipment & electrical machinery & has to lift tubs & appliances & the shoes offer foot protection.

You must have a very lonely house with not many visitors!


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LOL This thread is hilarious! Do people actually stop being friends because they were asked for shoes to be taken off?

I would certainly respect the homeowner's request if asked politely and ESPECIALLY if it is a cultural custom.


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I just found this thread - I guess it's almost a year old by now!! I can't remember what everyone has said because the comments ran the gamut. However, IMO, floors are made to be walked on without having to think about it, unless there is an unusual weather condition that creates a problem with mud. No one wants mud tracked into their house, but unless you are in Japan (or another country with similar customs), people should feel free to walk in without having their feet examined.

Personally, I have a hard enough time getting service people to come inside my house at all, and I would never think of jeopardizing that by asking them to remove their shoes--unless I were expecting them to remove a bit more as well, which I'm not, but you get the point. I track dirt in and out of my house many times every day, and then I sweep it up every couple of days. If you have a crawling infant, it is a different story, but that is a special case and not appropriate for every day living. I hate sterile interiors. Man used to live in caves with dirt floors, and we survived. Take a trip to Africa or South America and visit some remote villages.

My BIL's first wife was Japanese, and he always takes shoes off at the door, but I don't when I visit his house because I don't have slippers, and it is not my custom to remove shoes at the door. I don't remove shoes when I enter an office or a store or a restaurant, which would actually be illegal! IMO, the guest should ask whether he should be allowed to remove his shoes rather than be required to. If your floors can't handle street shoes, you need to have your floors redone. There are some excellent new wooden floor materials that resist all scratches. Personally, I don't like carpet, as it collects dust and affect my allergies.

If a homeowner asks me to remove my shoes, I remove myself instead, unless I have been forewarned. This is not something you should spring on any unsuspecting visitor, including servicepeople. If their feet are sometimes muddy, then you should install a faucet at the front door and hose them off before they enter.

Lars


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( clap clap clap!) Well said Lars!
Linda C


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Linda, Lars, you are welcome in my house any time with your shoes. LOL

Ann.


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Hey, Lars, if you're hosing off servicemen at your front door, that might explain why you can't get them to come to the house anymore. :)

You're also welcome in my house, with shoues or without, anytime.

Alexmisc - yep, you better believe it. I've known friends to stop speaking over some of the most inconsequential things imaginable. I can only theorize that there's other issues and they are looking for an excuse to end the "friendship" anyway.


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RE: Shoes Off

I've said it before, I'll say it again ... I'd love to live in a house where no one wore shoes, but that's totally unrealistic.

I like the fact that we leave our shoes at the door of my yoga class, but that's really more a symbolic measure than anything. It's just another attempt to leave the "outside" world behind.


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Yes, in some ways this is a man/woman issue. Which gender has more problems with the shoes off policy? The women.


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And someone else said Canadians had a problem with it. There's no way to generalize. In this thread, there are examples of both women and men on both sides of the issue.

The workers who come into my home, on their own, have two pair of shoes, one for dirty outside work, and one they change into to come inside and do work. I don't ask, they volunteer, and I'm always impressed when they do. But I'd personally rather not have them barefoot. Don't know that that would be any more cleanly, after a hard day's work.


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I would certainly not want to walk around in someone's house, as a guest, in my stockinged feet, how ridiculous or even wearing slippers provided for me.... I would go barefeet before I wore borrowed slippers...... I have lower back pain and wear shoes in my own house at all times...
Of course, living in Canada , we carry our shoes with us and remove our boots when entering a home, so therefore our shoes are clean and dry.... I have slipped on stockinged feet and injured myself so I prefer to wear shoes....


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If you guys are so OC about germs and dirt why don't you buy a bunch of hospital booties (they are real cheap) and give them to your guests to put over their shoes. And what about repairman who go in and out getting tools etc when working on your house. They charge by the hour and I don't want to spend my money paying for them to take their shoes on and off. Besides, working in risk management I have to agree with the above poster, their WC policy would be nullified if they aren't in proper gear. You could be sued. I only know one person who requires the shoes off thing. Her house is all white marble. I wore socks (she warned me) and promptly slipped and fell and broke my wrist. They come to our house now.


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Oh what a giggle!!! A 4 year old thread ressurected!!! LOL! I thought the shoes off stuff was in limbo!!


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OMG, I always found this thread to be such a hoot! Sorat glad it's back, let's see what this generation of posters have to say! LOL

Love to see the names, so many familiar ones.

Asking a guest to remove their shoes, not in my home!


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RE: Shoes Off

I would never get mad because a friend or family member wanted me to take my shoes off. I would never let "shoes" come between my relationship with friends/family. (especially to the point of never going back) It would take a lot more than that to keep me away from my friends & family ~ they mean more to me than any shoes or carpet. It is their house/carpet. I think you need to do what works best for you. If a friend didn't care anymore about me to come back to my house just because I asked them to take their shoes off ~ we must have not been "friends" to start with. Don't mean to step on any toes. I really care about my friends & love my family. I can't imagine letting shoes/carpet stand in the way.


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If a "friend" put the value of material things over the comfort and pleasure of their invited friend then you are absolutely right Linda they probably weren't real friends to begin with. The comfort of my friends/family is a priority to me. Not material things. I would never ask any one to remove shoes, or any other article of clothing when they came to my home. I have a broom, mop, and central vac in my home and I know how to use them. NancyLouise


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I wouldn't ask a guest to remove his shoes upon entering my home, but I have had friends offer to do so when their shoes were wet, or dirty. I've told them it was up to them..on or off was their choice.

I've never been asked to take my shoes off when entering a friend's home but have offered to do so. They've insisted it was not necessary so the shoes stayed on after I made sure they were wiped clean on an entry mat.

Would I let a "no shoes allowed" rule break up a friendship? No. But I would be uncomfortable going barefoot.

I volunteer to host 2-3 charity functions in our home every year. Generally, this involves 25-40 guests each evening that I may/may not know and I would never ask them to remove their shoes. It's hard to believe that a host could do that and that all of the guests would comply.

And for those guests that don't want to take off their shoes....
Would you ask the guests to leave?


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I would never ask someone to remove their shoes.....and I am offended when asked to remove mine...
Recently I went to dinner at the home of an aquaintance with 3 or 4 others....and the table was nicely set and a lovely dinner was being prepared and they host and hostess greeted us in white sweat sox! I kicked my shoes off ( it was summer and I was barefoot and wearing sandals) but after ahout 20 minutes of standing with a glass of wine on the tile floor, my feet began to hurt and I said, I am sorry, but I have to put something on my feet. They said, of course! That's fine!...and were most gracious....but I was uncomfortable!
There was a time when I was younger and had a lot of carpeting instead of tile and wood when I went bare foot a lot....but when the door bell rang, I slipped into my shoes, or if I got caught without my shoes, I apologized. And i have nice feet!! No corns, no bunions and red polish on my nails!
Sorry but white sox just do not finish off a cocktail outfit like a pair of nice shoes do! LOL!
Linda C


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I am reminded of a friend of ours who does not let anyone walk on his floors with shoes on. It is his house, and his rule. He had a party and one of the guests refused to remove her shoes. She stayed out on the deck the whole time and talked to everyone through the window. She has been very close friends with the host for many years, and certainly knew what he is like. Most of the guests thought it was funny to watch her peering into the window. The overall thought was that she was being over petty and missed a good time. Go with the flow I guess.

DP


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This thread has made me think of the Sex In The City episode where Carrie regretfully takes off her Manolo Blaniks at a party and then they disappear....

As many have said, if I am asked to take off my shoes at someone's house, I will happily do so, and I will not be offended. But, I will never EXPECT, or ASK someone to do so in my house. If the floors and carpet get dirty, I clean them. It's not worth the aggrivation to be that anal about shoes... there are more important things in this world than if my carpets are spotless, like having friends over for a great evening...


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We don't wear shoes at home because the bottoms of shoes are just too disgusting!

But we never ask guests to remove their shoes. Most guests do automatically when they see us leave our shoes at the door.

We just had some visitors who came by the house three times, and they all left their shoes on each time. They had been tourists all day downtown, using public restrooms, and had walked along the beach. We wanted our visitors to be comfortable, of course, so I did the extra cleaning to get the sand and road grime out of the carpet and hardwood floors.

I'm from Texas and have lived in Boston and San Francisco. We now live on Vancouver Island (Canada), and always ask when entering someone's house if we should take our shoes off. If the host is indifferent, I keep my shoes on. I've been in houses where the floors made my socks/feet dirty.

We just had an indoor/outdoor dinner party for 20 people and we expected everyone to keep their shoes on, of course! The mop water after cleaning the kitchen was BLACK. I can't imagine living on a floor like that every day.

Cheers, from
SwampWitch


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It's true that people track "stuff" in on their shoes/feet. We know that. Looks like this debate's been going on here for years.

Someone stated waaaayyyy up there somewhere about HIV/AIDS. That's a little extreme, dontcha think? I mean, when's the last time you heard of somone contracting HIV from relaxing on the carpet while watching a movie?

I'm sure if you take your dog to the dog park and walk around, you'll bring something nasty home on the soles of your shoes. People spit on sidewalks. At the same time, little kids pick their noses and touch the remote....when's the last time you washed that???


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My carpets and hardwood flooring are not worth nearly as much to me as the dignity of ONE person who may come to my home with a hole in their sock or foot odor. I would NEVER ask someone to remove their shoes in my home. If they have been walking somewhere dirty or wet, I hope they do, but I will not ask anyone to remove their shoes. I have recently seen homes where they have a little engraved message on their door saying "Please remove your shoes". This makes me cringe! I don't usually have holes in my socks or foot odor, but I have been at gatherings at some of these homes and have seen people dealing with this embarrassment! Is your carpet really that precious to you? I think some people need to rethink their priorities!


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I have washable aea rugs in my foyer, where guests can wipe their shoes. Although I never wear shoes in my house, I don't ask that guests remove theirs.

In bad weather, I usually put out a few rugs so that by the time they reach the main living room, shoes are dry


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Interesting thread! :)

We wear our street shoes in our home most of the time, BUT we do take them off at the door if they are muddy, dirty, etc. and when visiting others, we do offer to take them off, especially if they are in their barefeet or slippers.

In some homes I would NOT want to go in my barefeet for sure! I was visiting a lady once and her little girl was crawling around on the floor and just prior to that, her dog was dragging his behind across the carpet! I was sure glad I had my shoes on!!


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This is my first post to this forum and the thread caught my eye because I have learned it to be a very contentious issue.

First of all, I am from an area of Canada (Calgary) where shoe removal is the norm. The winters are wet, slushy, with gravel, salt and mud. For the most part, it is automatic to enter someone's home and remove shoes. A pile of shoes at the front door at a party, especially in the winter, is very common. I would never enter someone's home presuming I can wear my boots where I have walked in snow, mud, salt and gravel.

For formal events like a cocktail party, people wear their boots and then change into indoor shoes that are dry. My mom hosted an annual Christmas Eve buffet which people would dress very nicely. Of course, we wouldn't ask the ladies to walk around in their lovely outfit without shoes, but it is a happy medium where people wear outdoor shoes and change into their indoor shoes upon entry to the home.

When repairmen or the gas man comes to read the meter, they do not remove their boots and are not expected to do so. However, they go to great measures to wipe their feet. Many people also have mats outside the front door and inside.

Summertime is a bit different. If someone is having an outdoor bbq and guests need to use the bathroom, generally shoes are not removed. It's almost a non-spoken convention. People just do it automatically, depending on the season. However, if the party is indoors, by sheer habit, most, if not all people take their shoes off. No one has to be asked.

The person from the US who spent time in Calgary - I was raised there all my life. I have to guess you visited in summer when it was dry and not raining. If it was winter (unless chinooking), you most likely were wearing boots and I would consider lack of boot removal to be very rude. It's just not done.

I moved to the US 4 years ago after spending a few years living in Korea. There, they remove shoes all the time and provide slippers at the door, because like someone mentioned, most Koreans sit on the floor to eat and they put their beds on the floor too.

Because it was habit for me, I automatically removed my shoes upon entering homes in the US. I posted a question in a forum as to why people walked into my house with their shoes on and that is when I found out that many areas of the US, people do not remove shoes and they have various reasons. I was shocked people would be offended to be asked. Where I come from, no one had to be asked. It was just done. I had absolutely no idea that the host/ess would be offended by my doing so or that I was making myself too comfortable in their home. I was shocked that some people equated shoe removal to disrobing.

Whenever I enter a home now, I ask if I should remove my shoes so to give the host/ess a choice, although the norm here in very dry AZ is to leave them on. I don't ask people to remove them here, although I would much prefer if they did. Since I have learned it's a regional thing, I am more accepting - although my husband and I do not wear shoes in the house. If I did, I would feel like I was drinking soup from the bowl or milk from a carton! My husband took a long time to "train", but now he does it automatically most of the time.

For those whom are guests in home and feel their comfort exceeds the wishes of the host to keep their home in good condition, would you smoke in someone's home because it made you comfortable? Would you refuse to use a coaster on a beautiful mahogany coffee table because you don't want to? How are those issues different from someone wanting to prevent the costly task of cleaning carpet or hardwood floors?

I was raised that when going to someone else's home, that it was THEIR home, to be on best behaviour and to be respectful of that. Since I am a guest, their rules are paramount and if they wanted me to leave my shoes on, I would do so because I'm not paying the mortgage.

As it stands, I am on the "When in Rome" camp. I respected the culture in Korea, I respect the culture in the US and I would certainly hope that an American from a non-shoe removal area would respect the wishes of the host/ess in a Canadian home. My home is a different story and if I didn't know it was so darn offensive to some people, I would request shoe removal. I expect my husband to respect the culture when we visit Canada - and that is shoes off, unless told not to do so, although some from Canada have posted that they don't do it or expect it. I'm wondering if they live in an area like BC where there is little snow.

From this long thread, which I can't believe is still going strong after over four years, it is obviously a regional/cultural issue. Those who are so adamant that their needs as a guest trump the wishes of the homeowner would not be welcome in my home. If someone's young child ran wild in my home, touched everything, broke things, I wouldn't invite them back. If someone started rummaging through my pantry or criticized the meal, they wouldn't be invited back. Why is respecting the wishes of a homeowner wanting show removal so different?

Here's a photo of a very common sight in Canada in the winter:

Here is a link that might be useful: Shoes at the door photo


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Shoes are like bras...

Yes, in my own home, I often go shoeless and braless. I've even been known to get a little comfortable (with both shoes and bras) at, like, my mom's house or if I'm spending the night at my best friend's house.

But, generally, when company comes over, I put on my bra and put on my shoes (or sandals in the summer). And, unless they were pilled high, really high, in mud, I wouldn't ask anyone to take off their shoes, just as I wouldn't ask anyone to take off their bra. Sometimes you just have to give up a little comfort to sustain a little class.


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Shoes are equal to a bra? I don't mean to laugh, but that's quite funny. Obviously, a vast majority of Canadians go braless in other people's homeS! LOL (NOt)

Class does not equate to culture or regional preferences. No one where I come from thinks its rude to require shoes off. No one has to ask. It's just the way it's done. People come to your house, they take off their shoes, but not their bras! ;)


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Fun to read!


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I take my shoes off at the door. I consider it common sense.

First, it's more comfortable. Shoes are unnatural and change the way you walk for the worse. Our feet have evolved over millions of years for a smooth, flexible, rolling gait which is made impossible by shoes. Read this article here: http://nymag.com/health/features/46213/index1.html

Second, my home is not the same as outside. My home is clean wheresas the outside is dirty. Unlike a public restroom I don't have urine splashes on my floors. No one spits on my carpet, animals don't urinate and defecate on my floors, vehicles don't leak fluids and oils inside, etc, ad nauseum. If your feet are truly dirtier than the shoes that wade through this muck, then I suggest bathing and changing into clean socks each day. If you're embarrassed by holes in your socks, please buy new ones. That they are hidden under your shoes is no excuse to wear threadbare socks.

Most first time visitors to my home remove their shoes at the door without being asked to do so. They take their cues from the large shoe rack at the entryway and my slipper-shod feet. I had several people over for the first time recently and nearly everyone took their shoes off at the door on their own. All but one. I didn't say anything but privately I marveled at the social ineptitude and "cluelessness" of this woman who trudged right in even as her five companions were taking off their shoes next to her.

Lindac, you're right about one thing - shoes may have been worn inside for hundreds of years. However for hundreds of years, these same people lived with their animals in thatched cottages with filthy rushes strewn about the ground. The idea that wearing dirty shoes inside the home is classy is laughable. More like medieval peasant.


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And the idea of padding around in socks or house slippers and dress up clothes is really declasse.
Or do your guests always wear jeans and sweat shirts?


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It must be wonderful to enjoy being barefoot for hours on end. I have no idea what that is like. After 1/2 hour without good support shoes or sandals, my feet hurt, then my lower back gets more and more stiff. A few hours later I'm in real physical pain and need an Aleve.

I'm glad there are so many fortunate people who can take their shoes off and move about comfortably. Since I can't, I guess I'm not welcome in your houses.


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We change into slippers at the door at my house.
Many of you may not realize that the workmen coming to your home are in their workplace. (Your home)and their jobs may require protective (safety) footwear. That's why many of them change into clean footwear at the door.
When I worked for homecare we had to do the same, we always had to wear shoes, when doing floors you could pull back a chair or such and injure your foot or drop something or to prevent burns. Safety Foot requirement


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