My brother and his wife will be married 40 years in August. They live in Connecticut. My sister lives in NYC and I live in North Carolina. We want to surprise them with a gift but can't decide between a lavish restaurant meal for just family, a catered party for a larger group, a thoughtful gift, or something like a gift certificate for them for a weekend at a nearby resort. We don't have a specified budget yet, but no one has money to burn, including their own children. We all have smallish families, but they have lots of friends. What have other people done in similar circumstances? If you arrange a catered party, does everyone help pay or just immediate family? I'm clueless.