The reply card, with Cat and the Hat graphics, reads:

I could, I would attend___
I could not, would not attend___
I could not, would not send a gift___
I could, I would send a gift___

I'm okay with the first two. The last two references to gifts just leave me speechless. So I wonder how many people they think will actually check No. 3--I will not attend and I won't send a gift.

Never mind that I probably would have attended the shower for a very nice neighbor (it's a second child and I usually don't attend second showers) or delivered a gift, as I did for the first shower that I was unable to attend. And most likely I will send a small gift for the second child.

But you can bet I will not attend this shower and I'm even considering not returning the reply card. I think I will call the hostesses so that they can fully explain to me their concern with gifts.

Have you ever seen such?

But I would not (or should that be, "would not, could not"?):
-- decide whether or not to attend based on the hostesses' bad taste, thereby punishing the guest of honor for their lapse
-- call the hostesses and ask for an explanation for their wording, much less for "their concern with gifts." (Isn't the whole point of a shower gifts?)

I might feel different if the lapse were something really awful -- like a bigoted theme, or something illegal. But this is only bad taste, not meanness, cruelty, or crime. Maybe they were trying to go for 4 lines to be more like Dr. Seuss or something, or they just didn't know better. Hey, at least they included the choice of not sending a gift!

I would just let the invitation go without comment, and attend or not as you would otherwise. But I certainly agree with you that it's a pity they messed up such a cute idea that way.

Is it a book shower? That would be a terrific idea, especially for a second child. In fact, it would even allow guests to buy one gift for both children -- let the big sibling open it; the baby won't care.

Actually, I would spend the time to come up with a similar 'cat in the hat' response that let them know how "unacceptable" the invitation is -- but then I wouldn't send it. :)

I'm seeing here that it's a new trend to have a baby shower with each pregnancy. Prior to this, I've only heard of two "extenuating circumstances" where there was a 2nd shower: in the first case, the (accidental) mother-to-be was over 40 years old and it had been more than 15 years since she had had a child. That made perfect sense to me. In the second case, it was my cousin's wife who had learned that she was FINALLY going to have a girl (she already had 4 or 5 boys at that point and was pushing 40 herself). Only family members were invited and we all happily attended.