Lisa, Squirrels plant pecans and acorns in my garden constantly, and I pull them up constantly. When they plant them in the yard, I just mow 'em down. But when they plant them in flower or veggie beds, I have to yank them out. Courtney, Today, the funeral procession took us from the Ardmore Convention Center on the north side of Ardmore, all the way down Hwy. 77 into Marietta (about 25 miles), and then west on Hwy. 32 for miles and miles and miles to Leon. Guess what I saw ALL along the way.....mimosa trees, everywhere, and in full, glorious bloom. If I saw one, I saw a hundred or more. Every size from tiny (4' tall and blooming!) to huge, covered in flowers, in yards of fancy homes and simple ones....in yards with fairly elaborate landscaping, to un-landscaped pastures with just the mimosa tree and the house. I was thinking that if you were with us, traveling down those roads, you just wouldn't believe how many mimosas we were seeing! Seeing them all reminded me one more time how much I love the way they look. And, they do reseed vigorously, as Lisa said. I saw one in the hwy. median on I-35 on our way up to Ardmore, and another in a creekbed a couple of miles south of Marietta. Dawn

I think you can make some distinctions between "organizing" and simple daily cleanup that you might do as part of living in a family--doing the dishes, putting away laundry and so forth. --I know they're related in the sense that underlying order helps with maintenance and cleanup, but that's something for your own home; really, you don't need to clean out the attic in your parents' home or throw out their plastic containers. So it is definitely not healthy going into drawers and closets in attempt to "organize"--these actions are part of the parent-parent-child power struggle and you are seeing yourself in the wrong role. You might try a family meeting, but that could be hard without a neutral party such as a family counselor--it would be again, the 21-yr old being the family/marriage counselor. It could be done if you were able to use it simply to state your discomfort and what you feel comfortable doing vs. not, and to ASK for their support. You wouldn't be able to lay down any ultimatums, such as "you have to..." It sounds like you are already at a point at which you would need to have conversation with your dad alone, to some extent, in that you have identified him as a driving force requesting you to fix your mother--if you can't talk with your dad or if he doesn't "get it" in conversation with you alone, he won't get it in the presence of your mother. But, see, you would have to really WANT to stop being in the middle in order to propose to your father, here, I can do this and this, but I would prefer it if you would not ask or expect me to that and that. You could stay there if somehow you are able to change YOURSELF--to develop some serenity and distance from these struggles and just smile and fix an occasional meal, do daily and weekly chores as a good citizen of the family, and, if you really like organizing, graciously do so whenever your mother gives you a target drawer, etc (assuming she doesn't later accuse you of doing it wrong). Some people can manage a year like that. But, another approach as mentioned is to get out your pencil and paper and calculuate your way into moving out and continuing school on your own even if at a slower pace. You would be the one to know whether your father would be willing to discuss tuition or a loan if you move out. But, it can be done with or without their financial support. You could do either approach, and it's not completely wrong to stay to get tuition if you can manage all these other emotions and situations, but you can't really stay and stew about why your parents won't change. It isn't really good for your siblings to watch that dynamic, either, because it certainly won't be a successful strategy for them to follow as they get older. One of the reasons why protecting your siblings isn't a helpful rationale is that, under that reasoning, you would have to stay there until they all leave home.

I guess I should be thankful that my parents do not shower my kids with toys and other material things. I remember when my kids were little and were always getting stuffed animals as gifts. My mother saw how many they had and vowed never to ever give another stuffed animal as a baby gift to anyone-she didn't realize so many people gave them as gifts that kids were overwhelmed by them. My mother, as mentioned before, frugal as well as extremely practical, asks me what to get my kids for Christmas and birthdays. Much of the time, I can't even think of anything much, so often she'll get them one thing they want and then give them cash for their personal savings accounts. MIL used to give us things that my kids had no interest in or were just clutter toys they didn't use (she lives far away) but thankfully now she sends Visa cards or a check. Coincidentally, today I went to visit my parents for lunch - my father wanted to show me where he kept all their personal financial/bill paying info in case something should happen to him (my mother is mostly computer illiterate except for googling on an iPad). While there, my father mentioned that he was going to clean out the attic soon. When I mentioned that I didn't think he had anything up there, he said it wasn't much, but much of it apparently mine! I didn't even realize they still had it (an old bike rack from my car, an old ride on toy my kids used to use). I looked around their kitchen and told them I was so thankful they were not collectors/consumers. If they ever downsize or when they both pass, it won't be too difficult a task going through their things. Well, except for the hundreds of books on my father's office. Aside from that, not too much stuff. For the most part, my friends, though consumers, do not live amidst clutter. In fact, the majority of my friends have fairly well-kept, clutter free homes. Even when I stop by unexpectedly...their homes are not full of clutter. Do they look lived in? Sure, but that doesn't mean clutter necessarily. There might be stuff on the counters from breakfast, or a laundry basket full of clothes waiting to be folded, but not toys everywhere or piles of stuff everywhere. Offhand I can only think of one friend who has a lot of clutter...mostly toys, and yes her kids are totally spoiled and are the definition of spoiled brat. I totally agree with TheRedHouse that it doesn't take much energy to acquire things, especially in my family with four kids who seem to bring home paper and more paper from school despite being a "green" school. As for projects, I stopped being sentimental long ago and throw most of their projects out. If something took a lot of effort and they want to save it, we take a picture of it. My son has a science project due soon and they've even stopped doing the tri-fold displays...now all the info is entered into a google doc online where they can be creative using downloaded images, fonts,etc. Heaven!!!!! And to think I saved my other kids' tri folds for him to use as examples-now I can throw them out! Oh, does anyone have any use for Madame Alexander dolls? :) I'm not sure why MIL thought they made a good gift but for years she gave them to my dd-knowing we had absolutely no storage/display space for them. And why a kid would want a doll that just sits on a shelf? for years they've been sitting on a shelf in her closet in their original boxes b/c I couldn't bear the idea of just giving away these expensive dolls! And too lazy to try to sell them on Craigslist or eBay. See, this is how some of us obtain clutter....

Shaving cream and shaver stays in the shower. Mirror is overrated. My face looks the same every day, so I don't need a mirror. I just memorized where I put my nose, my ears, and my mouth :-) Seriously though, I do realize that this is a personal choice. For myself, I can't think of any better option. I hate when I occasionally need to shave at a sink when travelling. It's always so messy. But I do realize it takes a little getting used to, when you first learn how to shave in the shower. Also, it helps that we designed our shower niche to have dedicated storage for my razor and for the shaving cream. I could see how things would be annoying, if you can't figure out a solution for that. But if that's your main issue, you'd think that there should be a way to fix this problem. There are lots of shower caddy systems; some better than others.