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ideas for aunt's birthday when she doesn't want a party?

Posted by mar_cia (My Page) on
Tue, Aug 21, 07 at 15:51

She is going to be 80 ! We want to do someting nice for her but she has warned us all she doesn't want anything. I can relate - I hate to be the center of attention and her husband is no longer living so that makes it harder. We thought of having an informal picnic in Aug. but everyone decided it would be too early to celebrate her Dec. birthday. I am not very creative but I know some of you are. Any ideas?


Follow-Up Postings:

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RE: ideas for aunt's birthday when she doesn't want a party?

Does she enjoy family reunions? Maybe you could organize a "family party" near her birthday (I agree August is pretty far off) and have a nice cake with candles.

For my 50th, my husband gave me the nicest gift, and it might be nice for your aunt, too, because she doesn't like to be the center of attention and might not like toasts or tributes to her at the party. He contacted all the relatives and friends -- including old friends from school and even camp! -- and asked them to send him a favorite memory or story. He put photos in, too. I ADORE it -- it's the nicest gift I ever got. We had done this years for my parents' 40th anniversary, and they loved it, too. So you could do this for your aunt; buy a pretty scrapbook and ask all the relatives and, if you know who her best friends are, them, too, to contribute. Maybe you could invite a few of her friends to the dinner, too?

If all of this would still be too much fuss for her, maybe just have a small group take her for a little trip or something. Then the focus is off her, even though she is the guest of honor. We and my SIL's family are taking my MIL on a family trip for her 80th (although she LOVES being the center of attention!).

If that is still too much, then just take her to dinner at the best restaurant you can do and give her a nice gift and/or a generous gift to her favorite charity.

If I were your aunt, I would love any of these, because they all share the most important thing: they show you love and honor her.

You are a good niece!


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RE: ideas for aunt's birthday when she doesn't want a party?

Do you celebrate Christmas or Thanksgiving? If you do could you arrange a family "holiday" celebration and then have a cake for her. No gifts, just a cake and perhaps a toast to her , all the while pretending that the holiday was the real point of the get together.


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RE: ideas for aunt's birthday when she doesn't want a party?

Thanks for the great suggestions. I am working on some ideas and I think the album would be great. She wont' take trips anymore. But , her birthday is Dec 15th and we do celebrate Christmas, so maybe we could do as suggested and make it a family get together so it would take the pressure off of her. I really appreciate the input and kind words. Any more ideas would certainly be appreciated too.


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RE: ideas for aunt's birthday when she doesn't want a party?

There you go, then. Just do it at Christmas or at a pre-Christmas party, but make it a little extra special this year (and of course include a cake and candles), and invite any extra guests that would make her happy (like her best friends or a few more relatives).

I'm glad you like the album idea. Just leave yourself a LOT of time to put it all together. 2 of my girlfriends took me Chicago for a few days, which gave my husband a chance to put it together. He ended up having to pull an all-nighter anyway -- he had no idea it would take so much time.


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RE: ideas for aunt's birthday when she doesn't want a party?

I think, if she requested no birthday part, you should honor her request--and that includes sneaking it into another family celebration. She's old enough to know what she wants, and the best gift you can offer her is respect.

However, what if each family made it a point to visit or take her out to dinner (or to the movies, theater, concert, or a day spa, whatever special activity she enjoys). Perhaps you could organize a loose schedule so she had one or 2 visits a week for the weeks before and following her b'day. That way, you each get to do something special for and with her, but she won't be overwhelmed by a party, and it will be nice to stretch and honor her special birthday for several weeks.


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RE: ideas for aunt's birthday when she doesn't want a party?

I vote against putting her birthday with a Holiday party. Most people I know with Dec. B-Days hate that. Either do something special for her B-day or don't, as azzalea suggests. But, don't blend her B-Day with a Christmas Party. She's probably had enough of that her whole life.

Personally, although she said no party; I think a lot of people say that but may not really mean it or care. I would do a small dinner type party at a restaurant; even tell her in advance if you think she would really object then you can forget it. Make it simple...no balloons, or gifts required, just a nice dinner with her family and closest friends. A lot of restaurants have little rooms for that sort of thing. And, dining out makes it more of an activity than a "party" just for her.


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