I would never expect someone to open the wine that I bring to them as a host/or hostess gift. It is just that, a gift that they should enjoy at another time. Nor do I expect them to save it and open it the next time i visit.

When I plan a dinner, I plan it right down to the different wines served at each course and there is a good chance that the wine someone brought will not fit in with my menu.

As for the pool, I imagine having a pool entails doing a lot of laundry in order to have towels always available. I see nothing wrong with asking people who are using the pool to bring their own towels.

Ann.

I agree with Ann.

As do I.
A gift of wine is just that, not part of a pot luck dinner.
And I imagine large pool sized towels are in short supply at anyone's house, I would always bring my own.
Linda C

I have a pool and do keep a large supply of towels ready for guests, however, I always include the phrase "Don't forget your bathing suits and towels for the pool" when finalizing our plans. When you have a pool, you do a lot of entertaining. Although I love to entertain, I'm not thrilled about doing laundry. Denise

I also have a best friend who has a pool and deck so she normally loves to sociallize. However over the last summer when she had various small groups of people over every week, she had to do 3 extra loads of towels and buy $10-$20 in sunscreen every week! (not to mention the cost for the chemicals and the large electric bill for the pool!) As good guests we need to remember that this is someones house, not our own small resort :)

Absolutely agree with all of the above! Wine is a gift and one should never expect it to be served that night.

It's OK for the host/hostess to ask you to bring your own towel....and don't forget to take it home! When I had a pool folk would bring their towels and then forget them so I ended up washing them anyway! LOL

Ditto to what everyone else has said! I'm one of those guests who never thought to bring their own towel. Thanks for the "heads up" on this.

Denise

Most of you mis understood the original message. We are talking about my brother and he has no one over to his pool ever. So we are talking about 2 towels, the same 2 I would use if I slep tover and showered.

Get it.

No respond to that.

My sense of being ahost is simple. You come and I supply everything. You should'nt have to bring anything when you come over to my place.

I understood that he was asking you to bring beach towels for the pool party. Are you saying that for sleepovers, he asks you to bring bath towels, also? If so, that is a little odd. I usually drag my own towels to pool parties just so we can be sure to have our own towels, at the end of the party. But I've never had a host suggest that I bring them. As a guest, I try to be as little of an imposition as possible. I bring my own sunscreen and make sure to bring a dish or bag of chips or something fitting to the pool party in question.

Growing up, we had a pool. We never asked, but everyone always brought their own towels anyway. I kind of expect that. It's complementary to bringing your own swimsuit. The two go together. My familiy never had extra beach towels or swimsuits to loan out. Each person in the family had one beach towel they called their own. Any other towels were bath towels and those weren't brought outside.

I don't think your brother is being a poor host by requesting you bring your own towel. He may not have extras. Most people don't go swimming and then use that same towel to bathe with later either.

I did not misunderstand....I simply don't agree.

whizzard,

Just go, take your towels and figure it out when you get there. You're making a big issue out of a teeny issue.

Denise

LOL!! Way to go Denise....
Don't sweat the small stuff....when there's a lot of big stuff out there!
Linda C

I don't know if it was "proper" or not for your brother to have asked you to bring your own towels to his pool party but I surely wouldn't have been offended like you seem to be. I don't have a pool but my brother does. We always take our own towels.
On the wine, it would be a gift, would it not? A gift with "strings" attached is not really a gift. They can do what they want with the wine. Maybe your choice of wine doesn't fit in with the food being served. Also, why expect them to serve it, maybe they don't like it. It's thoughtfull of you to bring something but that's as far as it goes.

I agree bring your own towels..

I'm still drinking the wine people gave us during holiday season parties! Certainly don't remember who bought which bottle. (Except the Romanian wine my Romanian friend brought).

Its your BROTHER whats proper about a sibling realtionship if it was me id remind him to bring a case of Budweiser too!! LOL Seriously though I grew up with my parents as the neighborhood and family entertainment committee due to the very big built in we had and yes many a towel disappeared no because people robbed them but alot of people wrap themselves in a towel a forget its not there own...none the lessI always bring some anyway especially with a family of 5. Now about the wine..I always bring a host bottle and then I bring one for the day and ill say "Keep this for you well open this one today!" My BIG PET PEEVE: PEOPLE WHO COME TO YOUR HOUSE EMPTY HANDED...MY GOODNESS NOT EVEN A BAG OF CHIPS!! UGH!

wizard,
why ask advice and get mad when you don't see your answer?
We have plenty of towels for several overnight guests...and if not I would go out and buy a bunch for 8-10 dollars.
But having a pool and being a family of 5 some days we go thru 2 or 3 for each of us. And at 20.00+ for the thicker & bigger ones why should I pay out hundreds for towels that guests could provide? The pool alone is costly...be glad you are asked to enjoy it. And you might want to pull that stick out.......

I have a pool and oftens have guests over to use it - both friends and family. In our area of the country, people always brings their own towels for the pool, even if I don't mention it.

Is having to bring 2 towels really a big deal? It's not like he asked you to bring a 4 course meal and beer and wine. Don't bring any and see his reaction if it is important to you. I also agree that the host does not have to open the bottle of wine that you bring. Maybe they had planned on serving a different type of wine with their meal or a different beverage all together. It is a gift afterall and you give someone a birthday or Christmas gift with the expectation that they are going to share it with you. IT'S YOUR BROTHER!

Can I go in your place? I wish my Brother had a pool! If he did, I'd bring my own towel--whether he asked me or not.

We've had a pool for 30 yrs. and with 2 kids growing up and lots of their friends coming over, I always made it a rule to bring your own towels. I do not do that with adults, but the majority of our friends always bring towels. I certainly appreciate it, but do not request it. As far as the wine, unless you offered and they asked you to bring a certain wine to go with dinner, I would just bring a bottle as a gift.

We've had a pool for 25 years, and I have two large wicker baskets full of towels. Some are our old beach towels and bath towels, some are towels left at the pool and never reclaimed. None of them is great. If you want a nice, cushy, bright towel, bring your own...and most people do, tho I don't ask. I have plenty of not-so-great towels to offer those who don't bring one. IMHO, towels are about the easiest laundry to wash, dry and fold. To me this isn't a big deal.

This is an old question, but I wanted to answer because we had a pool when we were growing up. Similar to sudiepav above, my mom had some extra, not so nice towels if someone forgot to bring one. But when people were invited she always asked them to bring their own towels even though she had extras. Beach towels or those used to dry off after swimming are not the same as bath towels. Beach towels are bigger so they can be wrapped around your body or used to lay on. Maybe this is the case - your brother has bath towels, but not an extra stock of big towels to use after swimming.

I also read that if a person brings wine as a host gift, it should not be expected to be opened to drink that night. It is a gift for the people throwing the party. An exception would be if I called the couple and asked if I could supply the wine or beer for their party as an offering to help with the food and beverage. If they said everything was covered, then any wine I may bring would be a host gift for them to chose when they want to drink it.

Bringing your own towel is just normal thing. Its a personal hygiene.... and maybe they don't have enough towel to be used by the guests or visitors. Opening the wine you bring is also not an issue. As long as you already give it. They have the right to do whatever they want whether to open or to keep it. Thanks.

It is fine to tell them to bring their own towel! it is personal hygiene And besides, do you want to do fifty rounds of laundry from when kids/parents used YOUR towels?

Hell! Grab a bunch of towels from the thrift store for those that forget, bring a bottle as a gift and a chilled box for the masses, maybe a 12 pack of beer also!

Do a cannonball and throw the kids around!

Wow! A 16 year old tread back from the dead!

I'm glad someone revived it, though, because a gift of a bunch of inexpensive beach towels is a fantastic idea! Doesn't solve the laundry issue, though, but at least Brother will have a few extras for guests who forget.

whizzzard did make an interesting point that you use a towel when you're an overnight guest, too, and it's the same amount of laundry, but no one expects you to bring your own towel (and sheets!). But logical or not, I've always understood that it's good manners to bring your own towels when invited to someone's pool, so I always do, and I would not at all think it rude to be asked to do so.

And S/he was wrong about the wine, of course -- hosts do not have to serve it to the givers, then or later (in fact, it's rude to insist upon it, as the hosts may have chosen other wine for the meal). It's amusing that s/he asked about that, in light of his/her own statement regarding towels: "My sense of being a host is simple. You come and I supply everything." Well, then why would you expect the wine you brought to be served when you are the guest, if your host is supposed to supply everything? It does sound like whizzzard had a chip on his/her shoulder.