Update: The neighbour has shown up again dictating his expections and that he was angry and annoyed that we havn't built a fence on our property and he expected it done in 6 months. Although we have told him now 5 times what we will agree to. He rang the doorbell for 10 minutes last night, when I was in bed sick and showed up again the next night asking for my husband. I finally told him it is none of his business when we build a fence and the we were also angry and annoyed and to go home to his family and quite knocking on our door and don't come back. Basically I lost my temper. Now what???? He is now telling the other neighbour and the new neighbour I am a B.... and Psycho.

I would think the other neighbors know who is the psycho, not you. Write him a letter and keep a copy that you no longer want to be bothered with his demands and to cease and desist. Maybe something along the lines of don't come knocking on our door about this anymore and also include in letter about you not agreeing to this fence. He sounds like a bully. Sorry for your neighbor problems.

Thank you. This morning. Just after I wrote into this blog. The man waited until my husband left for work. Showed up again at the door knocking. I didn't answer. But this time he left a note, once again repeating what he wants. I will take your advice and write the letter and let my husband proof read it and let him drop it off. Thanks for the advice.

This is harassment. You have grounds to call the police in my opinion. You have asked him to not come back and bother you about this issue and yet he continues.

Since you signed on today to tell us about your fence problem, I suggest you call the police and tell them this man is harrassing you and that he waits untill your husband leaves. Now, if someone was doing this to my wife, the man would find himself in a world of hurt.

I know you signed on today to vent. The first time he came over was his fault. The fact that your husband or you are not contacting authorites, makes his continued harrassment your fault!

Thanks for the productive advice that I requested. I have contacted a lawyer after the note and have been giving advice on how to procedd. The person who stated writing a letter and outlining what you do not want was correct. That is legally what you need to do first is these situation. You started, with a verbal request, then written if it continues then you purse the next step. Police and you have to keep all the documents. So thank you for that advice. I was looking for that. As you texas blah blah your suggestion about calling the police was appreciated althought the remainder of your email was insensitive and not helpful to this situation You wife is lucky she has a husband that stands up for her, my husband doesn't and avoid confrontation so its very hard for me to do this on my own, so give me a little credit. GEES

Your neighbor has a point. In his mind, you suckered him into building a fence at his cost, and now you are using it for free. When you directed him to construct it completely on his own property, this was in conflict with the original plan of sharing a fence line. Who got all 5 neighbors together on this in the first place? If you were the ringleaders in this shared neighbor fence plan, you definitely need to follow through and build your wood fence on the common property line, not just along his property, but around your entire lot. Or pay him something for the fence he built. I think he deserves at least half the cost of a wood fence. Or just build the fence you claimed to be planning to build.

If he takes you to court, and brings another neighbor as witness, and they convince the judge that you decieved the neighbors into building fences that you never intended to share the cost... well good luck proving your case unless you follow through and build the fence you planned.

Fences are the number one thing that burn neighbor relationships. My philosophy is the cost of a fence is a small price to pay for a good neighbor. If you need a fence that bad, pay for it yourself and get over it. Your main mistake was getting 5 extra people involved to agree on something that was for your own benefit in the first place.

Hi Aidan: I think you are confused. We have paid for the cost of pressure treated to all neibours. But this man won't except the money we are giving as he says its not enough. And has become hostile. He wanted the upgrade and now expects people to pay for the upgrade. He was told before he put up the fence what we will pay him and it was written on paper so there was no maliciousness or deception involved. And we have built pressure treated fence on all the other sides and paid for it ourselves. There was no ringleader, people just wanted different things, most wanted pressure treated. The main person that changed to vinyl accepted half the cost of pressure treated, but it is only one man that is pursuing and feels burned. However, he was clearly told we would only pay for pressure treated. But he went ahead a put it up anyhow. Vinyl fencing is 15, 000 dollars for one backyard. Good neighbour fence is 2000.00 for one backyard. I think he should get over it. He wanted the vinyl white fence so my opinion he can pay for it. And if he doesn't want some money for it because it not enough so be it. What can you do, but it the harassment thats the issure now, I have got some good advice for that.; So blogging out!!! This is is like playing telephone...

Tell the neighbor no, that he is not welcome on your property, and that if he continues to harrass you then you will report him - and then do that. I wouldn't call a lawyer, I'd call the police. I don't think this is about that fence anymore =/

**Your neighbor has a point. In his mind, you suckered him into building a fence at his cost, and now you are using it for free.**

"In his mind" is the key phrase here. "In his mind" is not the same thing as "in reality." Just because he is a deluded bully doesn't mean he has a point.

I would never expect my neighbor to share the cost of a fence I built. It's my choice to fence my yard or not. It so happens that in fencing my yard I also fence part of my neighbor's yard, but that doesn't mean my neighbor should pay for half of it--it's just a side effect that is part of the nature of a fence. Everything I do to my yard or to the outside of my house has some effect on the neighbors, but that doesn't mean they should pay for it. If I renovate my house and front yard so it has curb appeal, thus giving the neighbors a nice view and a tiny boost to their own property values, should they pay for part of my renovation? Of course not.

**When you directed him to construct it completely on his own property, this was in conflict with the original plan of sharing a fence line.**

Which should've been a clue to him that the original idea of sharing the fence wasn't in the cards anymore.

Directing your neighbor who's building a fence to build it completely on his own property is just normal--your neighbor's additions need to be on your neighbor's property, not yours.

**Who got all 5 neighbors together on this in the first place? If you were the ringleaders in this shared neighbor fence plan, you definitely need to follow through and build your wood fence on the common property line, not just along his property, but around your entire lot.**

No, she doesn't. All her husband told the obnoxious neighbor was that they "MAY want to match up" their existing fence with wood "in the FUTURE," so he should keep his fence--which went along only one side of their yard--on his property. How does that make them obligated to build a wood fence at all, much less obligated to build one around all sides of their yard? It just doesn't.

"All her husband told the obnoxious neighbor was that they "MAY want to match up" their existing fence with wood "in the FUTURE," so he should keep his fence--which went along only one side of their yard--on his property. How does that make them obligated to build a wood fence at all, much less obligated to build one around all sides of their yard? It just doesn't"

So now this obnoxious weird neighbor has the right to come around behind his fence (which exists solely on his property) in order to maintain that side of the fence and the little strip of property. It is pretty obvious that that will not sit well with the OP, so she had better go ahead and build her privacy fence leaving a small easement for maintenance, to be used mutually.

Or send him a letter stating that he owns the entire fence and the property it is on, and has such maintenance rights, therfore you will not pay him anything.