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How would you handle this gift dilemma?

Posted by cookingrvc (My Page) on
Mon, Oct 28, 02 at 19:05

Had a surprise party for my Dad the other night at a lovely restaurant; about 35 friends and family attended.

After dad had gone home and opened his gifts, he noted that there was none from one of his nephews.

He is concerned that his nephew gave him a gift, but somehow it was misplaced. Since he received lots of gift certificates to restaurants, stores, etc, he is afraid that it can be used by anyone finding it.

BUT, he doesn't want to assume that his nephew gave him a gift, and doesn't want to embarass him by asking. It is not in my cousins nature to NOT give a gift.

What would you do?


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RE: How would you handle this gift dilemma?



RE: How would you handle this gift dilemma?


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RE: How would you handle this gift dilemma?

Ooh, Sue, that's a hard one. Could you possibly explain what's happened to the nephew's Mom, stressing that your Dad wasn't *expecting* a gift from your nephew but going by the nephew's past generous behaviour he is worried that the nephew's gift may have gone missing and also would hate not to thank the nephew. She could then maybe bring it up with the nephew in a roundabout way without causing guilt trips if the nephew didn't give a gift for whatever reason and let your Dad know the result.
Otherwise I don't know what you might do short of approaching your cousin yourself and telling him what's happened.
You wouldn't want him to be wondering, "I wonder how Uncle John liked the gift certificate I gave him?" and never getting a thankyou.

RE: How would you handle this gift dilemma?

Or you could say, some of the cards got mixed up. Which gift was from Nephew Joe? I don't want to miss him in my thank you notes.

Then they may say, the fondue pot. You can then say, That's odd, I didn't see a fondue pot. I wonder if it got lost at the restaurant.

And if they say Nephew forgot to bring a gift, then at least you'll know, and you won't seem rude!

RE: How would you handle this gift dilemma?

I would suggest that your dad ask your cousin about the gift. If anyone else asks, and he did not bring a gift, he will worry that his lack of gift is the subject of family gossip. You said it would be unlike him to not bring something. So if he didn't bring something, he is probably already feeling bad. You don't want him to feel worse. If he did bring something, but it has been lost, there is probably not much that can be done, but the sooner it is known, probably the better. Again, dealing with it quickly and quietly is probably the best route.

RE: How would you handle this gift dilemma?

Thanks for the suggestions. Dad took care of it by calling his brother. My cousin had planned to take his car, but at the last minute met up with my uncle and commuted with him. He left the gift in his car and put it in the mail the next day.

Dad was pretty uncomfortable calling, but would have been more so if he had to call his nephew. Gossip isn't an issue with our family so we're cool on that front.

Thanks again.


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