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Is this wrong?

Posted by bluebuckaroo (My Page) on
Fri, Feb 24, 06 at 7:06

My daughter graduated from college in 2002 with her bachelor's degree and we had a big party with dinner, dj, etc. to celebrate with about 100 friends and family members at our local community center. She just graduated with her masters degree and I'd love to celebrate this accomplishment on a smaller level - still at the community center (because our house isn't big and we have crazy dogs) but more of an afternoon luncheon. Is it wrong to celebrate a college graduation twice? Will it be looked upon as another plea for money/gifts rather than a celebration? Your help is greatly appreciated!

Follow-Up Postings:

RE: Is this wrong?

It is not wrong to celebrate your your daughters' accomplishments. She should be congradulated on them. But personally I think another party is a bit much. An intimate luncheon at your home with just immediate family would be more in line. NancyLouise

RE: Is this wrong?

I agree with nancylouise. It's always nice to have a party, and it's always good to celebrate the good things in life.

But you have a sneaking feeling that another big party for such a similar event so soon seems like a request for gifts. As a guest, I would be surprised to get an invitation to another graduation party for the same student so soon -- especially because the last one, a party for 100 with a DJ, is the biggest college graduation party I have ever heard of. It's like a big birthday party -- nothing wrong with birthday parties; in fact, I love them, but I would find it a little odd to be invited to a big party for the same person every few years.

Maybe you can think of some other treat to celebrate this time instead of a party. How about a trip, a special gift, or dinner at a fancy restaurant for a small group?

Congratulations to your daughter on her accomplishment!

RE: Is this wrong?

I don't think having a celebration for both things is wrong at all, but the size of the celebration may be a little too big when you've already had one recently that big.

If the party would be mainly relatives (like if you just have a really big family) it would be ok. But, inviting neighbors, old friends, etc... that may not really care about her master's degree, may be too much. It may seem a little like you're spoiling her which such big parties. Do others in your (and her) circles do this?

Then again, I would just do what you want. I don't think anyone would "really" care if you were having another party for her (they may even think it's extra nice and loving). And, you could always put "no gifts please" on the invite. Have you asked your daughter what she would like? She may prefer something smaller (or the money to keep for herself). Maybe you could treat her and some close friends to a spa day or something.

RE: Is this wrong?

You should celebrate if you want to! There's nothing wrong with throwing a party for any reason. I would put on the invitation, "Please, no gifts; we just want you to join our celebration!" (like carla35 suggested).

There's nothing wrong with celebrating your daughter's accomplishment of another degree.

Cheers, from

RE: Is this wrong?

Personally, I'm not big on parties for college graduations--that seems sort of 'little kid' to me--but we all live in different areas of the country. Practices in your area may be very different and I have a daughter who didn't even want a party for her high school graduation--so I'm definitely projecting my own situation here.

I'd say that it would be excessive to expect guests to give another gift, but if you and more importantly--she-- want to have a party, then do so. Just make sure that everyone knows that you want their presence, not their presents.

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