What to do for the party this year? Guest list issues

16 years ago

First off I am 8 months pregnant and hosting a Christmas party that is going on it's 5th year. It's a White Elephant, dinner and cocktails with heavy dessert party.

Menu done. Help hired. I even have a spreadsheet of decor that can be done by my husband and the helper I hired for the week for decor.

Here is my issue and if you do a search you know this is always my issue with this party.

Children.

Who to invite and not to invite this year.

Children: Last year as the one couple left the mother said "Don't worry tons of kids will be here next year." Which meant she will probably bring her very busy bee child this year with them. I don't want to say in plain English "no kids." So here is my wording on the invite, what do you think?

Mark the calendar, book the sitter, shop for a gift and head on over to Pink's house for the 5th annual White Elephant Christmas party.

Then I say in the invite Dinner and Cocktails.

Is this an obnoxious way to word it?

Second. Guests.

I want to cut the list back this year because I am pregnant. There are a few people that came last year or did not rsvp a few years in a row now. I am so afraid of hurting feelings. But, at the same time this is not the year that I feel like cooking for 25 and only having 15.

Last year there was one couple that showed up and didn't do the gift exchange. Which is not the end of the world but it was kind of awkward for everyone else. So do I just let that be or do I have extra gifts in case this happens again? I worry at the same time that they will never bring a gift down the road if I do that. But, I hate having people excluded. What would you do?

I have to mail these invites today so I am just a little paniced.

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Comments (6)

chase_gw
16 years ago
Some things change and some things stay the same......people don't change.

I would not hesitate to say "5th annual Grown Ups White Elephant Christmas party"

I'm a little confused by your post. Are you intending to say

"I want to cut the list back this year because I am pregnant. There are a few people that came last year or did not rsvp a few years in a row now. I am so afraid of hurting feelings. But, at the same time this is not the year that I feel like cooking for 25 and only having 15." That is not at all appropriate.

You know who did and didn't last year , use that as a measure. Invitations are not the place to lecture people on correct manners...they got them or they don't.

You could add a note saying ..."and don't forget your White Elephant gift!" but would have a few extras ready just in case.

PS: I cannot imagine inviting 25 people and not having them all be people I could talk straight up to unless of course it was a straight business thing. 125 maybe....
lindac
16 years ago
I would put a hand written note on the bottom of the intitation to the ones with the obnoxious child and say "Adults only please."
And if it's not too late I would word the invitation "Cocktails and dinner"....just to emphasize that this is not for children.
And I would omit the people who didn't come and who didn't RSVP.....and I might eliminate those that came and didn't RSVP.....and I would by all means have an extra gift or 2 just in case.
Linda C
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lowspark
16 years ago
Definitely eliminate those who don't RSVP. That's what I do.

I think your wording is just fine. My opinion is that people who don't get it and bring their kids should be told point blank, please get a babysitter, I'm not having any kids at the party. If you don't want to do it on the written invitation, tell them when they RSVP. And make SURE she understands.

As far as the people who didn't bring a gift, did they forget or just blow it off? You CAN have extra gifts, if you don't mind doing that every year, just in case. I have an annual "greed game" and I've always got one extra gift on hand. However, it's up to you. Because if they forget or don't bother, it's their loss. I would think that one time sitting out of that game, watching others have fun, would be enough to guarantee they won't forget next time.
gellchom
16 years ago
I like your wording with the "book the babysitter"! That's plenty. Very clever, in fact -- makes it sound fun, not issuing orders like "NO KIDS" or even "Adults only" does.

I wouldn't worry about the gift exchange or buy extras. If someone doesn't bring a present, I don't think it would spoil it or make anyone feel awkward -- after all, it's adults only!

Have fun, and congratulations on the baby.
mitchdesj
16 years ago
I would be clearer with the "no kids" wording; which means I would actually write "no kids". It's what you want, it's probably what 99% of the adults attending your evening party would prefer, but that's just me. I don't tiptoe anymore with my wishes.

For the gifts, I would have a few extras on hand so that each guest gets one.

Please post a feedback and I hope you have a wonderful evening !
eileenlaunonen
16 years ago
I have a annual Christmas Party every year...I send invitations and I always put on the bottom "Adults Only" I make no excuses as to why I want a night with adults I also feel if they can go without there kids Oh well stay home! I am unsympathetic as I find a sitter for my 4 children and they sleep out overnight from there own home so I find it hard to believe that most people with ample invite time cant find a sitter.